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Bruno Strips Down For 'GQ'

on Jun. 16, 2009 09:15 AM / 1 Comment
Bruno Strips Down For 'GQ'

We love Brüno!

Sacha Baron Cohen's flamboyant alter-ego graces the cover of GQ's July issue completely nude, in an ode to Jennifer Aniston's famous nude cover from earlier this year.

In his interview, he offeres tips on manscaping, wearing heels and gym essentials like nipple clamps! Here are some of our favorites:

Dear Brüno, how can I get some “Efron hair”? Or at least some “Pattinson hair”? Ich vouldn’t bother getting a Zac Efron hairstyle right now, cos ich am about to change mine and he’s certain to copy me again. In terms of grooming, ze only thing he hasn’t copied me with ist getting his ballensack pierced— vell, he hadn’t had it done ze last time ich saw him.

Dear Brüno, what do you sleep in? In reality, ich sleep in a seaweed body wrap
under a Zac Posen Navy-Cut Nightshirt. In mein dreams, ich sleep naked in a giant reed basket drifting slowly down ze Nile, cradled in ze arms of Daniel Radcliffe.

Dear Brüno, is it okay to “manscape” down there? It’s more zan okay; it is most essential. Be careful if you do it yourself, though—yesterday ich tried to self-wax mein arschenhaller und glued meinself to ze bed. Manscaping ist important, but not as crucial as getting regular anal bleaching. If Brüno didn’t get his schmutziger arschenhaller bleached twice a month, his shtinker vould resemble Dizzy Gillespie during a trumpet solo. In Austria anal bleaching ist considered so important zat it’s paid for by ze state. In fact, you cannot run for office if you don’t have a vhite arschwitz. Indeed, ex-chancellor Kurt Waldheim vas elected on ze back of a prishtine anus. Zere are added benefits to getting ze bleaching—on my last session, mein beautician, Klaus, found ze long-lost head of a David Beckham action figure up zere.

Bruno hits theatres on July 10!

Next Story / PHOTO GALLERY: CFDA Fashion Awards

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  • noah 4 mos ago
    Bruno said:

    In terms of grooming, ze only thing [Zac Efron] hasn’t cop ied me with ist getting his bal lensack pierced— vell, he hadn†™t had it done ze last time ich saw him. 


    bahaha.

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