Charlie Sheen Pens Strange Poem in Response to Brooke Mueller’s Mental Breakdown

It’s no secret that Charlie Sheen is a bit of a wild card these days. So when it came time to release a statement about his ex-wife Brooke Mueller’s breakdown, during which she ran away from home with seven-year-old twin sons Bob and Max, the former Two and a Half Men actor decided to write a poem about the experience.

Let’ just say it’s not necessarily Shakespeare.

“In the face of a roughshod and polar moment of unsanctioned divide, sanity and certainty were restored with grace and resolve,” he penned in a statement to People. “Immeasurable gratitude and love to a fellow yeoman of the apocalypse; sir Michael from that hamlet called Walters, need accept each and every Crimson palm-sting, as high fives rain upon his bitchen nobility, not just from this traveler, but from his safe and stable brood as well …”

As previously reported, Mueller caught the attention of authorities when she allegedly struck one of her children while under the influence of an undisclosed substance outside of a car wash in Salt Lake City this week. Looking disheveled without shoes on, the actress then brought her kids into a bar hoping to bum a cigarette from a patron. When the twins’ nanny, who was accompany the mother-and-sons trio, confronted Mueller, the two got into a fight and cops were dispatched to the scene.

Mueller is said to be undergoing a psychiatric evaluation after reportedly going off her medication and attacking her children. An insider tells People, “the boys are fine and with their nanny.”

The 39-year-old moved to Utah to seek treatment at a local rehab center. It was said that Mueller was participating in an outpatient program at the time of the incident.