Kelly Osbourne recalls difficult moments from her adolescence and peculiar incidents from her career in her new memoir, There Is No F*cking Secret, Letters from a Badass Bitch.
Kelly travels back to an instance in 2003 when, at 19 years old, she was called offstage during a live television segment to be informed that her father, Ozzy Osbourne, was involved in a critical ATV accident. They were the only two members of their family journeying together on this particular trip to England, so Kelly was the only person who could authorize his treatment.
She watched Ozzy’s lungs fill up with blood until he flatlined, but paramedics were able to restore the life in him.
“They had resuscitated him, and he was yelling, ‘Don’t f**k up my tattoos! I’ll f**king kill you if you f**k up my tattoos!’” she continues. “That gave me a little bit of hope.”
From this moment on, he returned to his usual raucous persona. He even threw a bedpan out of his hospital room weeks later while he was in recovery, yelling at the medical staff, “I can wipe my own f**king ass, thank you very much! F**k off!”
Kelly also writes the time she wore a thong for the first time. Her mom, Sharon Osbourne, accidentally purchased day-of-the-week underwear of the butt-floss variety rather than bikini bottoms. Kelly wore them anyway until her father caught a glimpse of her new panties when they peeked out from the top of her pants.
“No daughter of mine is going to wear a throng!’ he screamed. Yes, he called it a throng,” Osbourne writes. “And then he proceeded to cut said throng off me with a pair of scissors.”
She didn’t wear thongs again until years later when she saw red carpet photos of herself that showed visible panty lines.
Read more anecdotes from Kelly’s book over on Vulture.