The Britney Spears Guide to Life, Chapter One: Greetings and Tea

Drink it, don’t spill it.

Britney Spears has been reborn in her career’s sixth life as a social media guru of sorts. She’s become a life coach to a concentrated cult following of anthropologistscorn connoisseurs and those in need of an eye exam, just to name a few, via her Instagram account. This comes as no surprise. Spears singlehandedly walked us through the exodus from girlhood to not-yet-a-womanhood, miraculously leaving only one set of footprints in the sand.

The bounty of insight that she provides on a weekly basis through her photographic sermons is so remarkable that it’s difficult to keep track of every piece of wisdom that she unloads. You deserve to be enlightened, which is why I will be providing a weekly teaching based on her Instagram musings in a motivational series entitled The Britney Spears Guide to Life.

Without further ado, let us explore the topic of this week.

Chapter One: Tea

Ms. Spears has a penchant for tea, and not in the euphemistic sense that refers to hot gossip. She enjoys the hot beverage, its caffeine level probably dependent on the time of day, and consumes it on the same scale that she does her reading materials—which happens to be large and in charge.


If this evidence is not enough, please view this photo of her alternate drinking mug.

Spears confirmed her tea capacity preferences with this poignant quote from the author of “The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe“, C.S. Lewis:


Today’s Meditation: Tea (oo)long, or don’t tea at all.

Check back next week for Chapter Two of The Britney Spears Guide to Life, and follow @britneyspears on Instagram for further reading.