Colton Haynes Opens Up About Why He Blames Himself for His Father’s Suicide

Coming out wasn’t easy for Colton Haynes.

The actor, who coyly came out as gay in a Tumblr post, admits it’s been a battle. In a candid interview with OUT magazine, Haynes reveals that his decision to remain in the closet had everything to do with his career. “I feel really bad that I had to lie for so long,” he said. “But I was told that was the only way I was going to be successful. When you’re young in this industry, people take advantage of you, and they literally tell you that your dreams are going to come true. If you believe that, you’ll do anything. And you do believe it, especially if you’re from Kansas”

However, dealing with the idea that his father’s suicide might have had something to do with the fact that he was gay made it even harder for him.

“I’m the last person in the world who would say, ‘Oh, my dad – pity me.’ But I was told that my dad killed himself because he found out I was gay,” he revealed. “So, of course, I lost it and was like, ‘How could you say something like that?’ And no one will ever really know the truth. But my brother and my mom went to pick up my dad’s stuff, and the only picture on his fridge was my eighth-grade graduation picture. So I was just like, Fuck.”

Head over to OUT to read Haynes’ full cover story.