Amy Schumer’s Wildest Fantasies Involve a Bootyful Request of Bradley Cooper

Milk, milk, lemonade…

Amy Schumer is not one of GQ’s Men of the Year, but she sure has some fantasies about them. She fantasizes about her meet cute with Tom Brady to the magazine, set to his sh*tty music.

“[He] picks me up in a nice car. He says, ‘Get in,’ and I do, and we drive fast. We are listening to some dogsh*t on the radio that he likes. Even in my fantasy, I can’t imagine he likes good music,” says Schumer. “I turn it down and say, ‘Hey, what happened where is your supermodel wife I thought we were all spending the day together?’ and he pulls over and takes my hand and looks in my eyes and says: ‘I didn’t invite her because I wanted to be alone with you.'”

She kills proverbial zombies with Will Smith, sips scotch with Barack Obama, and simply requests “anal” from her fiancé-to-be Bradley Cooper.

Schumer shared her portrait by the prolific Annie Leibowitz on her Twitter account for the 2016 Pirelli Calendar that features empowering photos of well-known women including Serena Williams and Yoko Ono.

 

Watch Schumer discuss rejected GQ Men of the Year in the video below: