Joe Jonas Answers Your Burning Questions About Nick Jonas’s Nipples
The foremost DNCE member answered questions from fans in regards to tacos, his Camp Rock regrets, and Nick Jonas’s nipples. Specifically, user HarambeCode asked Jonas [sic], “whats up with Nick’s nipples, bruh? – shit is weird.” Joe dutifully responded, “Nick’s nipples are not as big as they may appear. It did take multiple surgeries to get them down to a normal size. I think it was like 30-40 surgeries to just get them to a little quarter shape.”
(“P.S. Dicks out for Harambe,” Joe added.)
Joe also detailed the scene when he lost his virginity to former girlfriend Ashley Greene. “You can probably just Google it,” he began. “It’s quite the great story because I didn’t have any condoms, so I went to our drummer, Jack’s room, who was my roommate at the time and I demolished his room looking for them. Found them underneath his underwear drawer. When he came home, he thought somebody broke into his room because his whole room was demolished because I was in dire need. Needed to happen then and now. Safety first, kids.”
As for Camp Rock, Joe admitted that his dance moves in the movie were “so terrible.” “I thought I was killing the game, too,” he said. “Actually, Tyler The Creator posted it one day and I was like, ‘Oh, cool! Tyler thinks my dance moves are sick!’ and I realized he was just totally calling me out for being a total dickhead and the way I danced, but respectfully. I think my flat iron hair and my squeaky voice are a little embarrassing.”
And if you wish to eat the same tacos that Joe enjoys when he’s in California, hit up Cactus Taqueria on Vine St. in Los Angeles. “That place is pretty bomb. It’s a little shack on the caddy corner, so I recommend going there and usually going after a night out,” he advised, though you have better luck catching him on Mars by next year.
“I would like to hopefully be rocking out on Mars, like Obama promised us, today,” said Jonas. “Maybe they can speed up the trials and I can go up there and hang out. That would be nice. First band to play on the moon and Mars. We’re going to do a galaxy tour.”
If there’s a NASA collaboration with DNCE and Lance Bass in outer space, will it make a sound? Read the rest of Joe’s AMA thread, which includes commentary on his allegedly massive penis, over on Reddit.