Jessica Alba’s Shark-ing Vandalism Spree
Jessica Alba seems to be taking this do-gooder thing a little too far.
The Lost Ogle has published pictures purporting to show the Fantastic Four actress running around downtown Oklahoma City, plastering posters of great white sharks all over the place.
You know, because great white sharks are a pressing concern in land-locked Oklahoma City.
The postering campaign is supposedly intended to bring attention to the dwindling population of great whites in our world’s oceans. Although the posters don’t really make that point clear.
And there are probably more than a few people who wouldn’t consider it a bad thing if there were fewer of the fearsome predators in the sea. Such as this guy:
Have your say in the comments section: What do you think of Jessica Alba’s pro-shark campaign?
Did you know that shark attacks account for more deaths than war, poverty and lightning strikes combined?! It’s true.
Every year when I blow out my birthday candles, I wish for sharks to become extinct … hopefully a few more years and that will become a reality.
[quote=noah]Did you know that shark attacks account for more deaths than war, poverty and lightning strikes combined?! It’s true.
Every year when I blow out my birthday candles, I wish for sharks to become extinct … hopefully a few more years and that will become a reality.[/quote]
Even if you add car accidents, sharks still kill more people.
Are you f*cking kidding me???? Sharks kill approximately five people each year- SODAPOP MACHINES KILL MORE PEOPLE A YEAR THAN SHARKS DO.
You’re obviously all a bunch of idiots who don’t know anything, because those “facts” are a load of crap.
[quote=Sarah]Are you f*cking kidding me???? Sharks kill approximately five people each year- SODAPOP MACHINES KILL MORE PEOPLE A YEAR THAN SHARKS DO.
You’re obviously all a bunch of idiots who don’t know anything, because those “facts” are a load of crap.[/quote]
Obviously you have never seen the movie Jaws. That movie was based on a true story. 5 people were killed by only ONE shark in a time span of maybe a week. Multiply that by millions of sharks and 52 weeks and you have a total death count that is way more than those things mentioned above… and that was in 1975! Now with sea pollution and global warming sharks have been attacking even more so I would go as far as saying you could add smoking cigarettes into the mix and still wouldn’t come close to the number of deaths from sharks.
EFF YOU SHARKS!
whenever i go to the Soho Starbucks they say “shark week”… i dont get it…
[quote=Sarah]Are you f*cking kidding me???? Sharks kill approximately five people each year- SODAPOP MACHINES KILL MORE PEOPLE A YEAR THAN SHARKS DO. [/quote]
I don’t know where you get your information Sarah, but you’re obviously mistaken and the fact still remains: Sharks are god damn killing machines!
By the way, I’m convinced this “Sarah” character is really a great white shark who learned to use the internet.
I can’t tell if you shark haters are being facetious or not, but Sarah’s not wrong.
JasonKnows doesn’t know squat. The average worldwide yearly death total from sharks is just over 4. Four people in the entire world die each year from shark attacks. Twice that many people in my hometown died from car crashes just yesterday.
Peter Benchley, who wrote Jaws, later in life worked as a conservationist trying to convince people that it was just a story and sharks aren’t nearly as dangerous as all that. The story you’re thinking of that people say he based the story on happened in 1916 and was an extreme case. Tell me when you’ve heard another story like that since.
[quote=Jenna]I can’t tell if you shark haters are being facetious or not, but Sarah’s not wrong. JasonKnows doesn’t know squat … Tell me when you’ve heard another story like that since.[/quote]
HAHA, nice try! This “Jenna” chick is obviously a hammer-head shark with a keyboard. You’re not fooling anyone shark. Get off the internet and go back to the ocean where you can murder more innocent humans.
[quote=noah]
HAHA, nice try! This “Jenna” chick is obviously a hammer-head shark with a keyboard. You’re not fooling anyone shark. Get off the internet and go back to the ocean where you can murder more innocent humans.[/quote]
Are people really teaching sharks how to use computers?! At first I thought that was a little unbelievable but then I remembered how humans taught a rat to ride a cat that was riding a dog and how we taught a pig to talk or something so I decided to look it up and found it is true!! Just check out this article: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/privacy/ne ws/article.cfm?c_id=546&objectid=104 43226
I knew dolphins were smart but I didn’t know sharks were that smart too! That is scary.. I don’t want MY kids talking to sharks. They are probably all over craigslist too trying to lure people to sea world or something to eat them. I’m going to email someone at celebuzz to see if they can somehow block animals from leaving comments.
She’s not just plastering OKC with posters, she’s renting the electronic billboards and writing “Jessica Alba was here.” I was confused as hell when I saw that with a picture of a great white shark while driving home last night. They aren’t covering it in the local news.
jaws is true? hahahhaahaha….if you actually read the book a lot of it if from the SHARKS perspective – i dont think peter benchley was a shark whisperer – and if all of you shark haters on here cant read more than 1 page at a time, please rent the movie SHARKWATER.
[quote=christophool]I’m going to email someone at celebuzz to see if they can somehow block animals from leaving comments.[/quote]
Christophool, thank you for your email to Celebuzz headquarters regarding the possibility of blocking animals, specifically sharks, from leaving comments on our site.
I have talked with our engineering team and you’ll be happy to know that all sharks are now blocked from posting comments.
Unfortunately, we could not put an entire ban on “all animals” since that would be unfair. If you notice any other animals misbehaving on the site please alert us immediately and we will block their species as well ;)
[quote=Sarah]Sharks kill approximately five people each year- SODAPOP MACHINES KILL MORE PEOPLE A YEAR THAN SHARKS DO.[/quote]
“Sodapop machines” — WTF? This user is definitely a shark posing as a human. No human would use that word.
-1 Shark Point.
Stallown3d – she’s quoting the film Shane mentioned, Sharkwater. It was made by a Canadian. They say funny things up there.
You know at first I was going to give you all the benefit of the doubt and assume you were just misinformed and frightened. Now I realize you’re just idiots.
Wait.. you guys are all idiots. I’m pretty sure sharks ONLY attack surfers because they are attracted to a chemical in the coating on surfboards that make them float.
[quote=Jenna the Shark]Stallown3d – she’s quoting the film Shane mentioned, Sharkwater. It was made by a Canadian. They say funny things up there.
You know at first I was going to give you all the benefit of the doubt and assume you were just misinformed and frightened. Now I realize you’re just idiots.[/quote]
Are you really a shark?! Do you know what youtube is? You should make a video of you typing or something.
Sharks don’t like eating people, it is purely an accident if they bite one. Do the math: sharks live in cool water where their prey, seals, also live. California has cool water and many people surf there. If a surfer is wearing a slick, shiny, black wet-suit, the shark can easily mistake him or her for a seal. It will take one bite and spit the surfer back out. Sharks are not evil, nor do they eat humans every single day.
[quote=pickle333]Sharks don’t like eating people, it is purely an accident if they bite one… t will take one bite and spit the surfer back out. Sharks are not evil, nor do they eat humans every single day.[/quote]
Oh great, more pro-shark propaganda. I traced the IP address for “Pickle333″ and it would appear she/he is located just a few miles off the Great Barrier Reef… BUSTED!
This is blatantly another shark who is probably stealing a wireless connection from a passing cruise ship.
So not only are sharks murderers but now they are internet thiefs!
Sharks please go away! I’m sorry if you are mad that we have ships and submarines in the ocean.. I understand that is your home but we have children involved here on the internet. I am contacting celebuzz again.
[quote=christophool]Sharks please go away! I am contacting celebuzz again.[/quote]
Christophool, thank you again for contacting Celebuzz about “evil sharks” commenting on our stories. It turns out that the shark known as “Pickle333″ was using a former Soviet proxy-server to bypass our shark-detection system. We’ve updated our security protocol – hopefully that takes care of the shark infestation.
FYI – For future help, you only have to send one email per shark-commenting incident. While we value your enthusiasm, 43 emails over a 5 minute span is slight overkill.
just like all celebs, overpaid, stupid, ill-talented….
I think that what Jessica Alba is doing is great for the environment. Sharks are friendly, misunderstood “gentle giants” of the deep. Why, normally a shark would NEVER consider harming a human, it’s just that misunderstandings happen from time to time. Get to know a shark. Think of them as dolphins with a big smile.
You’d be lucky to even see any of my fellow sharks these days. In waters where we regulalry dive, years ago we used to watch the hammerheads schooling in the hundreds, now your lucky if you see one…. Some people really don’t have a clue whats happening in our oceans.
Take out the top predator and the balance of the oceans will shift and a catastrphic failure of the food chain follows. The over fishing is driving us closer in shore looking for food, I wish I could bite a few of the scum who hunt us down for sport or our fins..
You’re a 1000 times more likely to be killed by a home appliance than a Shark!
Jessica Alba has done what she set out to do, raise awareness. You go girl! I’ve still got her autograph when we filmed into the blue together!
Seriously though, leave us alone folks, we’ve been around a lot longer than you and just want to be left alone. The thought of taking a bite out of one of you boney skin sacks frankly wants to make me hurl! Although I was tempted to take a nibble of Jessicas bottom…..
Love Whitey!
P.S. I won’t be able to respond to this email as I have a few japanese fishermans arms I’m going to bite off, lob them back in the water and see how they like it!
Good for Jessica!! :)
These postings are unbelievable. I was laughing at some of these postings thinking people were funny until I realized they were serious. To the person (Jasonknows) who posted the think about a shark killing five people in one week therefor it is reasonable to assume that ALL sharks kill five people a week: you should change your name from Jasonknows to Jasonknowsbullsh*t. How stupid can you be? By your logic, if one idiot guy named Jason decided he would rather drink beer and be an dumbass than simply google shark attacks to get some facts, that obviously means that ALL guys named Jason drink beer and sit around being idiots, right? 5 times a week fool. Hey I know a guy named Jason who never gets laid. That means you don’t get laid either cause your name is Jason, right?