Celebites: Kris Jenner’s Drunk In Love Banana Oatmeal

Welcome to the CIA — no, not the Culinary Institute of America, but the Celebuzz Institute of AppetizingFoodStuffsOnCelebrityInstagrams.

(The title is a technicality. What really matters is the noms.)

Have you ever felt discouraged upon viewing a celebrity foodgram, under the impression that the exhibited delicious dish is as exclusive as the privileged mouth(s) that it is about to enter? Well here’s the thing: it’s notGood food is attainable even if your name is not of the Kardashian varietal and we are here to prove that it is so in this brand spankin’ new feature called Celebites.

Every other week we will take a tantalizing bit of food porn from a celebrity Instagram account and develop a recipe that is simple, delicious, and realistic to prepare without the assistance of a fleet of private chefs who are living in your back-up mansion.

Hungry yet? Good. Let’s dig in.

When you don’t feel good and someone makes you oatmeal 😍 #sweet #thoughtful #smile #love

A photo posted by @krisjenner on

When you don’t feel good and someone makes you oatmeal 😍 #sweet #thoughtful #smile #love

Hello, Kris Jenner! What a happy bowl of oatmeal that you have. By your caption, it could be inferred that someone special made this balanced breakfast to brighten up your morning. Indeed, this gesture is both hashtag sweet AND hashtag thoughtful, to which we hashtag smile because we feel the hashtag love.

In our fantasy land, you awoke to the smell of brown sugar wafting in from your kitchen where Corey Gamble was stirring up a creamy pot of sweet delight.

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Now, while you, reader at home, may not be a celebrity matriarch who is drunk in love, who’s to say that your oatmeal cannot be?

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Bananas caramelized in brown sugar and coffee liqueur atop plump rolled oats will inebriate your tummy, sending your soul into a spiral of amorous intoxication.

Notes:

  • The oats can begin soaking in the refrigerator overnight to speed up the cooking process in the morning.
  • Whole milk is preferred, but when tested with almond milk, the results were just as desirable.
  • Be sure to remove the pan from the heat source and stand back in case of reactionary flame when it’s time to add the coffee liqueur to the bananas. (Translation: Do not singe your eyebrows off).

 

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Kris Jenner’s Drunk In Love Oats 

Serves 2 individuals or 1 ‘Hottest Couple in the Game

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup rolled oats
  • 2 cups milk
  • 2 bananas, quartered
  • 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 3 tablespoons brown sugar
  • 1/4 cup coffee liqueur
  • Sea salt, cinnamon, flakes of 24-carat gold, or whatever other toppings that you might desire

 

1. Soak the rolled oats in 1 1/2 cups of milk for a minimum of 30 minutes.

2. Cut bananas into quarters and set aside.

3. Oats: Bring the soaked rolled oats and their bathing milk to a gentle boil in a small saucepan over medium heat. Then, reduce the flame so that they cook at a gentle simmer for 5 minutes, occasionally stirring the pot. When the 5 minutes are up, add the remaining 1/2 cup of milk and cook for 2 minutes more.

4. Bananas: Melt 1 tablespoon of butter in a medium skillet over medium heat. Add 3 tablespoons brown sugar into the mix, stirring until it is completely dissolved.

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5. Add the bananas, cut side down to cook for 2 minutes, gently turning them so that they are coated in sugary goodness on all sides.

6. Off the heat, add the coffee liqueur. Shake the pan and cook for 1 minute longer.

7. Distribute the oats into two bowls and top with the bananas in their sauce, any toppings of your choosing, and hell – why not more alcohol? You are, after all, the queen of the reality TV dominion with a domestic king at your beck and call.

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If you see a celebrity Instagram photo worthy of a Celebite, tag #CelebiteThis in a comment underneath the photo to enter it in the running for a future feature!