Naomi Campbell: Five Signs She’s not a Vampire

Jul 28, 2008 at 5:50am
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Couples

Yes, Naomi Campbell is obviously some kind of monster. But exhaustive research indicates that she’s not a vampire.

Consider:

  • Here she is in the direct St. Tropez sunlight with her boyfriend, Brazilian entrepreneur Marcus Elias, and she hasn’t crumbled into a pile of dust.
  • Unlike vampires, who can transform themselves into winged bats, Campbell has quite a bit of difficulty flying.
  • Her smile, questionably authentic as it may be, doesn’t reveal any fangs.
  • Vampires can’t see their own reflections. Is there any question that Campbell spends hours a day gazing at her own reflection?
  • By drinking the blood of their victims, vampires maintain eternal life. Though she’s only 38 years old, Campbell shows definite signs of deterioration—such as losing her hair.
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