First MTV hires Russell Brand to host this September’s Video Music Awards, and now the network is trying to wrap a muzzle around his loose-cannon mouth.

Actually, they’ve only banned him from saying two words on air, according to a Brand interview in the Daily Mirror.

“I’ve been warned when I’m presenting there are two things I am never allowed to say. One—c***. And two—Scientology.”

Well, that shouldn’t be a problem, right?

“I have a problem when people tell me not to do something. When I was going to meet the Queen the protocol people told me how to bow, not to curtsy, not to speak until I was spoken to. But all I could think of was, ‘Grab her t***!”

Those classy Brits. Imagine what Russell will be thinking when Britney Spears shows up. 

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