2016 Academy Awards: Chris Rock’s 6 Best Opening Monologue Jokes

Chris Rock Calls Out the Oscars
Even the host isn't down with the #OscarsSoWhite

Chris Rock did not hold back.

The host absolutely tore into the #OscarSoWhite controversy during the opening monologue at the 2016 Academy Awards on Sunday (Feb. 28, 2016). Let’s just say he lived up to the hype, since it was probably the most real opening ever. “Man, I count at least 15 black people on that montage,” he began. “Well, I’m here at the Academy Awards. Otherwise known as the White People’s Choice Awards.”

Here are six of the best jokes from Rock’s opening monologue:

  1. “You realize, if they nominated host, I wouldn’t even get this job. Ya’ll would be watching Neil Patrick Harris right now.”
  2. “I thought about quitting. But then I thought, ‘They’re not going to cancel the Oscars cuz I quit. And the last thing I need is to lose another job to Kevin Hart.”
  3. Jada said she’s not coming. I’m like, ‘Isn’t she on a TV show?’ Jada’s gonna boycott the Oscars — Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna’s panties.”
  4. “That’s right: Is Hollywood racist? You’re damn right Hollywood’s racist. But it ain’t that racist that you’ve grown accustomed to. Hollywood is sorority racist. It’s like, “We like you, Rhonda — but you’re not a Kappa.” That’s how Hollywood is.
  5. We got a black Rocky this year. Some people call it Creed, I call it Black Rocky. And that’s an unbelievable statement, because Rocky takes place in a world where white athletes are as good as black athletes. So Rocky’s a science fiction movie.
  6. Jamie Foxx was so good in Ray that they went to the hospital and unplugged the real Ray Charles. It’s like, “We don’t need two of these.”

Watch his incredibly epic monologue below!