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Hulk Hogan Misses Child-Molesting Wife

by Celebuzz on Aug. 4, 2008 12:00 PM / 3 Comments

Hulk Hogan told Access Hollywood that he wishes his marriage never ended.

“As crazy as that sounds to say, I wish I was still with my wife."

Hogan and ex-wife Linda Bollea split in November. Since then, they have been embroiled in a nasty divorce battle—rife with arguments over their assets and accusations of stalking.

Hulk insistss that their split wasn't designed to protect their assets from the family of John Graziano. John's parents filed a lawsuit after their son was permanently brain-damaged in a car accident caused by Hulk and Linda's son, Nick Hogan.

“If this is a ploy, [Linda] being intimate with a 19-year-old kid is pretty good acting," Hogan says. “For me to be able to handle… my 50-year-old wife sleeping in a bed with a 19-year-old boyfriend and using my gym, and driving my cars, and living in my house. I guess we’ve got a pretty good act going on ‘cause that’s a lot to take on."

Hulk should take heart. The kid sorta looks like him. That's a tribute, right?

Hulk isn't exactly pining away. He's dating a woman who looks disturbingly like his daugher and his ex-wife.

And his boy Nick's okay, too. He gets regular visits in jail from his mannish sister, Brooke.

Quotables /

“And I don't mean Valerie Harper's! I miss that family. It's where Jason Bateman really shined. Linda Hogan is claiming that her anabolic ex Hulk Hogan is stalking her trashy ass. Yeah and the son's currently getting stuffed like a Xmas turkey in jail and the daughter looks like what happens when that guy at work suddenly decides to get the change and wants you to call him "Brooke." They need to start over.

Linda, who is currently dating an 18-year-old from the School for the Blind, filed court documents on June 30 in an attempt to get Hulk Hogan off her ass. The documents claim that Hulk "relentlessly and methodically" follows her ass, "causing her anxiety and fear for her safety at all times." They also say that he's violent and could attack her.

"Linda Bollea's allegations are pure fantasy, in line with her recent 911 call that has been widely played in the media," Hulk's lawyer countered.

Keep in mind that Linda FOLLOWED Hulk while calling 911 claiming he was FOLLOWING HER. How the operator didn't laugh and hang up, I will never know.”

Socialite Life

“Smart thinking, Hulk. You can't have Linda, so you've moved on to her clone Brooke. Sure, her skin lacks the texture of beef jerky, but you didn't build the world's largest tanning bed for nothing. It may have taken years and they all laughed at you, but soon you'll be having burnt crispy sex faster than you can say "We're moving to Arkansas, brotha!"”

The Superficial

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Comments / 1-3 of 3

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Rock 1 yr 3 mos ago
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Linda has her grove back. Good for her she looks fabulous. Another thing he is not a child he is over 18 years old last time i checked that is adult age.
bawwow 1 yr 3 mos ago
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It's still pretty weird
hispanicatthedisco 1 yr 3 mos ago
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Poor Hulk; life just seems to keep dealing out Jokers to him.