jurisprudence

Naomi Campbell Admits She's Looney Tunes

by celebuzz on Jun. 20, 2008 10:40 AM / 5 Comments

Raging supermodel Naomi Campbell pled guilty to six offenses in a London court yesterday stemming from the April incident in which she attacked police officers at Heathrow Airport, according to the Telegraph.

Naomi threw the April fit because one of her bags (presumably the one with her psychiatric medication) was lost. She reportedly spat on police and yelled race-based obscenities as she was escorted away.

Naomi's lawyer Simon Nicholls said that Nay-Nay—who is working on her trust issues—was "bitterly disappointed" to be charged.

"She feels what happened was regrettable and she has come to court today to put her side of the story," her spokesvictim Alan Edwards said before the proceedings.

In an ironic turn, the balding supermodel hid her face from cameras as she arrived in court. That kind of photoshoot doesn't pay.

UPDATE:

The New York Post reports that a British court has sentenced Naomi Campbell to 200 hours of community service for her Heathrow rampage.

To get jail time, the notorious spitter and hitter would have to actually kill someone, and not just anyone. Probably smashing a small child's head against a wall until dead would earn Naomi six months in jail. Although that sentence might be shortened due to extenuating circumstances. Such as if the small child had laughed mildly while on an airplane with Naomi.

Quotables /

“Oh, the plight of old age. You lose your hair, your dignity, even your memory.

Such is the case for Naomi Campbell, who stepped out of the trendy Cipriani restaurant in London yesterday. And then stepped back in. And then stepped out again.

Not sure whether she's being afflicted by Alzheimers, Dementia, or some other mental illness, but it could also be cancer, because homegirl showed signs of the chemo. Hair loss!

The supermodel, who is currently getting f*cked up the ass in court for 'racially and sexually abusing' her housekeeper (no, not the one she threw her phone at), debuted a pretty receding hairline last night.

Do you suppose it was her hair stylist's payback-with-a-curling-iron after getting slapped around for ten years?”

Pacific Coast News

“I don't know what's causing Naomi Campbell to go bald (Years of weaves? Bad tracks? Post-traumatic blackberry rage induced stress? Genetics?) but she might want to get that checked out or she's going end up looking like "skullet" rocking metal maniacal scientist Devin Townsend, the mastermind behind "Strapping Young Lad," "Ocean Machine," "The Devin Townsend Band" and Ziltoid! The Omniscient.”

Splash News Online

“You know what’d be a fun game? Print out that pic and then try to get Naomi to autograph it. If you’re not killed, you win. I’d recommend Naomi take Propecia but it specifically says on the label that the drug is not recommended for chicks who might possibly be satan.

NOTE: If Naomi ever makes it to heaven, twenty bucks she throws a cell phone at God.”

Celebslam

Tell Us / Does Naomi deserve to be charged?

Next Story / Brody Jenner Banned

Also In Jurisprudence /

Comments / 1-5 of 5

Sort Oldest First

drama4mama 1 yr 5 mos ago
Reply

Is she gonna be sentenced to jail? That would be awesome!
katie999 1 yr 5 mos ago
Reply

"NOTE: If Naomi ever makes it to heaven, twenty bucks she throws a cell phone at God."

LOL
mraniston 1 yr 5 mos ago
Reply

she sucks- throw her in the slammer!
hwoodgrrl 1 yr 5 mos ago
Reply

rehab?
bawwow 1 yr 5 mos ago
Reply

i would hate to do 200 hours of community service dude