Heidi Montag Calls ‘The Hills’ Anniversary Special ‘A Great Kohl’s Commercial’

MTV’s retrospective on Lauren Conrad’s behind-the-scenes narrative of the show that put “sit at a surfboard desk at FIDM” on our millennium bucket list aired on Tuesday (Aug. 2, 2016) to the general disappointment of its viewers and its former cast members.

The one-hour The Hills: That Was Then, This Is Now special documented Conrad’s life as it stands now, where she is a thriving businesswoman with a line of clothing that appeals to the California Pinterest aesthetic. She’s wiser and stronger than the girl that was depicted on the spinoff of her freshman reality series, laughing at her youthful ambivalence to the term “chinoiserie” as she holds a bouquet of garden roses. We met her parents, who were omniscient bystanders to her adolescent meltdowns below the thump of Les Deux nightclub during the show’s run, and were presented with never-before-seen footage of her painful breakup with Jason Wahler. But beyond this small dose of non-scripted reality, the rest of the special was pastel. Rosy and pastel.

This surface approach to revisiting The Hills falls in line with Conrad’s issuing from the start of the special where she admits that her memories of the show invoke a greater sense of PTSD. It explains why the focus of the special is centered around the “here and now” as opposed to what the past was. We escaped the millennium: Wahler is sober, Audrina Patridge is a TV personality, Lady Gaga is Lady Gaga, and Kim Kardashian is pretty successful as well.

Like the rest of The Hills cast, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were not invited to participate in the special, so they hosted their own tell-all on social media instead. Montag, live-blogging on Broadly, expressed her annoyance on being called “brainwashed” by Spencer.

“I never started a rumor about Lauren,” wrote Montag. “I had nothing to do with Lauren and her choices, and it’s unfair that a decade after the show started, everyone still blames the drama on Spencer and me.”

Heidi also voiced her perspective from behind the scenes of the show’s production in comparison to how it was described by Conrad. “The crew was not divided,” she said. “They never came to my defense. They never considered Spencer or my feelings. They always took Lauren’s side.”

“Overall, this special is a great Kohl’s commercial,” Montag concluded. “I want to go to Kohl’s right now. I’ll buy some of Lauren’s clothes. They’re cute!

Pratt, her husband, threw in his two cents on Twitter.

https://twitter.com/spencerpratt/status/760655281638379520

Conrad narrated the top of the special with one of her poignant quotes: “Everyone talks about the soundtrack to their lives. Ten years ago, this was the soundtrack to my life. That was then, this is now.”

And the beauty of now is in the forward-turned eye of the beholder.