Where Would The Plastics Be on ‘Mean Girls’ Day in 2016?

Let’s imagine where the It girls of North Shore High School would be on this monumental holiday (well, monumental for Cady Heron, anyway.)

It’s October 3rd, the day that Aaron Samuels asked Cady what day it was. It was October 3rd.

However, this was back in 2004. A lot has happened since The Plastics disbanded and the crew’s pre-collegiate tenure came to a close, such as the creation of a GIF keyboard and croissants that double as donuts. We have a lot of catching up to do, so here’s our best guess as to what the Mean Girls would be doing today in 2016.

Cady Heron (Lindsay Lohan)


Cady and Aaron Samuels split up when their visits at Northwestern grew far and few between. She received her degree in chemical engineering and, years later, became a product development scientist for the company that manufactures Kälteen nutrition bars. She still eats them sometimes when she’s catching up on The Real Housewives.

Gretchen Weiners (Lacey Chabert)

Hallmark Channel & Hallmark Movie Channel's 2015 Winter TCA Party - Arrivals

Inspired by her lasting friendships from the “Cool Asians” clique at North Shore, Gretchen learned how to speak Japanese and Mandarin, moved to Tokyo, and partnered with her father to supply malnourished children in developing Asian countries with Toaster Strudels.

Regina George (Rachel McAdams)


Regina George altered the destiny of her athletic career when she decided to switch from playing lacrosse to playing varsity soccer. She continued playing at Syracuse University while studying fashion merchandising, then went on to join the professional Philadelphia Charge team where she met their former goalie, Hope Solo, at the team’s alumni mixer. Regina accidentally kissed Hope’s then-boyfriend at the party because he looked really sexy with his hair pushed back (it’s her type) and felt that this incident persuaded Solo to sabotage her qualification for the Olympics.

Regina was last seen drinking a pineapple martini with ESPN’s investigative reporter Mark Fainaru-Wada while on an “R&R getaway” with her mother in Turks and Caico—one week before he published the report that re-opened the case surrounding Solo’s arrest. Weird, right?

Karen Smith (Amanda Seyfried)


Karen became a meteorologist for her local news station and received a large settlement from Donald Trump after he called her a “disgusting booby-fondler” when he witnessed her reading her “barometer” on set. God, he’s so stupid.