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Naomi Campbell: Five Signs She's not a Vampire

by Celebuzz on Jul. 25, 2008 06:20 PM / Leave a Comment
Naomi Campbell: Five Signs She's not a Vampire
INFDaily

Yes, Naomi Campbell is obviously some kind of monster. But exhaustive research indicates that she's not a vampire.

Consider:

  • Here she is in the direct St. Tropez sunlight with her boyfriend, Brazilian entrepreneur Marcus Elias, and she hasn't crumbled into a pile of dust.
  • Unlike vampires, who can transform themselves into winged bats, Campbell has quite a bit of difficulty flying.
  • Her smile, questionably authentic as it may be, doesn't reveal any fangs.
  • Vampires can't see their own reflections. Is there any question that Campbell spends hours a day gazing at her own reflection?
  • By drinking the blood of their victims, vampires maintain eternal life. Though she's only 38 years old, Campbell shows definite signs of deterioration—such as losing her hair.
Quotables /
“Dear Naomi Campbell,

We realize we haven't always been the nicest to you. (But, to be fair, you haven't always been the nicest to anyone.)

That said, it is grand to see you so happy, out on yet another sun-soaked vacation with current flame Marcus Elias.

Because you're a supermodel, and constantly photographed (you're welcome), we suspect you don't oft' wear things twice. Bearing that in mind: Instead of discarding it tomorrow (as we suspect you will), please please oh pretty please with a cherry on top can we have that dress? It's just spectacular and feeds our insatiable teal-craving.

Think about it.

Thank you and good day,

- G is for Gossip


P.S. We would have offered to fight you for it, but we thinks that would have gone poorly for us.”
Next Story / Nicole Richie's Hooked on Short-Shorts

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