Driven to her last nerve by the constant media attention on Longoria-Parker, castmate Felicity Huffman, 45, has stepped up to People and clarified Longoria's issue:

"She's just fat, that’s all there is to it!" huffed Huffman.

And Huffman, Eva might respond, can be forgiven for trying to divert focus to herself.

After all, she's old, and not very sexy, and married to a troll, and the most desperate among the increasingly Desperate Housewives.