family

The Curious Ways of Joe Simpson

by celebuzz on Jun. 11, 2008 06:04 AM / 6 Comments

To hear dictatorial dadager Joe Simpson tell it, it's not his fault that the world thinks of him as a sleazeball. It's the press' fault, for reporting on his sleazeball antics.

In an effort to massage his demonic public image, Papa Joe sat down with Extra to dispel some common conceptions about himself.

"The media says I try to plan everything," Simpson protests. "They [Ashlee and Jessica] don’t call me and ask me. They call me and tell me.”

Despite tabloid reports that Joe was instrumental in driving Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo away from Jessica, Joe insists his firstborn is "the happiest I've seen her in years."

Oh, really? If that's the case, Joe has probably seen his kid in some pretty miserable positions. Which is entirely plausible.

She's selling her panties, Joe...and she's not even a Japanese schoolgirl.

Something's gravely wrong here.

Quotables /

“Joe Simpson gets a lot of flack for his involvement in his daughter's lives whether it's for selling photo rights of his unborn grandchild or trying to manage Tony Romo's $67 million football contract. But ole Papa Simpson set the record straight with Us Weekly:

On rumors he controls his daughters:
“The media says that I try to plan everything - If I had half of the power they give me…They [Ashlee and Jessica] don’t call me and ask me. They call me and tell me.”

On Jessica and Tony Romo:
He adds that Jessica “... is as happy as I’ve seen her in years.” and gushes about the Dallas Cowboys quarterback, “He’s a great guy. I love Tony to death….He’s just a good kid….”

On Ashlee and Pete Wentz:
“I love Pete to death…He has a patient spirit and a kind heart…I’m honored to have Pete as my son-in-law.”

On his daughters' breasts:
"They're just great investments... I love them to death!"*”

The Superficial

Tell Us / Joe Simpson: misunderstood nice guy or gaping sleazeball?

Next Story / Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen Needle Each Other

Also In Family /

Comments / 1-6 of 6

Sort Oldest First

neverneverland 1 yr 5 mos ago
Reply

when it comes down to it, i don't think he can really control what his daughters do. they're grown ups and are extremely successful without him
gossipguy 1 yr 5 mos ago
Reply

i find it so wrong that he even answered a question about Jessica's breasts. and to say that they're "great investments"? Sick
lisatee 1 yr 5 mos ago
Reply

hahaahaha...gossipguy, i'm pretty sure he didn't say that...it's a joke.
gorillasayz 1 yr 5 mos ago
Reply

I just want some of those panties.
gossipguy 1 yr 5 mos ago
Reply

OHHH. that's sneaky, cutting off the part where it tells you it's not a real quote. but nonetheless, very humorous.
notobsessed 1 yr 5 mos ago
Reply

yeah that was a superficial joke, literally