Halsey Reveals She Suffered a Miscarriage in 2015

Halsey Talks Dating a Heroin Addict and Her Suicide Attempt
The singer gets candid about her past struggles.

As she was promoting her debut album, Badlands, last year, Halsey suffered a miscarriage moments before she had to perform at a concert for millions of fans.

In her latest profile with Rolling Stone, the singer recalled finding out she was pregnant as she was promoting her first record. Explaining to the interviewer about the unplanned pregnancy, Halsey said she didn’t know what to do with the unborn child and, before she even decided, had miscarried while getting ready for a show at a Chicago hotel.

“I’m like, ‘I have to cancel this show!’ And everyone’s kind of like, ‘Well, it’s Vevo LIFT, and it’s 3 million impressions, so …’ No one knew what to do,” she remembered. According to Halsey, she eventually put on an adult diaper and put two Percocet before hitting the stage.

“It’s the angriest performance that I’ve ever done in my life,” she told the publication. “That was the moment of my life where I thought to myself, ‘I don’t feel like a fucking human being anymore.’ This thing, this music, Halsey, whatever it is that I’m doing, took precedence and priority over every decision that I made regarding this entire situation from the moment I found out until the moment it went wrong. I walked offstage and went into the parking lot and just started throwing up.”

Though she’s still unsure why she miscarried, Halsey said it’s more than likely she lost the baby because of stress and her hectic schedule.

“I beat myself up for it,” she shared, “because I think that the reason it happened is just the lifestyle I was living. I wasn’t drinking. I wasn’t doing drugs. I was fucking overworked — in the hospital every couple of weeks because I was dehydrated, needing bags of IVs brought to my greenroom. I was anemic; I was fainting. My body just broke the fuck down.”

Halsey added that her biggest regret was playing the concert after finding out she had miscarried. Though a lot was riding on the show, she admitted that no one forced her to go through with the concert, and she chose to go on stage.

“I had a choice,” she said, before musing, “I want to be a mom more than I want to be a pop star. More than I want to be anything in the world.”