"I wore a supertight dress that you couldn't have worn anything under, since it would have showed," the gas-guzzling starlet tells the U.K. paper. "The paparazzi were literally lowering their cameras like speculums when I got out of the car."

Crikey! Thanks for the imagery, Kate.

"On the way home, I said to my husband, 'Darling, I think they might have gotten it.' And so when we pulled in [at home], I made him re-enact the thing with his camera—a sort of crime-scene run through. It appears I survived unscathed."

Made him re-enact the thing with his camera? Naughty!

This sounds like Kate wanting to jazz up things with her hubby in the bedroom.

So getting back to that part about the speculum...