The Hills villains' new book, How to Be Famous: Our Guide to Looking the Part, Playing the Press and Becoming a Tabloid Fixture, hits bookstore shelves on November 16, and OK! Magazine has some excerpts from the tome for all you aspiring celebrities out there.

In his chapter "Playing the Villain," Pratt acknowledges that he might not have the most positive image:

“Given how the general public feels about me, the chances are that if you’re reading this right now, you can’t stand me. I get it. If I weren’t me, I’d HATE me.”

Montag, meanwhile, suggests that the work of a good plastic surgeon can hasten one's way to the limelight, and seemingly suggests that breast-augmentation surgery would be the most practical choice:

“There is no surgery you can get that will get you more instant attention, and you know why? Because people are ALREADY staring at your boobs!” 

The book's ten chapters also include step-by-step picture instructions on “How to Say ‘I Hate You’ Without Saying a Word."

Better clear space in your bookcase now...

Tell us in the comments section: Would you ever, under any circumstances, take advice from these two?