sightings

Brooke Hogan, Solitary Tanner

by Celebuzz on Aug. 8, 2008 05:45 PM / Leave a Comment
Brooke Hogan, Solitary Tanner
Bauer Griffin Online

Reality-TV travesty and potential Playboy model Brooke Hogan took a break from prison visits and lying about her family long enough to hit the beach in Miami yesterday.

Shockingly, Hulk's full-bodied offspring was traveling solo.

Has Brooke really become so unlikeable that she can't even find someone to sunbathe with? Not even her loyal buttock-oiler? Has the entire world abandoned Brooke Hogan?

Maybe she just wanted some solitude so she could craft her latest feminist manifesto. Make sure to watch next week's Brooke Knows Best. She'll explain why it would be best for women to be housed in remote huts while they're menstruating.

Quotables /
“Brooke Hogan stepped out to do a little tanning yesterday outside her Miami apartment. And by tanning I mean she's making "the marketing team" work overtime. Gotta keep those ratings up. In fact, I've obtained an excerpt from Brooke's VH1 contract that shows just how important her chesticles are:

"IV. Brooke Hogan will agree to prominently display her augmented chest area in the press at least once a week until the airing of the season finale. At such time, Brooke Hogan will pose nude for Playboy magazine who have graciously agreed to airbrush out her penis provided she receive no compensation and does not make eye contact with anyone on the premises. Brooke Hogan will also refuse to cooperate with local law enforcement in the likely event the photographer commits suicide immediately following the shoot. Brooke Hogan will be responsible for funeral arrangements including, but not limited to, providing an assorted cheese tray."”
The Superficial
“Has the Hulk been taking photography classes? These pictures don’t look half bad . . . he did take these pictures, right?”
Celebslam
“Did Brooke Hogan have more work done? Her face is less hulkish than normal, and for the first time she actually looks like a lady. I’m not sure if these thoughts are caused by the serious hangover I have right now but if they are, I apologize. It’s just the booze talking.”
“We don't know why, but the phrase "The cheese tans alone" just won't leave our mind, so we thought we'd share.

Corny twist on well-known phrase was brought about by these here photos of Brooke Hogan (you know, that girl we're supposed to feel sorry for... and we occasionaly do).

The sanest Hogan (barely a compliment) got away from it all today by spending a little time soaking up the sun on a Miami beach.

Wow. That beach looks great.”
Next Story / Keanu Reeves Revs the Iron Beast Between His Legs

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