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This season, most of us will make that extra effort to be generous to our friends, family, and loved ones. If we could, some of us would also take a moment to extend that generosity to our favorite celebrities.

I asked the staff of Celebuzz to tell me what kinds of gifts they’d buy for their favorite (or you know, not favorite) celebrities. Turns out, we’re a bunch of trolls. Below, see what we, the writers and editors of the Number One Pop Culture Website* (*in someone’s heart, surely) would give as gifts to celebrities like Lady Gaga, Orlando Bloom, Blac Chyna, and more.

Matt Russoniello, Managing Editor, Would Like to Give…

Lady Gaga a Bark Box gift certificate!

“Gaga has as many dogs as she has No. 1 hits, which is to say three, which is to say a lot. Give those pups the luxe life they deserve!”

Selena Gomez this Ariana Huffington-approved phone bed!

“Should Selena’s decide to take another social media hiatus, her phone should be comfortable. And hey, she can afford it.”

Michael Prieve, Editor-in-Chief, Would Like to Give…

Demi Lovato an island!

“Being a young celebrity is tough. Having your own oasis is which you can get away from life, fans, Twitter and everyone else is key. So an island that is far, far, far, far, far away from everyone else would be ideal.”

Donald Trump a Kim Kimble gift certificate!

“A gift certificate for a visit to Kim Kimble, Beyoncé’s hairstylist is key, because we all know that the Donald could definitely use a new look.”

Mia Lardiere, Multimedia Content Producer, Would Like to Give…

Lauren Conrad a(nother) set of mason jars!

“Because you can never have too many!!!”

Ben Affleck these footie pajamas!

“If one thing would make Ben Affleck happy this year, it might just be this one-piece pajama set that comes equipped with a butt flap.”

Bill Cosby a one-way ticket to space!

“Just ’cause!”

Jelani Addams Rosa, Staff Editor, Would Like to Give…

Tyga an abacus!

“All this modern money counting business seems to really confuse him, so I figure a much more simple device will help him get his affairs in order.”

Brad Pitt a Blue Apron subscription.

“His house may be empty, but at least his stomach won’t be!”

Gabi Chung, Senior Editor, Would Like to Give…

“… Kylie Jenner a 2017 planner!”

“A book to jot down all the things she’ll be undoubtedly ~realizing~ in the new year.”

Jon Hamm a pair of sweatpants!

“Because you know… *Insert eggplant emoji here*”

Kaley Cuoco and Karl Cook this two-person horse costume!

“Since they like horses so much, they can finally become one together.”

Scott Baumgartner, Staff Editor, Would Like to Give…

Orlando Bloom a pair of swim trunks!

“He keeps losing his for some reason…”

Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna a McDonald’s gift certificate!

“Because new parents need to treat themselves sometimes!”