jurisprudence

Amy Winehouse's Husband Gets Two Years in the Pokey

by celebuzz on Jul. 21, 2008 12:26 PM / Leave a Comment
Amy Winehouse's Husband Gets Two Years in the Pokey
WENN

Oh no; who'll film Amy Winehouse's racist nursery rhymes now?

Sky News reports that Blake Fielder-Civil, Amy's long-incarcerated hubby, has received 27 months for assaulting a man and attempting to bribe the victim afterward.

Fielder-Civil pleaded guilty last month to assaulting pub landlord James King with a friend, Michael Brown, and later offering King approximately $400,000 to scuttle the trial.

The altercation stemmed from Brown being 86ed from the club earlier that evening.

Fielder-Civil has already spent nine months in London's Pentonville prison, and could be eligible for release in four-and-a-half-months if he behaves well.

Fat chance of that.

It's more likely that Amy will burst through the prison doors while shoving the guard in the face, distract the security staff by rubbing her naked breasts against a glass partition, then carry her husband to safety on her back while she bounds through the streets of London with gazelle-like strides.

In a perfect world, that's the way it would happen.

Quotables /
“Beating up a bar owner and then attempting to cover up the crime with a bribe. Yeah, don’t do that. Amy Winehouse’s husband Blake Fielder-Civil was sentenced to 27 months in jail today for his part in an attack last year that left London bar owner James King with metal plates in his face. Since he’s already been in jail since November 2007, Fielder-Civil could be released in little as five months.

I wonder how Amy’s gonna survive another five months without her husband. Oh yeah, that’s right: crack.”
Celebslam
“That bloodcurdling crack shriek that you're hearing is Amy Winehouse howling at the news that her husband Blake Fielder-Civil was sentenced to 27 months in jail for assault and bribing a witness.

Don't worry, it's jail, he can still get drugs.

She must be ready to tear that hive out at its dirty roots. Their junkie love is unbreakable.

Fielder-Civil (doesn't that name sound like the kind of person who should be some sort of lawyer, professor or diplomat as opposed to crackhead?) had already been incarcerated for nine months while awaiting trial and sentencing.

Amy drowned her sorry by partying all weekend, and she was seen alleycatting around til' the wee hours of the morning on Saturday. She must have been a little junked out as she wasn't present for the sentencing. Either that or she was probably trying to use the drainpipe outside the courthouse to smoke a crack rock during the proceedings. There's no shame in her game!”
Socialite Life
“Blake Fielder-Civil, the husband of Amy Winehouse and the guy generally considered to be the reason she’s hopelessly addicted to drugs, was sentenced to 27 months in jail today for attempting to bribe witnesses in an assault trial. The short version is this: in June of 2007 Fielder was arrested for assaulting a pub owner. In November of 2007, Fielder and 4 others were arrested for attempting to bribe the pub owner with 200,000 dollars in exchange for him to not appear in court.

I'm no legal expert, but I think gist of Blake's sentence is: His ass is gonna look like a life preserver. The End.”
Next Story / Madonna and A-Rod: Now There's a Sex Tape?

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