family

The Curious Ways of Joe Simpson

on Jun. 11, 2008 06:04 AM / 6 Comments

To hear dictatorial dadager Joe Simpson tell it, it's not his fault that the world thinks of him as a sleazeball. It's the press' fault, for reporting on his sleazeball antics.

In an effort to massage his demonic public image, Papa Joe sat down with Extra to dispel some common conceptions about himself.

"The media says I try to plan everything," Simpson protests. "They [Ashlee and Jessica] don’t call me and ask me. They call me and tell me.”

Despite tabloid reports that Joe was instrumental in driving Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo away from Jessica, Joe insists his firstborn is "the happiest I've seen her in years."

Oh, really? If that's the case, Joe has probably seen his kid in some pretty miserable positions. Which is entirely plausible.

She's selling her panties, Joe...and she's not even a Japanese schoolgirl.

Something's gravely wrong here.

Quotables /
Joe Simpson: misunderstood nice guy or gaping sleazeball?
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Comments / 1-6 of 6

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  • neverneverland 1 yr 5 mos ago

    when it comes down to it, i don't think he can really control what his daughters do. they're grown ups and are extremely successful without him

  • gossipguy 1 yr 5 mos ago

    i find it so wrong that he even answered a question about Jessica's breasts. and to say that they're "great investments"? Sick

  • lisatee 1 yr 5 mos ago

    hahaahaha...gossipguy, i'm pretty sure he didn't say that...it's a joke.

  • gorillasayz 1 yr 5 mos ago

    I just want some of those panties.

  • gossipguy 1 yr 5 mos ago

    OHHH. that's sneaky, cutting off the part where it tells you it's not a real quote. but nonetheless, very humorous.

  • notobsessed 1 yr 5 mos ago

    yeah that was a superficial joke, literally

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