5 Ways John Legend Should Have Pampered Chrissy Teigen in ‘OK! Magazine’ Fan Fiction
And you call yourself a Legend.
Chrissy Teigen had a laugh on Twitter Tuesday night (Nov. 3) when she stumbled across an exclusive article published by OK! Magazine claiming that hubby John Legend has taken his pampering to a whole new level.
Literally every word of this is made up but I enjoyed the story time https://t.co/w8FL7CL5UR
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) November 3, 2015
“John is ready to cater to all her wishes,” says OK! “From washing her hair to rubbing her feet!” They write that he painted her toenails over the weekend, took up cooking classes, and helps her with her yoga stretches.
Cool, cool, barring the fact that he apparently didn’t do any of these things.
Hahhaahaha. I’m trying to decide which lie is the best. The painting your toenails one is pretty amazing. https://t.co/8lC8gUk8yL
— John Legend (@johnlegend) November 4, 2015
Not to say that painting your pregnant wife’s toenails is too much to ask, Sir Legend. In fact, there are at least five things that you could have done better to be your best (fictional) father self.
1. You could have made Chrissy the shitty, elementary school chicken sandwich that she was craving.
Do you ever just want to eat the shitty, no-frills version of something? I want a shitty, elementary school chicken sandwich — christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) November 3, 2015
2. You could have funded her idealized Puddyfingers candy bar.
I wanna quit everything and develop candy bars
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) November 2, 2015
3. You could have done some investigative journalism on the post-mortem world of loser World Series tee shirts.
I need to know what happens to the loser shirts post World Series — christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) November 2, 2015
4. You could have stood your ground with angry Twitter moms about the whole food-dye-in-cereal thing.
I have a cold y’all were right about the cereal
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) October 30, 2015
5. You could have filled a bubble bath and lit your pregnant wife’s DAMN CIGAR.
Then a nice cigar in the hot tub oh today will be a delight indeed — christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) October 29, 2015