Rachel Bloom Opens Up About Struggles with Depression and Anxiety
Rachel Bloom is opening up about her dark days.
Speaking with Glamour, the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend star divulges details about struggling with the worst depression in her life. Remembering how everything started when she was trying to pitch her hit TV show, Bloom says her anxiety “started a spiral” and she lost sleep over it.
“Every night before a pitch that week, I had sleep anxiety. I became delirious—and afraid that I wasn’t sleeping; ergo I would ruin everything. But the lack of rest didn’t ruin the pitches, and I was good at covering up my anxiety,” she recalls. “All this time I was trying to hide my feelings. Aline [Brosh McKenna, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend co-creator] didn’t realize how dark it got; even with my boyfriend I struggled to articulate how bad it was on the inside.”
After being diagnosed with low-grade depression and put on a small dose of Prozac, the Golden Globe winner says she started finding strength in others who were dealing with the same thing.
“Here’s a stereotype (I had believed) that antidepressants numb you out; that didn’t happen to me,” she explains. “The thing that has most aided me through my anxiety and depression is realizing I’m not alone. I’m naturally bubbly, even when I’m sad. But here’s what people can’t see: During a spiral the world feels dark. I have anxiety about anxiety, then I worry the anxiety will ruin my life. It’s a snake-eats-tail loop. But in opening up to others, I found a lot of people have felt the same way.”
“My psychiatrist has also helped me realize that not every thought needs to be indulged—some are nonsense,” the actress continues. “To help me do that, I’ve gotten into meditating. Yes, meditating. Meditating has helped me to focus on the present and to not see every great thing as my thing to fuck up.”
She adds, “So I try to say to myself, ‘Hey, you only live once. Go along for the ride. Do your best.'”
Now, after years of seeing a therapist, Bloom reveals she’s “in a good place” and can get a handle on her own anxiety.
“I’m not dealing with depression alone anymore,” she shares. “My psychiatrist is on my team. So is Aline. Most important, so is my husband. He doesn’t try to diminish or ‘solve’ my anxiety; he says, ‘That sounds horrible. I’m so sorry. What do you need from me now?'”