Fur Wars: Kelis Strikes Back Against PETA
When PETA sends a letter to a celebrity about the (in)humane treatment of animals, they expect an apology and an immediate cease and desist of all fur-wearing and meat-eating activities. They did not expect Kelis.
After the animal rights organization sent her a letter insisting she stop flaunting the furs in her public personage, the Milkshakian melodist took to her MySpace and fired back a sharp and biting attack on the animal rights organization, which included:
"I would eat pterodactyl if you found some and you told me it was meaty and delicious."
"If I started wearing endangered animals like polar bear or orangutan then talk to me. [...] But the minks and chinchilla that quite honestly are rodents and if weren't in the form of a coat I would demand they be put to death anyway are not an issue to me."
"I eat meat, and in fact my mouth salivates as I type the word meat!"
"If u want to preach do it about something worthwhile don't waste my time trying to save the dang chipmunk. [...] Quite honestly if you hate the world so much go live in the forest where no one else has to hear you complain about the perfectly good food chain the good Lord created."
Hard to mistake Kelis' opinion on the matter.
To be even-handed to Kelis, the full text of her response clearly indicates her concern for national and global social and human rights issues; she just doesn't believe animals rights in the manner of PETA rises to the same level as these other issues.
How PETA Tames The Easily Tameable Hollywood Celebrity
Sure, there's the red paint tossers destroying fashionable stoles and wraps, but for the Hollywood "enlightened", the physical assaults pale in comparison the jabs to the politically correct reputation.
No celeb wants to be seen as dismissive or inattentive to the plight or suffering of anybody, or anything. Dashing one's furs (or meat eating) into the fire provides a public cleansing of the celebrity soul, like visiting the confessional after an evening of noteworthy debauchery.
If you don't genuflect before the PETA edict, you are subject to various and sundry acts of snippiness and snark.
PETA begins with its annual Worst Dressed Celebrity List that targets fur wearing fashionistas, and with some great success.
Jellyfish-spined like celebs have been turned into mindless, apologetic robots after seeing their names on this dreaded list. After making the list in 2005 and receiving numerous press release attacks from PETA, Paris Hilton agreed to view a series of revolting animals-being-tortured videos and surrendering her furs to the authorities.
Christina Ricci was so ashamed to be on the 2006 list, that she agreed to watch Martha Stewart-narrated slaughterhouse videos; PETA's own version of theatrical waterboarding. Ricci was so "corrected" by her educational experiences, she wrote the following letter to PETA:
"I never meant to hurt nor anger anyone with my insensitivity. For what it is worth I have received the message loud and clear and will not be wearing fur in the future. I apologize for my offensive actions."
Now there's the indie spirit we've come to know and love from Ricci.
Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie are but a couple others who bowed to the sharp-barbed-grade-school taunts of the ever-angry animal rights organization. (PETA repeatedly attacked Richie for being anorexic and trying to cover up her "skin and bones" with animal fur.)
For some celebrities, especially the D-listers, joining forces with PETA actually provides them a little bit of media recognition they might not otherwise get. PETA's "I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" has featured a number of junior league players showing off their wares.
Honestly, where else can an actress get a chance to flaunt her nude body for media attention and receive public commendation?
Some Celebrities Are Fighting Back
In addition to Kelis' latest stand, a few other brave, or clueless, or clueless and brave Tinsel Towners have refused to give up the real fur in spite of pressure from PETA.
Jessica Simpson seemed to be taking a carnivorous stand back in 2008 when she sported her "Real Girls Eat Meat" t-shirt to the football game of her then boyfriend, Tony Romo. PETA continues to attack Simpson regularly.
The Olsen Twins have been on PETA's hit-list for many years, and despite public taunts and biting remarks as to their apparent (non) eating disorders, the Twins responded by adding additional fur pieces to their fashion lines.
Kate Moss, of Kate Moss fame, has repeatedly ignored nasty comments from PETA about her personal life and continued to make public appearances with the pelts of nearly the entire zoological phylum wrapped around her body.
Kid Rock cites his love of all things huntin' and fur as a factor in the breakup of his marriage to PETA-supporting wife, Pam Anderson. He's dared PETA to come toss red-paint on his beloved fur coats.
Britney Spears has been a recurring target of PETA's wrath, though it seems they decided to mostly lay off her for a while as she journeyed into her own world of crazy and lost custody of her kids a couple years ago. (Though they came back to express outrage over the elephants in her "Circus" video.)
The Future of PETA's Battle versus Celebrities
People have been wearing furs since the first days man could walk upright. They were eating meat even before that. Contrary to scientific theory, celebrities are people.
We suspect that while PETA will continue to badger more and more celebrities into ditching their animal "cruelty", there will be an ever increasing backlash to the sanctimonious and sarcastic manner in which PETA peels off and attacks helpless celebrities.
Expect more Kelis-like letters in the future.
Tell us what you think. Has PETA gone too far or do the ends justify the means?