New Year’s Resolutions That We Think Celebrities Will Be Making For 2017
If we’re allowed to be frank for a moment, we think we can all agree, 2016 has been a pretty trash year.
But fear not! Because 2017 is right around the corner and anything’s got to be better than this year, right? So in the spirit of starting the new year on a positive note, we’ve taken it upon ourselves to imagine the New Years resolutions of 15 celebrities who are determined to make next year the best one yet.
Kylie Jenner: To Realize Even MORE Things
“Because 2016 has been a year of realizing that the world is pretty crappy.” Gabi Chung, Senior Editor.
Ariana Grande: To Be Carried Literally Everywhere
“Don’t let your feet touch the ground in 2017, Ariana.” Scott Baumgartner, Staff Editor.
Ed Sheeran: To Break Out of Taylor Swift’s Friend Zone Now That Tom Hiddleston Is Out of the Picture
“Ed is the Gordo to Taylor’s Lizzie McGuire. It is a cycle that is unending.” Mia Lardiere, Multimedia Editor.
Britney Spears: To Post More, Like, Photos of Vegetables and Cartoon Angels to Instagram.
“They’re like really, really, very cool.” Matt Russniello, Managing Editor.
Donald Trump: To Really, Really, Really Try to Stop Tweeting After Midnight.
“Donald’s Twitter account kind of says it all.” Michael Prieve, Editor in Chief.
Rob Kardashian: To Earn the Title of “Hottest Kardashian”
“It went from Kim to Kourtney to Khloé, naturally it’s Rob’s turn.” Jelani Addams Rosa.
Zayn Malik: To Find an Anxiety Guru to Help Manage and Conquer His Stage Fright
“Last year, Zayn canceled a bunch of appearances.” Michael Prieve.
Mariah Carey: To Google Jennifer Lopez
“It’s about time Mariah learns who JLo is.” Jelani Addams Rosa, Staff Editor.
Demi Lovato: To Take a Two-Day Social Media Hiatus.
“She did it for one day in 2016. Now let’s see if she can stay off Twitter for two!” Gabi Chung.
Justin Bieber: To Make It Through ONE (1) Concert Without Berating My Own Fans
“Nah just kidding tho.” Matt Russniello.
Ariel Winter: To Clap Back at the Body-Shamers, Once and For All
“This is her platform, and I hope that she can rid the internet of its trolls, one way or another.” Mia Lardiere.
Kanye West: To Bury the Hatchet with Jay Z
“Hopefully this storied friendship is rescued in the new year.” Scott Baumgartner.
Taylor Swift: To Make Sure All Future Phone Calls Are Made on a Secure, Untapped Line
“#KimExposedTaylorParty” Matt Russniello.
Tyga: To Pay My Car Debts
“He doesn’t need the embarrassment of Kylie Jenner buying him another car.” Natasha Reda, Writer.
Jennifer Aniston: To Sign Up for an Instagram Account
“Because who doesn’t want to see more BTS photos of Jen and Justin Theroux.” Natasha Reda.