The season opener does shed some, er, Lord of Light, but… SPOILERS AHEAD, click with caution!
Ready? You make sure you’re all set to read on if you want to… yes? Okay, good.
Yes, it does indeed look like Jon Snow is dead. The opening shot of the Game of Thrones Season 6 premiere on Sunday is exactly where we left off, with Jon lying in the snow in a puddle of his own blood after being stabbed several times by his fellow Night’s Watchmen. What makes this even sadder is Snow’s dire wolf howling in a cage nearby, trying to claw his way out to get to his master.
Davos comes out to see what the deal is and spots Jon, rushes down with a few of Jon’s allies, and they lift the body and bring it into their enclosure, making sure to lock the door behind them. As Jon lies on a table, you think at any moment he might take a breath, but alas, he looks really dead.
ENTER MESLISANDRE! Is this it? Can the Red Witch resurrect him? Hmmm… she seems just as crestfallen as the rest of them, shocked even because, as she says, she “saw him in the flames, fighting at Winterfell.” Nope, she isn’t doing anything to bring our Jon Snow back to us. Not yet, anyway.
Alliser Thorne, the former Lord Commander, admits to rest of the Night’s Watch that he killed Snow, but only because he brought the Wildlings in and was going to destroy all that the Night’s Watch had built. Boy, are they going to feel stupid when the Whitewalkers show up. Big mistake. Huge.
Now the reason we still aren’t completely convinced Jon Snow is dead is that at the end of this episode, titled “The Red Woman” (get it?), we see a version of Melisandre we’ve never seen before. As she stands in front of a gold mirror, she takes off her clothes (nothing new for her). Then she takes off that choker that she always wears. Suddenly, standing before us is a haggard old woman, as if all her spells have washed away and what’s left is the real Red Woman. This has to mean something. Like maybe she’ll sacrifice her power of immortality and give it to Jon. Oh, who knows. We could just forever be in a state of denial over this character’s demise.
Here’s a quick rundown of what else happened:
Sansa and Theon are on the run in the forest – and damn, it looks cold. They don’t get very far before Ramsay’s men show up, aiming to drag them back. But guess who comes to the rescue? Brienne! God, this woman is awesome. She and squire Podrick manage to overtake the men in badass fashion, except one, who is thus struck down by the now valiant Theon. Brienne then swears her undying allegiance to Sansa, and Sansa accepts with her own code of honor. Nice moment. Finally, something good happens to Sansa. Brienne is someone you want on your side, by god.
Sansa sister, Arya, is still blind and sitting on the street, not sure what to do. One of Jaqen H’ghar’s minions, Waif, shows up and throws Arya a staff and tells her to fight. Then kicks the crap out of her, telling Arya that she’ll see her tomorrow. Guess the lessons are not over.
Back at King’s Landing, Cersei is still recovering from her shame ordeal, but then receives the really really bad news about her daughter Myrcella when Jamie sails back from Dorne. Cersei is convinced she’s cursed, remembering what the witch once told her about how all her children will die. But Jamie is determined to regain the Lannister’s former glory. He’s going to fight back.
Meanwhile, in Dorne, Ellaria Sand takes charge with her Sand Snakes daughters. She kills Prince Doran Martell and his son. “Weak men will never rule Dorne again.” Grimace emoji.
In Mereen, Tyrion and Varys are going into the streets to figure out what the people are thinking. To find out what the Sons of Harpy are doing. “Fear has brought Mereen to a stand still.” The Sons of Harpy have burned all the ships in Mereen’s fleet. Meanwhile, Jorah and Daario are on Daenerys’ trail They find the Dothraki horse tracks that surrounded Dany last we saw her. Jorah also finds the earring she dropped. “They have her.”
They sure do. Dany is now in chains, trudging back to the Dothraki headquarters. The Dothraki men comment on her beauty and how intimate they’d like to get with her. She is then presented to Khal Moro, who has the same intentions. I guess these guys don’t remember her from before, but they’re going to. She recites her titles to the Khal, who just laughs. Then she lays it on them: She was married to Khal Drogo. That does it, at least to stop her from getting raped by everyone. However, she is told that her fate is now to go live with the other Khal widows in some remote spot for the rest of her days. Come on, we know that’ll never happen.
And we are off!