sightings

John Mayer's Moment of Clarity

by celebuzz on Jun. 6, 2008 04:22 PM / 6 Comments

Has crooning heartthrob and surrealist blogger John Mayer finally come to his senses regarding his relationship with Jennifer Aniston?

The singer was spotted doing his own version of a shameful perp walk in West Hollywood yesterday, holding a backpack in front of his face to avoid the cameras.

The shy-guy pose was in stark contrast to Mayer's recent outings with Aniston, when he actually seemed happy to be seen.

This time, he probably didn't want the paps to see him crying, after he came to the realization that he's entangled with a needy cling-on and that he has unwittingly signed on for being in regular contact with David Arquette.

Maybe his new buddy Pete Wentz talked some sense into him. If anyone's likely to have developed a keen understanding of the downside of relationships recently, it's Pete.

Just make sure you pull the backpack away from your face when you inevitably peel out in your wicked-hot sportscar in a mad dash to get away from Los Angeles and your lamentable relationship choice, John.

We don't want to have to be posting about any tragic accidents. As hard as it may be to grasp at the moment, there are some things worse than dating Jen Aniston.

Quotables /

“He doesn't want you to know that he spent the evening at Jennifer Aniston's house, begging her to indulge his sissy schoolgirl transformation fantasy. Look, I only call it as I see it. You know he's got knee-high socks and a plaid miniskirt in his closet. And Jenn isn't the one he wants wearing them.

And when John isn't being an insufferable douche, he's wrecking everyone's favorite video game. He was recently asked for his opinion about Guitar Hero. I know several hundred thousand people who have spent countless hour enraptured by that game. And John just pissed all over it! Those people have wasted valuable time for nothing! They could have gone to work!

"I don't ever want to be the kind of guy who rails against whatever progress has taken place. But Guitar Hero was devised to bring the guitar-playing experience to the masses without them having to put anything into it. And having done both, there's nothing like really playing guitar. I mean, what would you rather drive, a Ferrari or one of those amusement-park cars on a track?"

All those people who have slaved away unlocking song after song, and ignoring everything but that damn plastic guitar are quite happy with "amusement-park cars on a track", John! Damn you!”

Socialite Life

“It kind of looks like John Mayer's backpack is trying to eat his head. We spotted the singer returning to his Beverly Hills home yesterday, but apparently he wasn't feeling the pap as he tried to hide behind his gear. Why so shy John, did Pete give you a lil love bite on your neck???”

“Oh goody! It's our favorite Goonie, John Mayer, hiding his mug behind a backpack.

To make his unrecognizableness (real word, now) complete, we suggest he purchase a fanny pack to conceal his arm tattoos (in large part because we think that if anyone is capable of bringing back the fanny pack, it's John Mayer. You're welcome. Hooray improper use of parentheticals!).

Looks like a few more photogs showed up to personal trainer Harley Pasternak's place since we exclusively spotted John there.

As John made his way home through the clusterfudge of photogs, Harley and his assistant had a little chat with the coppers. Turns out his neighbors have been making complaints to the police.

Maybe John will have to start jogging elsewhere. And perhaps he should. After all, isn't it creepy for an adult man to run laps around a playground full of kids? (zing! ...or not.)”

Next Story / Kristin Cavallari Gets Parking Ticket...and Photo Op

Also In Sightings /

Comments / 1-6 of 6

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pictureperfect 1 yr 5 mos ago
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I would rather just walk through like a normal person. It's not like they don't know what you look like. This just looks stupid.
flirtyfabulous 1 yr 5 mos ago
Reply

Wait... did something happen between him and Jen?
rforrumor 1 yr 5 mos ago
Reply

no.. he was just feeling ugly that day.
mcdreamyisme 1 yr 5 mos ago
Reply

i wonder what's in the backpack. it doesn't look very heavy.
fashionvixen 1 yr 5 mos ago
Reply

How can you tell if it's him anyway?
amymarissa 1 yr 5 mos ago
Reply

Does anyone else find it strange that he and Pete Wentz are hanging out lately...like, alot?