sightings

Kelly Osbourne Is Your Batty Old Aunt

by Michael P on Jun. 24, 2008 11:08 AM / 3 Comments

Here's Kelly Osbourne dressed like she's about to call the schoolhouse to order in 1956.

For someone who hosts Britain's version of Project Runway (Project Catwalk), you would think she'd be able to avoid this level of visual disaster. Kelly needs to start polling the contestants before she opens her walk-in closet.

Recently praised for dropping a couple of stones in weight, Kelly may be hiding a return to form under that voluminous coat.

If she's going to cover up, why not keep going and cloak the ghastly hammer toes?

Maybe Kelly's at the front of some trend in which impressionable fashion victims try and emulate as closely as possible the woman running the school intercom in Grease.

Quotables /

“Mystery solved, now we know what what Kelly Osbourne has been doing to control her weight at a happy medium plump.

I can just imagine what she says at home when it's dinnertime: "No fattening bats for me tonight, Daddy, I'm going to boil my toes. And get this, no seasoning required, they're already salted!"

Oookay, I just grossed myself out.

We spotted Kelly as she was leaving Radio One Studios in London on Sunday, dressed in hot pink from her head (note odd hair band) to her exposed knees. You thought I was going to say her scrumptious toes, didn't you!?”

“What's wrong with this picture?

Yeah, you guessed it: To distract us from her rotten undertaking, Kelly Osbourne flashes an uncharacteristically cheesy grin while she promotes the Glastonbury music festival from a city farm in London on Thursday.

Little does the outside world realize she is, in fact, feeding that innocent little lamb (drumroll)... her crunched up Ritalin prescription. It was mixed in with some oats and ivy, of course.

After sniffing up a line of her own devious concoction, Osbourne was seen frolicking with and talking to the cracked out, mouth-foamed lamb.”

“Is it just me, or is Kelly Osbourne looking really good these days? We spotted the radio show host outside of the Metropolitan Hotel in London today with slicked down hair and a dark blue dress. I don't know if she's laying off the booze or is hitting up the gym, but whatever she's doing is working for her. Then again, maybe it has something to do with who she's doing! Perhaps her new (younger?) man is adding to her healthy glow.”

“Kelly Osbourne shows off her pearly whites at the Perfume Shop LK Today High Street Fashion Awards held at Cafe De Paris Press Room in London, England on Monday.

Kel, 23, was recently seen stumbling out of the Mahiki nightclub, a favorite of Prince William and Prince Harry. She was there to catch the indie legend, Lightspeed Champion.”

Just Jared

“Damn girl! You look waaaaaaasted. Kelly Osbourne was spotted stumbling out of London hot spot Mahiki last night. The radio star (who hosts an advice show for teens!) looked like she had one too many as she could barely stand up and her assistant had to help her into a cab. My guess is that she is nursing an intense hang over right now...hope you had a massive breakfast and tank of Gatorade awaiting you this morning!”

Next Story / Michael Jackson Didn't Rape Me, Says Corey Feldman

Also In Sightings /

Comments / 1-3 of 3

Sort Oldest First

hwoodgrrl 1 yr 5 mos ago
Reply

i want her hat!! :)
mraniston 1 yr 5 mos ago
Reply

looking good kel
bawwow 1 yr 5 mos ago
Reply

I dont know whats worse...the glasses, the hair thing, the dress....her.....all of it