American Horror Story: Asylum came to an end with an episode more focused on stylization and speeding through each main character’s journey than shock value. Though the tonal shift could have been jarring, somehow it ended up feeling surprisingly comforting instead.

And maybe I’m a bit biased, but it was also a really nice note to see the good guys win for once!

But let’s be honest: even when wrapping things up, there were still some crazy moments. After a season of Nazis, human experiments, alien abductions, shock treatments, a serial killer wearing a mask of human skin, and devil possession, I wouldn’t have expected (or wanted) anything less.

Note: Spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen Wednesday’s episode, “Madness Ends.”

Here are five moments from the episode that had me going, WTF?!

1. Lana (Sarah Paulson) was able to produce a Briarcliff expose simply by walking back in through the tunnels. The state of disrepair the actual facility was in was uninhabitable. The state of neglect the patients and inmates were left in was even worse. But the fact that anybody could waltz in off the street — with a big broadcast camera, two crew guys, and microphones — should have meant that anyone could have wandered out, too. That was as worrisome as the state in which those patients and inmates were found.

2. And while on the topic of Lana, can we talk about how well she aged!? I’m going to be honest, I kind of thought Johnny (Dylan McDermott) would go looking for his mother in modern day, only to learn she had passed away a few years earlier. I thought the denial of closure was what set him off on his killing of other people. But no, there Lana was in 2012, fabulous and fit as ever, finally living an out and proud and celebrated life as a pioneer in journalism. The prosthetic work and Barbara Walters wig was jarring simply because it looked so real, it was like looking into Paulson’s own future. Of course, what really mattered was that in addition to Lana’s physical strength, she also proved the same “tough but not a cookie” personality from her heyday.

3. Monsignor Timothy (Joseph Fiennes) went out Rita Morgan style. There were a lot of evils at play in AHS: Asylum, from an actual devil to an oppressive society, but one’s own Catholic guilt came into play on the finale when the Monsignor was finally caught and confronted with just how much he covered up during his tenure at Briarcliff. He couldn’t handle Lana exposing his involvement in Dr. Arden’s (James Cromwell) experiments to the world, and he killed himself in the bathtub, his arms hanging over the sides like his body was its own cross.

4. Kit’s children could heal– but not everyone. The fact that Kit’s children were gestated in an alien spaceship said a lot about their importance, and the way they calmed Jude (Jessica Lange) down and brought her back from the brink of psychosis certainly fit into that “special” category. However, when their father developed cancer, they could not help him. Though Lana shared they went onto “greatness,” like Thomas becoming a lawyer, really, that is greatness with human limitations. Call me crazy, but I expected — after all the trouble the aliens went through to create these children– that they, and ultimately Kit, would serve more of the story.

5. Lana came clean about her son with Bloody Face surviving childbirth. It seemed a bit opportune (and self-serving) that after years of protecting a secret as big as the fact that her baby with a notorious serial killer was actually given up for adoption, Lana would randomly let the truth spill out during an interview with a journalist she didn’t seem to hold in as high regard as herself. The fact that the cameras were rolling when she did seemed equally calculating. There’d always be a record of the story the way she wanted to tell it if things went wrong with Johnny. But she always had a plan, and from the minute she heard her son was violent and potentially gunning (no pun intended) for her, she formulated one that used the media to spread her message yet again. I really shouldn’t have been surprised by this, but I guess I just expected that to be some kind of shame she wanted to take to the grave. Even if she acknowledged Johnny to his face to appease him, it was a surprise to see her first share so much intimacy with the cameras.

Buzz Moments

OMG!: You really can find anything on eBay. Somehow that’s where Johnny got a hold of the old recording his mother made, telling his father about her planned abortion. And I assume that’s where he got the creepy skin mask that mimicked the one his father wore, too.

Thank you, TV gods.: It was just so poetic that Lana would take out her son the same way she did his father.

Awk-ward: Kit certainly proved himself to be more forward-thinking than most time and again in this series, and bringing Jude into his home, even after all she had done to him and the women he loved, fit that assessment perfectly. But it was still kind of weird for me (and how could it not be so for Kit and his kids, too?) to see her enter their home as a new maternal figure.

Hotness: The 70s were a good decade for Kit Walker. The darker hair, the free-flowing hippie clothes, the authority of fatherhood — all of these things added up to a more mature, confident, attractive man.

Fab-u-lous: Lana’s white dress at Kit’s wedding made it look like she was the one getting married, but she looked so beautiful — and for once unencumbered — it was the perfect thing for her.

Can. Not. Wait.: What kind of characters will Paulson, Jange, and Peters play on Season 3?

Celebuzz Meter (1-10): 8 — While it was great to see Lana survive (and take out her son to boot), the episode was too talky and expositionally explanatory for a season that had made itself known for crazy twists and turns and shocking images.

What did you think of the finale of AHS: Asylum, and are you already excited for Season 3? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below!

– Danielle Turchiano

The last we left Lana (Sarah Paulson) on Ryan Murphy‘s American Horror Story: Asylum, she had lost a little bit of her way. Or so it seemed. The strong, fearless, independent journalist who stepped into Briarcliff to expose its conditions and the criminals it was thought to house initially suddenly veered off. Consumed by fame, and probably a bit of anger, she spun the truth and ignored promises.

Lana was always driven, cunning, and focused, though. She had a plan, and though she was forced to deviate it from a bit, her intelligence was always the biggest in the room, and so was her ambition. Lana’s desire to expose Briarcliff will therefore come back in a big way for the series finale episode, “Madness Ends,” which sees Lana returning to the asylum once more — this time with a camera crew.

“That’s one of the first things when I and the writers landed on the idea of Asylum — that period of time, those documentaries that were made — there was a very famous documentary that Geraldo Riveramade in that time period, and this is a loose homage of that,” Murphy said of the finale that showcases Lana’s “most controversial” work.

“Also there was a brilliant movie that we were inspired by for this last episode, this brilliant documentary called Cropsey, that was also about the unraveling healthcare system in our country and how so many people were dumped there and left to rot there. All those abuses that you see, we studied pictures of, and we recreated. We did a lot of research. But that was our jumping off point. In the beginning of the series, we knew we were going to have that character going there, becoming a prisoner…and then go back to tear the joint down.”

Murphy acknowledged some of the anger fans felt after seeing Lana give up her quest for justice in a quest for fame, but he noted that was a story point designed to be a “meditation on fame” that would not be indicative of Lana’s end.

“I know a lot of people were very furious with Lana after [“Continuum”] because they felt she left all those people to rot,” Murphy said.

“Even after everything that Sister Jude has done, [Lana] does sort of go back to get her, and she does succeed in closing down the place. I thought it was very heroic.”

American Horror Story: Asylum started as a mixture of a handful of horror elements that “shouldn’t go together,” but Murphy said he always designed the show to focus on three key characters: Paulson’s Lana, Jessica Lange‘s Sister Jude, and Evan Peters‘ Kit Walker. The three of them will each have their respective stories wrap up, but not without further overlapping first.

The finale episode jumps back and forth in time to show how the Briarcliff chapter closed for good, if the aliens ever came back for Kit, and just how big Johnny’s (Dylan McDermott) bite is, compared to his bark. He has certainly hurt a lot of people, but will he be able to actually kill his own mother, if he comes face to face with her at all? All of those answers are coming, though Murphy shared that he wanted to keep one particular arc somewhat open-ended and left to interpretation.

“I was always…fascinated [by] stories of people who had claimed to be abducted and were on the ships. Did that happen? I don’t know. But I’m fascinated that those stories came out right around the time of the Civil Rights era and the timing of that. To me, that’s what that was about, but I never even like to talk about that story because I like that that’s the one story where everyone can come to their own conclusion [of] where do they come from and why,” Murphy said.

“I think Jude got a very great, happy ending, and I think Jessica felt that. And I think Kit got a very strange, happy ending…Sarah Paulson had so many dark days, but she loved it, and she was actually weepy when the show ended because she said ‘I’ve never had a character who’s had a beginning, middle, and end like that’.”

But which characters will physically survive? Well, you’ll just have to tune in to find out!

American Horror Story: Asylum airs Wednesdays at 10PM on FX.

How do you hope things wrap up for Lana, Kit, Jude, and the rest? Let us know in the comments below!

– Danielle Turchiano

American Horror Story: Asylum has yet to air its finale, but already creator Ryan Murphy is preparing to sit down with the writers to begin fleshing out the third season.

But before he clues his staff into his plans, he had to run the idea by one very special woman who has stood by him since the beginning of this anthology drama experiment of sorts on FX: his series star Jessica Lange.

“She’s sort of become an uncredited producer for Season 3,” Murphy said during a special Q&A in Los Angeles, Calif.

“I come up with the story, and obviously it’s always now crafted around Jessica for the most part. Before I talk to anybody, I tell her what the story is, and I tell her what the character is, and she has input.”

A key factor, then, for Season 3 is that both Murphy and Lange agreed to go a bit lighter in tone for her character specifically. Murphy shared that after becoming a new dad, “that’s just the kind of place” he was in right now. He also reiterated just how important it is that his actors tackle very different types of characters. And coming off AHS: Asylum, Lange has been through the wringer and is ready for a change more than most.

“I think it was really about something cultural and social, but it was very dark, and it was very unrelenting, and it was by design, and I think you’ll see a different tone in Season 3, but I think that’s the joy of the show,” Murphy said.

“I want to do something next season that’s funnier. I really miss that kind of Jessica Lange as Constance, that stuff — and I know she missed it, too… It is a mixture of several cities, and it’s really about female power… She’s going to play a really glamour cat sort of lady.”

Murphy noted that his other AHS: Asylum stars Sarah Paulson and Evan Peters would be back on the third season, as well. Though Murphy knows who Paulson will be playing, he admitted she doesn’t know — and so he didn’t want to spill the beans just yet. Additionally, Peters had come to him before AHS: Asylum and asked not to have to “sob” every week again, so Murphy joked that an emotionally wrecked “psychopath” is probably what Peters should play next season. After all, he had thirteen episodes in between to play a more buttoned-up character!

In addition to Paulson and Peters, Murphy shared that “for Season 3, we are going to have some actors from Season 1 return,” but was equally reluctant to say specifically who until the deals closed.

What he did add to the multiple cities note was that he would once again be playing with jumping through time as he has in the first two seasons, but the majority of the story would take place in “modern day.”

“I always start off with the story. I always start off with things that I have been obsessed with, and the season we’re about to do is another sort of thing, like the asylum, that I was always obsessed with as a kid… What Season 3 is about is more historical in nature,” Murphy said, adding that he is also playing with an element of “horror-romance” not unlike the “star-crossed lovers” aspect of Romeo & Juliet or even Peters and Taissa Farmiga‘s roles on Season 1.

But perhaps the most interesting thing to note? Like Bloody Face before it, Season 3 would have a horror icon element. And this time? It’s a woman!

UPDATE: Murphy confirmed on Twitter that Rabe will be returning for next season.

American Horror Story: Asylum airs Wednesdays at 10 PM.

Are you intrigued enough to want to tune into a third season of American Horror Story? Let us know your early thoughts in the comments below!

– Danielle Turchiano

FX’s American Horror Story: Asylum faked out Lana (Sarah Paulson) last week when she returned to Briarcliff to spring Sister Jude (Jessica Lange), only for the Monsignor (Joseph Fiennes) to tell her Sister Jude was sadly no longer alive.

But if he thought that would deter Lana in her mission against the institution, well, sadly, he turned out to be right. A death certificate can be enough when you want to focus on your own career’s rise.

Of course, Sister Jude was actually still alive — just in even more danger than before, thanks to a “deadly new inmate” on Wednesday’s episode of AHS: Asylum, ”Continuum.”

Additionally, Kit (Evan Peters) and Grace (Lizzie Brochere) brought their alien-assisted baby back to his house — only to find his not-so-dead-either wife and their alien-assisted baby already waiting in the home for daddy dearest to return. With only two hours of the series left, how much crazier could things get?

Note: Spoilers ahead if you have yet to see Wednesday night’s episode, “Continuum.”

Here are five moments from the episode that had me going, WTF?!

1. Grace hopes the aliens will come for the children but it is Alma (Britne Oldford) who goes insane. “Continuum” fast-forwarded to 1967 to see Kit and his now two wives and two children all living together in this house. Polygamy wasn’t legal, but somehow his empathy toward both women and what they had been through was sweet enough not to be bothered by the whole “sharing” aspect. Instead, what drove Alma to snap and take on Grace’s own axe-murderer tendencies was Grace’s insistence on reliving the alien abduction experience, deeming it one of religion and eagerly anticipating their return and future plans for this family. Alma’s violence against Grace came out of nowhere without even the excuse of living through Briarcliff to understand her new darkness and damage. I guess alien probes really are scarring!

2. The once-strong Sister Jude loses years, memories, and her name. Another fast-forward, this time to 1968 when Briarcliff was being donated to the state and used as an “overflow” facility for the prison system, saw Jude living outside of solitary confinement but as “Betty Drake”– you know, since the Monsignor faked her death and all. Just when she seemed to have her sanity– and her snark! — back, though, in walked an inmate who looked exactly like the Angel of Death (Frances Conroy), leaving Jude to freak out about “not calling for her” and “not being ready yet.” So many years within Briarcliff’s walls has a way of making one question, and just as soon lose one’s sanity. Her mind began playing tricks on her that led her into a deeper descent into madness, causing her to think it was still mere days after a particularly hopeful talk with the Monsignor, even though it was actually years later. Then again, maybe that talk with the Monsignor was all only in her mind, too. She was clearly desperate to see and believe only what she wanted.

3. Lana writes her own version of truth, creates a new “Maniac.” It appeared there can’t even be one genuine hero (or heroine) in AHS: Asylum, as even Lana was susceptible to a kind of corruption coming from having too much power. She spun a mixture of fact and fiction in her book about her experiences with Bloody Face (Zachary Quinto), embellishing to make herself look even more sympathetic and him like even more of a monster. Personally, I didn’t think any embellishment was needed at all for that result, but she was also aiming for fame and Best Seller status, and this was the way to do it. Sadly, such a narrow focus (only on herself, not justice for those in Briarcliff) degradated her character and added a touch of Oliver’s own evil influence into her.

4. Alma ends up in Briarcliff. Call me naive, but even after she killed Grace in cold-blood, I assumed Kit would never let her be taken there. Taken away, sure, but he knew, better than almost anyone, just how terrible Briarcliff was. It was a miracle he got out– both alive, and mentally and emotionally unscathed. He should have known it would destroy her. She had already been through so much.

5. Bloody Face Junior exhibits some humanity. You’re the son of a notorious serial killer who clearly grew up with deep resentment and anger issues for the man you never got to know and the woman who “threw you away” like garbage. You have a plan to meet this woman, confront her with her lies, and kill her. Whether or not the aggression and penchant for violence within you is genetic, passed down from said father, or “nurtured” through years of stewing without any close, emotional attachment– or even some combination of the two– is irrelevant. You’re primed to be a killer. Yet, you have a feeble, elderly woman in front of you denying you the thing you want, and you offer her money and tell her your life’s story instead of just killing her, taking the book, and moving on? Something was very, very off here.

Buzz Moments

OMG!: It was obvious Dr. Thredson wasn’t actually standing up in the book signing, objecting to Lana taking creative liberty with his life’s story, but it was still jarring to see him again after he so brutally met his (deserved) demise in the previous episode.

Thank you, TV gods: Another TV show with a possibly tie-in book. I would like to plead a case for Ryan Murphy to actually release “Maniac” in stores. He’s not too busy to whip up 300 pages or so from Lana’s point of view, right?

Awk-ward: Alma was Kit’s first love and first choice of wife. Seeing her not only welcome the “other woman” into her home but encourage Kit to be with her when she knew she was hurting? It did not feel like a selfless good deed but just plain uncomfortable. Especially since the walls were thin enough to hear everything.

Hotness: Dylan McDermott is playing a stone-cold crazy man, but damn if he doesn’t look good doing it, mullet or not!

Fab-u-lous: The shot showing the jump in time when Kit pulled away from the bookstore, revealing Johnny lying in wait, so to speak, may have been confusing for some, but it was cinematic and perfect for me.

Can. Not. Wait.: Will AHS: Asylum get to redeem Lana before the end, showing her obsession with fame as only a momentary lapse?

Celebuzz Meter (1-10): 8

What did you think of “Continuum” and how do you now expect AHS: Asylum to end? Let us know your thoughts and theories in the comments below!

– Danielle Turchiano

American Horror Story: Asylum kicked off 2013 with a shock ending no one saw coming.

After the last episode’s numerous cliffhangers — Bloody Face’s baby, alien spawn, the Monsignor’s (Joseph Fiennes) possible death, Sister Jude’s (Jessica Lange) involuntary commitment, etc. – there were a lot of loose ends that needed to be tied up. And Ryan Murphy and Co. did so the only way they know how: death, electroshock therapy and a musical number! No, seriously. It was like Glee meets Asylum. If Lange didn’t already have the Emmy in the bag, she certainly does now. Her 60s-fabulous version of “The Name Game” — a.k.a. “The (Lana) Banana Song” — was particularly weird and memorable.

Not to mention, Briarcliff claimed three more lives by the end of this week’s episode. Yeah, “The Name Game” was definitely one of the season’s more eventful episodes.

Note: Spoilers if you haven’t watched Wednesday’s episode, “The Name Game.”

1. The Devil (and Sister Mary Eunice) bit the dust.

After ruining everyone’s lives — and deflowering the Monsignor — Sister Satan (Lilly Rabe) finally got what she deserved. And what a rough way to go! Unfortunately, that means poor Sister Mary Eunice had to bite the dust too.

Just when you think Monsignor Howard couldn’t be more defenseless against the Devil, he proved he’s a force to be reckoned with. I guess almost being crucified is a game-changer. For a moment, the real Sister Mary came to and told the Monsignor she’s tired of fighting the Devil. So, to save her last shred of innocence, the Monsignor chucks her over the floor railing. As she falls to her death, Sister Mary is finally at peace.

2. Dr. Arden’s final act. 

Sister Mary Eunice wasn’t the only casualty of the night. Struck with grief over losing his pure and innocent angel to the Devil’s advances, Dr. Arden (James Cromwell) tries to kill himself in the forest — but not before killing every one of his horrifically modified human creatures. However, Sister Satan won’t allow him such relief. Bored with his theatrics, Sister Satan calls him pitiful and walks away.

After Sister Mary Eunice’s “death,” the Monsignor insists on a proper burial, but due to her possession Arden claims that the best option would be to cremate her, which he willingly takes on himself. While in the crematory, Arden strokes her hair and sobs, as he climbs onto the tray with her corpse incarcerating himself in the crematory, slowly — and painfully — killing him.

For a Nazi war criminal, I think it was a fitting end.

3. Grace gives birth — and Pepper is the most kick-ass midwife ever.

Pepper (Naomi Grossman) is back with a vengeance! After Arden discovers Grace (Lizzie Brocheré) alive and pregnant, he plans to do a few harmfull experiments.

However, Pepper has been placed in charge of Grace’s protection — by the aliens, of course — and there’s no way she’s going to let Arden touch this baby. When he insults her mental ability, Pepper claims she was falsely accused with murdering and mutilating her niece. In fact, it was her brother-in-law who placed the blame on her, the east-to-blame microcephalic. At this point, it’s clear the alens have significantly augmented her intelligence — and I love it. Pepper even managed to deliver Grace and Kit’s (Evan Peters) baby safe and sound.

4. Sister Judy loses her mind (no, seriously).

After Sister Satan finds a cucumber in Sister Jude’s room (or did she plant the vegetable in Jude’s room herself?) she and Arden use electroshock therapy to get defiant Judy back to her senses. However, Sister Satan gives her a particularly brain-frying dose of electroshock. And to demonstrate just how dazed and confused Judy really is, there’s a musical number!

Jude hallucinates she and the rest of the Briarcliff residents sing and dance along to “The Name Game.” And if that little musical break didn’t convince you that Sister Jude’s brain was thoroughly fried, her nonsensical ramblings to Mother Superior did the trick. Some things we true, while others were completely wacko.

However, she did end her (Emmy-winning) insane monologue with one clear request to Mother Superior: Get Lana Winters (Sarah Paulson) out of Briarcliff. Here’s hoping Mother Superior follows through.

5. Lana gets her groove back. 

Speaking of Lana, Thredson (Zachary Quinto) may have had the upper hand after Sister Satan untied him from Lana and Kit’s make-shift prison, but Lana is clearly in control of this mind game. After all, not only can Bloody Face not kill her (she’s preggo with his kid!), but she’s the only one who knows where Thredson’s confession tapes are hidden.

Buzz Moments:

OMG!: I could not stop “OMG-ing” when Sister Satan forced herself on the Monsignor — literally. She deflowered poor Timothy. Also, Sister Satan’s poem was a nice touch: “There was a priest, the dirty beast, Whose name was Alexander. His mighty d*** was inches thick. He called it Salamander.”

Thank you, TV gods: For killing off Sister Mary Eunice, Satan and Dr. Arden. Ryan Murphy has a knack for rushing through storylines, so it’s nice to see the showrunner start to wrap up a few of the plot points. Now, we can focus on Bloody Face — and the aliens.

Hotness: How badass was Thredson’s entrance back into the asylum? I know we’re supposed to hate his guts, but I can still admire his pretty, non-bloody face… right?

Fab-u-lous: Sister Jude’s (Judy?) musical number could have been 50 Shades of Wrong, but instead, it totally worked. It was a nice break from the morose. Now, when can we expect Jessica Lange’s debut EP? Will she at least get a cameo on Glee?

Can. Not. Wait.: To find out if Lana gets out of Briarcliff! Watch out, Bloody Face. Lana’s out for your blood. Not to mention we still have to figure out Dylan Mcdermott present-day Bloody Face situation.

Celebuzz Meter (1-10): 9

American Horror Story: Asylum airs Wednesdays at 10 PM on FX.

Watch all of our interviews from the American Horror Story: Asylum premiere below.

Ryan Murphy definitely has something to be gleeful about.

The Glee co-creator unwrapped an early Christmas gift with his husband David Miller by welcoming a baby boy named Logan Phineas Miller Murphy on Dec. 24, E! News reports.

Just like his top secret storylines, the American Horror Story and The New Normal EP knows how to keep things under wraps. The 46-year-old writer-director secretly exchanged vows with his photographer husband last July.

And he just recently opened up his Beverly Hills mansion — and about his parental aspirations — to The Hollywood Reporter for its first-ever home issue, saying that just like the partnered couple on The New Normal who are in the process of having a baby via surrogate, that’s what Murphy and Miller also wanted in the next year.

“People always say when you have a child it brings you back to when you were a kid, and I’m excited to do that. I had a very rocky, difficult, emotional childhood with my parents,” Murphy told the trade publication. “And then I’m excited to have somebody or something come in and say: ‘Really? I don’t care what you think. I’m going to do what I want.’”

And the growing family couldn’t wait for the big day.

“The family thought it would never happen!” a source close to Murphy told Celebuzz.

“Everyone is just waiting a while now before they buy too many things.”

Their bundle of joy reportedly arrived at 9:47 AM on Christmas Eve, weighing at 6 lbs., 6 oz and measuring 21 inches long. And the proud papas made the special delivery announcement via email to family and friends, complete with a cute photo of baby Logan in a Christmas stocking.

Whether you love ABC Family’s Pretty Little Liars or Showtime’s Homeland, there’s no denying that TV’s hottest shows provided its audiences with a number of “OMG” moments that had everyone talking (or Tweeting up a storm) in 2012.

And when The CW’s Gossip Girl bid farewell to the airwaves on Monday, one more jaw-dropping revelation was added to the mix, as viewers were finally a given a glimpse into the identity of the elusive rumormonger. But, that’s one secret we’ll never tell… well, until you read after the spoiler alert, of course.

Note: MAJOR TV spoilers ahead!

Gossip Girl is no other than… Dan Humphries (Penn Badgley)!

Can television viewing get any crazier? Well, if you’re a fan of FX’s American Horror Story, Homeland and Dexter, it most definitely can. As the year swiftly winds down, we couldn’t help but remininsce on the craziest TV moments that had us on the edge of our seats — or, in some cases, falling out of shock.

Click through the gallery to see which moments made the cut!

Which TV moment had you in total shock this year? Speak out in the comments!

The Paley Center for Media announced on Monday that not only is it awarding producer Ryan Murphy its first-ever PaleyFest Icon Award, but also his series NBC’s The New Normal and FX’s American Horror Story: Asylum have been added to the annual TV festival. Murphy will receive his award at PaleyFest’s kickoff event on Wednesday, Feb. 27. The festival previously announced that HBO’s The Newsroom, NBC’s Revolution and ABC’s Once Upon A Time will also take part in the fest. [PaleyFest]

HBO and director Martin Scorsese (Goodfellas, Taxi Driver, The Departed) are partnering up for a documentary on former President Bill Clinton. The doc will feature Clinton recounting his experiences during his two-term presidency from 1993-2001 and his work and life after his service. An airdate has yet to be announced. [HBO]

E! is continuing its scripted series push with Gallerina, a one-hour project about a young girl trying to make her name in the New York City art gallery world. It is being produced by Mark Waters (Mean Girls, Freaky Friday), among others. [Deadline]

Jack Black’s comedy series, Ghost Ghirls, has found a home. It will premiere online in Spring 2013 on Yahoo! Screen. Produced by the comedic actor’s Electric Dynamite Productions and Shine America, the series follows two young female ghostbusters (played by Amanda Lund and Maria Blasucci), who solve the mysteries behind paranormal phenomena. Black, Jake Johnson, Molly Shannon, Jason Schwartzman and other celebrities will make appearances on the paranormal procedural. The 12-episode series began production earlier this month in Los Angeles. The series was previously reported to be in development with SyFy. [Yahoo! Screen]

The Insider is undergoing a makeover. In January 2013, it will return as omg!Insider with new co-host Thea Andrews. Andrews is replacing Brooke Anderson and joining co-anchor Kevin Frazier for the syndicated news magazine’s next iteration. [Deadline]

Sunday Ratings: Sunday Night Football’s San Francisco 49ers and New England Patriots game delivered NBC a big win with the advertiser-coveted 18-49 demo and reaching 18.6 million viewers in the 10PM timeslot. CBS scored with the Survivor: Philippines finale with the ad demo as well and 11.7 million viewers in the 9PM slot. But, ABC’s The Bachelorette: Ashley and J.P.’s Wedding failed to attract viewers to the nuptials – topping off at only 3.5 million viewers in its second hour at 10PM. [Zap2it]

Showtime’s Dexter and Homeland broke records for its respective Season 7 and Season 2 finales. Dexter drew in 2.75 million total viewers, making it the highest-rated program in the show’s history. Meanwhile, Homeland hit it out of the park with 2.3 million total viewers with its initial airing and 2.7 million overall for the night. [The Wrap]

Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Atlanta delivered its highest-rated episode of the season with over 3.6 million total viewers tuning in on Sunday night, becoming the third highest-rated episode in the history of the series. [Bravo]

When Ryan Murphy promises a cliffhanger, he delivers.

FX’s American Horror Story: Asylum is one of the most compelling, albeit disturbing, dramas on TV, and this week’s episode was a perfect example of why. As if Asylum wasn’t complicated enough with aliens, angles, Nazis, serial killers and the Devil running around Briarcliff, but now we have to worry about babies?

With Sister Jude (Jessica Lange) now committed to Briarcliff, Monsignor Howard (Joseph Fiennes) takes an improbable convert under his wing — with disastrous consequences. Meanwhile, Lana (Sarah Paulson) receives shocking news as the mystery of modern-day Bloody Face is resolved.

Note: Spoilers if you haven’t watched Wednesday’s episode, “The Coat Hanger.”

1. Dylan McDermott is Dr. Thredson’s son!

I’m not quite sure who’s more terrifying: Dr. Thredson (Zachary Quinto) or his equally evil son, played by Dylan McDermott. 

In the modern day, Dr. Carter (Brooke Smith) welcomes a very scruffy-looking McDermott into her practice. Of course, it doesn’t take him long to get to his main issue, which would be the overwhelming desire to kill and skin women. But there’s just one problem: He’s a little messy. You see, he didn’t go to medical school like his dad, so he’s a little sloppy with his knife skills. Oh yes, he’s the spawn of Bloody Face.

However, unlike Thredson, who was motivated to kill and skin his victims by his mother’s abandonment, his son seems motivated to kill because of his father’s infamous legacy. Poor Dr. Carter didn’t have a chance. It looks like Bloody Face 2.0 was just looking for another female victim to practice with.

2. Lana is pregnant.

In case you were wondering who McDermott’s mommy dearest was, that would be Lana (Sarah Paulson). At least, that’s what Murphy has led us to believe. I wouldn’t be surprised if Sister Mary Satan (Lily Rabe) was actually his mother, given his heinous crimes.

“The bad news is, the rabbit died,” Sister Mary Eunice gloats as she gives a horrified Lana her test results. “Calm down, Mommy.”

When Lana’s pleas for an abortion are denied, she takes things into her own hands — literally. Ladies, I think we can all agree that the idea of taking a coat hanger to the vagina is one of the most unbearable thoughts imaginable. Needless to say, Paulson deserves all of the Emmys for that performance.

Lana visits Thredson, who she and Kit (Evan Peters) tied up and hid somewhere in the bowels of Briarcliff, and gets him to admit the particulars of his criminal behavior while Kit secretly taped his confession. Then, she informs him of the existence of Baby Bloody Face.

“You know me. I can change. I have great determination,” Thredson says. “You owe me this.” Ah, but it’s a little too late. The dirty — and extremely bloody — deed has been done… or so Lana thought until Sister Satan informs her that her little coat hanger trick didn’t work.

3. Dr. Arden (almost) kills Kit.

With Thredson’s confession in hand, Kit goes to stash the tapes in the hydrobath room. Unfortunately, Dr. Arden (James Cromwell) is there to greet him, and he drops a bomb on Kit: The aliens are studying him.

“They’re studying you, Mr. Walker,” Arden explains, perhaps for a eugenics experiment, noting that both Alma (Britne Oldford) and Grace (Lizzie Brocheré) were taken after having sex with Kit. Of course, it’s an eugenics experiment! Because life is just one long eugenics experiment to Arden.

Arden then explains that he wants to bring Kit to the brink of death, then revive him to see if the aliens return to protect him. Obviously, Kit agrees. Hey, no one ever said Kit was the brightest crayon in the box. “Well then, Mr. Walker. Prepare to die,” says Arden (a little too smugly in my opinion).

4. Is Monsignor Howard a goner?

At first, I thought the Monsignor had something evil to hide. Of course, as we’ve learned, he does, but ultimately, he’s pretty naive when it comes to his faith. Sometimes, Monsignor, there are people that can’t be saved.

“You can be my miracle, Lee,” Monsignor Timothy tells psycho Santa (Ian McShane) before baptizing him in the church. Seconds later, Lee attempts to drown the Monsignor in the baptismal font. The next thing we know, there’s a dying, half-naked Joseph Fiennes crucified on a cross above the altar asking the Angel of Death for “help.”

5. Grace is alive — and pregnant!

As much as it pains me to say this, Arden was right. Once he poisoned Kit, the strobe lights kicked on and the weird noises commenced. The aliens were back, and they weren’t alone.

Arden runs to a room filled with light (obviously) to find a very coherent, and dare I say, sane, Pepper (!!!) and a very much alive — and pregnant — Grace. Those aliens are just so predictable: appearing in a white light, resurrecting the dead and impregnating women.

But hold up: Is Pepper, the criminally insane woman who killed her sister’s infant child, normal now? If so, does this mean she’s going to become Dr. Arden’s latest experiment?

Buzz Moments:

OMG!: Lana’s coat-hanger abortion might be one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever seen on TV — even worse than Lana’s aversion therapy. In fact, I’m going to take this opportunity to nominate Sarah Paulson for every single supporting actress award now.

Thank you, TV gods: When Sister Jude smashed that ever-playing French record to pieces, I, too, started clapping. Once again, Jessica Lange proves she’s the most badass actress on TV.

Awk-ward: Why in the world would Kit make a near-death pact with Dr. Arden? At what point does, ‘Hey, I’m just going to shoot some poison into your veins,’ sound like a good idea? Hasn’t he learned he can’t trust anyone in Briarcliff by now? Oh Kit, I’d love you so much more if you weren’t so daft.

Hotness: Sure, he may be Bloody Face’s son, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate McDermott’s scuff — and imagine him shirtless.

Fab-u-lous: On one hand, seeing Lana give herself a coat-hanger abortion was terrifying, but given everything she had been through, it was also quite liberating. I can’t lie: I physically cringed when Thredson begged her to keep the baby. “I can change,” he said; “You owe it to me,” he wailed. As if! If only Lana would have killed him when she had the chance.

Can. Not. Wait.: To find out what Grace has to say about her time with the little green men. Is she actually pregnant with Kit’s child? Or does she have some sort of alien spawn inside of her? And does Monsignor Howard survive his brush with death? Did Kit make it alive?

Celebuzz Meter (1-10): 9

American Horror Story: Asylum airs Wednesdays at 10 PM on FX.

Watch all of our interviews from the American Horror Story: Asylum premiere below.

I don’t know about you, but after watching FX’s  American Horror Story: Asylum this week, Christmas is officially tainted.

A homicidal maniac wreaks havoc on Briarcliff — and he’ll forever change the way you look at a man in a Santa suit. Trust me. Meanwhile Sister Jude (Jessica Lange) faces off with Sister Satan (Lily Rabe), who leaves yet another body in her wake.

Note: Spoilers if you haven’t watched Wednesday’s episode, “Unholy Night.”

1. Bad Santa.

Ian McShane is the creepiest Santa ever. Seriously, I think I’m forever going to be traumatized by the first eight minutes of “Unholy Night.” A Santa that murders families? A Santa that murders fellow Santas?! A Santa that bites people’s faces off?!! No wonder they keep Bad Santa in solitary confinement. You’re a mean one, Mr. Murphy.

But now that Sister Satan is in charge of Briarcliff’s Christmas festivities, she decides it’s time to let psycho Santa loose. And despite the previous year’s horrific photo-opp, Monsignor Howard (Joseph Fiennes) thinks this is a good idea. Unfortunately, for the residents of Briarcliff, it’s not such a good thing.

2. Dr. Arden admits he was wrong… about Sister Mary Eunice. 

“Please — and that’s not a word I use often — I’m begging you. Please help her,” Dr. Arden tells Sister Jude. There ‘s no doubt he misses Sister Mary Eunice’s purity,  but he’s not about to join forces with his mortal enemy to get his poor, innocent candy apple-fearing Sister back.

Just went you think Arden and Sister Jude have made a pact to take down the devil together, Arden proves — once again — why he is the worst guy ever and betrays Sister Jude’s trust. Instead, he sets her up to spend some one-on-one time with psycho Santa and the knife Sister Satan gave him. It looks like Arden and Sister Satan had planned this from the start. Yikes!

Arden doesn’t believe in God, so why should he fear the devil?

3. Sister Jude vs. Sister Satan.

Finally! Sister Jude confronts the devil residing in Sister Mary Eunice and tells the dark spirit to take a hike. Of course, did she really think she could defeat the devil?

Sister Jude may not have won this round, but she’ll do anything to help sweet, innocent Sister Mary Eunice. After all, she made a promise to her.

4. Bloody Face returns to Briarcliff.

Of course, Dr. Thredson would return to Briarcliff to finish what he started. But did he really have to chose Christmas to do so? Poor Lana just can’t catch a break.

Oliver tells Lana that after she escaped, he killed off Bloody Face — burning every piece of evidence in his house. However, he wants Lana to be Bloody Face 2.0′s first victim. Things don’t look good for Lana, who almost gets strangled to death but thankfully, Kit is there to come to her rescue.

Isn’t it fitting how the man she nearly condemned to certain death is now coming to save her? Ryan Murphy wasn’t lying when he called Kit (Evan Peters) “the hero of the show.” Although, he’s almost too selfless — to a fault. If he hadn’t gone back for Grace, he would be half-way to Canada now.

5. Dr. Arden’s shocking encounter in the Death Chute.

Wait, are you telling me the aliens actually do exist? When Dr. Aden brings Grace’s body down the Death Chute, he realizes that he isn’t alone. The aliens strike again! But this time, they take Grace’s body.

I was originally amused by the idea that Kit saw aliens. I thought it was an interesting ploy to convey that Kit, although innocent, was still somehow crazy. However, now that Sister Jude and Arden have both seen ET and his merry gang of green men, I’m now convinced the aliens might be real. Is Murphy punk’ing us? Or am I losing my mind? Anyway, we need answers — and fast! I’m losing my patience when it comes to this alien storyline.

Buzz Moments:

OMG!: No, not Frank! For some reason, I harbored a soft spot for Briarcliff’s head security guard. Sure, he may have killed Grace — but it was an accident, and he felt awful about it! He definitely didn’t deserve to die at the hands of the devil. It looks like things are only going to get bloodier in Briarcliff.

Awk-ward: I’m sorry, but would you want to wear poop-stained ruby earrings? Yeah, I didn’t think so. I guess the devil doesn’t have such standards.

Hotness: Kit’s drug-induced daydream of Alma and what their life could have been was emotional on many different levels, but mostly because Kit single-handedly carried a Christmas tree into their apartment and then continued to wrap his arms around his wife’s pregnant belly. It was hot in a rugged Boston sort of way.

Fab-u-lous: When Sister Jude managed to take down Bad Santa, I literally jumped off my couch and cheered. I love that there are so many strong female characters this season. Lily Rabe, Sarah Paulson and Jessica Lange have all given outstanding performances. Girl power, Sister!

Can. Not. Wait.: To get to the bottom of this alien nonsense. Since Arden has now seen the extraterrestrials, does this mean they’re actually real? And what did they need with Grace’s body? Will they find a way to revive her? There are so many questions and not enough answers. Also, next week, Dylan McDermott returns as modern-day Bloody Face. Is he somehow related to Thredson? Looks like we’ll have to wait and see.

Celebuzz Meter (1-10): 8 — Did you really have to make Santa a homicidal maniac, Ryan Murphy? Bah, Humbug!

American Horror Story: Asylum airs Wednesdays at 10 PM on FX.

Watch all of our interviews from the American Horror Story: Asylum premiere below.

The angel of death stopped by Briarcliff this week on FX’s American Horror Story: Asylum – and she claimed   more than one unfortunate soul.

With her six-foot wide jet black wings and alluring bright red lips, Francis Conroy made quite the entrance at Briarcliff, much to the disdain of her “fallen cousin” — the evil spirit inside Sister Mary Eunice (Lily Rabe).

Note: Spoilers if you haven’t watched Wednesday’s episode, “Dark Cousin.”

1. Grace is finally “free.”

The Dark Angel is summoned when Grace’s botched sterilization brings her to the brink of death. However, just before she can accept her kiss of death, she’s brought back to life by an extremely overzealous Sister.

Sister Mary Eunice stops by Dr. Arden’s (James Cromwell) office to taunt him about his terrible surgical work. “All of her girl parts have been scooped out,” she reminds him. But there’s one catch: Arden hasn’t performed Grace’s sterilization.

When Kit (Evan Peters) — who is facing the electric chair for Dr. Thredson’s (Zachary Quinto) dirty work — hears about Grace’s misfortune, he makes a run for it, knocking his defense lawyer out cold in the process. On the positive side, this could work in Kit’s favor. After all, he needs to prove to the judge he’s cray cray. But now that Kit’s a fugitive on the run, the police have been ordered to shoot on sight. Yikes.

But when Kit sneaks into Briarcliff to save Grace, flesh-eating Spivey (Mark Consuelos) follows him and ultimately wrecks havoc on his escape plan. Upon discovering Kit with Spivey’s blood on his hands, security guard Frank fires a fatal shot… but it’s Grace who takes the hit. Her last words? “I’m free.”

2. Sister Mary Eunice cries out for help.

Elsewhere in Briarcliff, another patient attempts a gory suicide by slitting his wrists on a deli slicer. Excuse me, but why is there a whirring deli slicer in an insane asylum? After calling upon death, she comes to his bedside and ushers him into the eternal darkness. But her work at Briarcliff isn’t done yet.

Sister Satan barges into the room, demanding the Dark Angel leave the asylum. However, Dark Angel tells her she was summoned by the Sister Mary Eunice’s innocent soul. For a second we see the real Mary Eunice come bawling out of her normally steely facade.

3. Pray for Lana.

Oh, Lana (Sarah Paulson). Poor, poor Lana. With her current status as Bloody Face’s sexual play thing, it’s now wonder Lana called upon Death.

The Dark Angel pays Lana a visit in Thredson’s basement, but before they seal the deadly deal, Bloody Face’s latest victim decides she is not yet ready to give up. Little did she know she’d be in for the fight of her life when Thredson decides that keeping her alive was a bad decision. But when he tries to kill her, Lana somehow manages to wrangle out of his grasp.

Despite her best efforts, Lana doesn’t succeed in killing Thredson, but she does knock him out for just enough time to escape the basement.

Unfortunately for Lana, she ends up in a car with a suicidal man who, seconds after the Angel of Death appears in the backseat, blows his own brains out. Poor Lana ends up right back in Briarcliff surely wishing she’d just chosen death when she had the chance.

With her brilliant performance this season, Paulson is giving Jessica Lange a serious run for her money come Emmy time.

4. Sister Jude faces her demons.

Considering that Sister Jude (Lange) has attempted suicide before, she’s well acquainted with the Angel of Death who arrives when the Sister envisions slitting her own wrists.

After a heart-to-heart with the Dark Angel, she decides she’s ready to pucker up for her last kiss, but first feels she needs to apologize to the family of the child she struck and killed a decade prior. However, upon visiting the family, Jude shockingly learns the child not only survived, but had gone on to become a nurse with a child of her own. Now if that doesn’t restore Jude’s faith in God, nothing will.

5. Arden knows there’s something about Sister Mary.

The Dark Angel isn’t the only person Sister Mary Eunice takes on this episode. “You touch me again, you will die,” she tells Dr. Arden after he slaps her across the face. When he tries to slap her again, Sister Satan hurls him right across the room.

Now call me crazy, but wouldn’t Arden wonder how little Sister Mary could toss him around like a rag doll? You’d think he would at least call his BFF Monsignor Howard (Joseph Fiennes) and tell him that one of the nuns has is running rampant? Or perhaps he’s too afraid to stand up to Sister Satan now that she knows about his Nazi past.

Dr. Arden may be too scared to dance with the Devil, but Sister Jude is ready to kick Sister Mary Eunice off her high horse.

Buzz Moments:

OMG!: The little girl in the blue coat is alive! Hail Mary, indeed Sister Jude. Now, what are we going to do about Sister Satan?

Awk-ward: Dr. Thredson is 50 Shades of Crazy. First, he calls Lana his mother, and then the next minute, he’s sexually assaulting her and trying to kill her. Why did he so suddenly change his mind on keeping her alive anyway?

Hotness: When Lana managed to escape Dr. Thredson’s maniacal grasp — and nearly choke him to death — I’ve never been so turned on by a fictional female TV character. You go girl.

Fab-u-lous: Francis Conroy’s performances as the Angel of Death was particularly striking. Up until this point, every death on Asylum appeared to be gruesome and excruciating, but Conroy brought a beauty to death we had yet to see. So is death the only escape from Briarcliff?

Can. Not. Wait.: To find out what happens to Kit! At this point, Lana is his only hope at redemption, but how can she help him when she can’t even help herself? Also, I really need to see Sister Jude b**** slap the hell out of Sister Mary Eunice.

Celebuzz Meter (1-10): 9

American Horror Story: Asylum airs Wednesdays at 10 PM on FX.

Watch all of our interviews from the American Horror Story: Asylum premiere below.

Bloody Face has some serious mommy issues.

This week, FX’s American Horror Story: Asylum dove into the backstories of some of its most monstrous characters. What made Dr. Thredson (Zachary Quinto) turn into Bloody Face? What triggered Sister Mary Eunice’s (Lily Rabe) anger? Why does Dr. Arden (James Cromwell) use Briarcliff patients as his own personal lab rats? “The Origins of Monstrosity” gives us some much needed insight into the lives of these characters before they entered Briarcliff’s door.

As per usual, there were plenty of WTF moments to go around, but there were five that truly stood out. And no, none of them have to do with aliens.

Note: Spoilers if you haven’t watched Wednesday’s episode, “The Origins of Monstrosity.”

1. Bloody Face has mommy issues.

“She was about your age when she abandoned me,” Thredson tells Lana (Sarah Paulson). He grew up “in the system” without any love or affection and most importantly, little to no human contact. And thus begins his terrible obsession with 33-year-old women and their flesh. He just wants to be loved, y’all!

As for Lana — poor, poor Lana — she now has to act like Thredson’s mother if she wants to stay alive. He told her she “was different than the rest.” He believes she understands him and his psycho behavior. After all, behind every psychopath killer is a super emotional sob story.

2. Dr. Arden and The Monsignor make a Faustian pact. 

After last week’s shock ending, we know Arden isn’t exactly who he says he is. In fact, his real name is Hans Gruber, and he’s a former Nazi. But when he came to the states, he changed his name to Arthur Arden. Soon after, he began working at Briarcliff, which was a tuberculosis ward at that time. Under Arden’s supervision, thousands of patients died from the disease.

Then, in 1962, the Catholic Church bought Briarcliff under Monsignor Howard’s supervision, it became an asylum. However, before the ink dried on the deal, Arden convinced the Monsignor to let him experiment on a few of the patients in order to help his TB research.

However, flash forward to 1964, and the Monsignor realizes what Arden has been doing to his patients. Essentially, Arden has been working toward making a super immune system — one that could never weaken. To do so, he picks out patients “who otherwise surve no purpose” in life – ”Briarcliff is a receptacle for human waste,” he says — and injects them with a bacterial combination of TB and syphilis. His latest victim is Spivey (Mark Consuelos), who we found out is a sex offender.  He says he’s doing it in the name of science: ”I’m not a monster! I’m a visionary.” You see, Arden just wants to prepare humanity for impending atomic warfare.

When the Monsignor is called into the hospital to give Shelley (Chloe Sevigny) – seriously deformed and dying — her last rites, he realizes what’s been going on in Arden’s lab. Heartbroken at the sight of Shelley, Monsignor goes to Arden and demands he leave Briarcliff. However, Arden has dirt on Monsignor, so the two make a Faustian pact, one Howard knows is morally wrong. Arden also instructs the Monsignor to fire Sister Jude (Jessica Lange).

3. Sister Jude is exiled from Briarcliff. 

Sister Jude’s days at Briarcliff really were numbered — and to be honest, she should consider herself lucky. Between Dr. Arden’s human experimentation, alien invasion and THE DEVIL, no one in that mental institution is safe. But something tells me Sister Jude will be back. (She did, in fact, leave her favorite red nightie.)

No, but seriously, Sister Jude is on the brink of getting into a sparring match with the Devil. Last week, Sister Jude went to a Nazi Hunter to see if he could dig up any dirt on Arden. This week, the Nazi Hunter dropped a bomb on Sister Jude: Dr. Arden is Hans Gruber — and he was at Auschwitz. But in order to turn Arden into the authorities, the Nazi Hunter needs his fingerprint to confirm his identity. So Sister Jude grabs a bottle of Cognac goes to Arden’s lab one last night to toast to his good fortune — with Sister Jude out of the picture, Briarcliff is under Arden’s control now.

With his dirty glass in hand, Sister Jude goes to the Nazi Hunter. Unfortunately, Sister Satan got to him first. As he bleeds out on the bathroom floor, he manages to tell Sister Jude about “the nun” that did this to him. Oh snap. It’s time for some nun vs. nun action!

4. Sister Mary Eunice is blackmailing Arden.

Sister Satan has been busy this episode. Not only did she convince a small child to murder her entire family in cold blood — WITH A KNIFE — but she also had time to foil Sister Jude’s plan, dance around in her nightie AND blackmail Arden by hiding some of his Nazi evidence. Sister Satan says she making sure Arden doesn’t double-cross her, and of course, Dr. McCreepy turns this into an opportunity to say things like, “You don’t love me. I’m too ugly, too old.” Oh boy. Does he have mommy issues too? No, wait, he’s just a Nazi.

I don’t really know what Arden and Sister Satan are planning, but I really hope Pepper comes back and punches Dr. Arden in the face. We all know Pepper is this season’s true hero.

5. Bloody Face has Teresa.

Back in present time, we discover Bloody Face — OG Bloody Face, we think — killed the “impostors” who murdered Leo (Adam Levine). He leaves a haunting 911 message, and is it just me or does that sound like Zachary Quinto? Or was that actually Dylan McDermott?! 

And poor Teresa (Jenna Dewan)! Bloody Face has taken her from the crime scene and onto his lamp shade-making table. Uh oh. Sorry Jenna, but didn’t you say you love horror films? Let’s call this payback for getting Adam Levine killed.

Now, is this the real Bloody Face? Or Bloody Face 2.0?! What do you think?

Buzz Moments:

OMG!: Teresa is on Bloody Face’s table, so does this mean Dr. Thredson is still out there murdering women? Or are we dealing with a copy cat serial killer? That voice sounded awfully familiar. I’m thinking this could be where Dylan McDermott comes into play. But what happened to Lana?! The questions are endless, and frankly, it makes my head hurt thinking about all of them.

Awk-ward: Poor Lana. Trying to convince a deranged man that you’re his mother in order to say yourself from being skinned alive? Yikes.

Hotness: Sister Satan may be a cold-hearted b****, but she sure knows how to put on a good show. No only did she fulfill Spivey’s, um, fantasies, but she also danced around to Lesley Gore’s “You Don’t Own Me” in Sister Jude’s red lacy negligee. Do you hear that Jesus? You don’t own Sister Satan.

Fab-u-lous: Yes, it may have made me horrifically anxious, but watching Lana come face-to-face with her own death and her fight to survive was harrowing. She could have easily given up, but Lana’s not going down without a good fight, even if that means she has to play along with Dr. Thredson’s delusions.

Can. Not. Wait.: To see Sister Jude go head-to-head with Sister Satan. Even with her faults, Sister Jude has proven to be the real hero of the show. She’s now the only person who can help save Briarcliff from Arden and Satan’s corruption. On another note, we still really need to resolve this whole alien storyline. Do they actually exist? And why do they only appear after Kit has sex with someone?! Plus, will Lana find a way out of Bloody Face’s basement?

Celebuzz Meter (1-10): 8 — Not nearly enough Kit (Evan Peters) for my liking.

American Horror Story: Asylum airs Wednesdays at 10 PM on FX.

Watch all of our interviews from the American Horror Story: Asylum premiere below.

FX’s American Horror Story will be back for Season 3. Star Jessica Lange will return when the scary series’ third season premieres in Fall 2013. Season 2 of the show will wrap up on Jan. 23. [FX]

The Walking Dead is adding another character from the graphic novels. Robert Kirkman says the character will appear on the fall finale of the AMC show, which airs Dec. 2. The comic creator and executive producer of the show says the character is a “a big deal fan favorite.” [EW]

Bravo is giving viewers a sneak peek into housewife Lisa Vanderpump’s new series, Vanderpump Rules, with a special two-hour special of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in January. Vanderpump Rules will follow the staff at the reality star’s Beverly Hills restaurant, SUR. The special will air Monday, Jan. 7 at 9 PM. [Bravo]

Grey’s Anatomy is bringing on a new member of the Seattle Grace’s hospital board. Nip/Tuck alum Roma Maffia will play Roberta in a multi-episode arc. She will first appear on the Nov. 29 episode. [TV Guide]

The Jimmy Fallon-produced Guys with Kids has received an additional episode from NBC. The freshman comedy’s order, for four episodes, brings the first season episode total to 17. [Deadline]

Rumer Willis is set to play Masi Oka’s love interest on CBS’ Hawaii Five-0. Willis, will play Sabrina, a bank teller who is interested in Oka’s Dr. Max Bergman. She appears in the same episode as C. Thomas Howell and Victoria’s Secret supermodel Behati Prinsloo on Dec. 3. [EW]

FOX’s The X Factor got a bump in the ratings Wednesday night, adding over a million viewers to its overall total. The CW’s Arrow continued its hot streak and had its biggest audience since its premiere with 3.8 million viewers. NBC’s premiere of Whitney was better than its time slot predecessor Animal Practice. [Zap2it]

Wow. So who saw that twist coming?

Ryan Murphy promised the best episode of FX’s American Horror Story yet — and he wasn’t bluffing. The second episode in the “I Am Anne Frank” saga concluded with an epic revelation: [SPOILER] is Bloody Face!

Let’s just say this is the episode that’s going to win Jessica Lange another Emmy. ”God always answers our prayers, it’s just rarely the answer we’re looking for,” Sister Jude says. Perhaps, no one knows that better than Lana (Sara Paulson) and Kit (Evan Peters) after this episode. Between Anne Frank, aliens and Bloody Face, “I Am Anne Frank, Part 2″ had plenty of WTF moments.

Note: Spoilers if you haven’t watched Wednesday’s episode, “I Am Anne Frank, Part 2.”

1. Bloody Face is revealed! (And it’s a life ruiner.) 

Oh, Zachary Quinto. You were just too handsome not to be hiding something, but Bloody Face? Really?! Sorry readers, but I’m still coming to terms with this plot twist.

After last week’s episode, we started to see a darker side of Dr. Thredson (Quinto) and his methods. But when he aided Lana in her escape from Briarcliff, he redeemed himself. That is, until he took her back to his place — where he has a skull for a candy bull and makes lamp shades out of skin — and trapped her in his creepy cellar. Seriously, he’s like Dr. Arden (James Cromwell) 2.0.

The worst part? While in his cellar, Lana discovers Wendy’s (Clea Duvall) cold, dead body. It’s a heartbreaking moment — and it takes a turn for the seriously deranged when Thredson shows Lana the new additions to his Bloody Face mask: Wendy’s teeth. Oh Lana, I bet you wish you would have escaped with Kit and Grace right about now.

2. Anne Frank isn’t who she says she is. 

After Anne Frank’s attempt to kill Dr. Arden is ruined by Sister Mary Eunice/Satan (Lily Rabe), it’s revealed the woman claiming to be Anne Frank last is actually Charlotte Cohen, a young mother suffering from postpartum psychosis. Her worried husband tells Sister Jude that his wife’s obsession with Anne Frank started young, but it was only after the birth of their son she started referring to herself as the Holocaust victim.

Rightly fearing that Charlotte will be murdered by Dr. Arden if she stays in the asylum, Sister Jude releases her to her husband’s care. As for Dr. Arden, he may have taken a bullet to the leg, but that didn’t stop him from being his mean old self. He threatens to sue Sister Jude for her incompetence — that is, unless she grovels at his feet and begs for forgiveness. But Sister Jude isn’t the groveling type (thankfully), so McCreepy sulks off.

However, it’s Arden who gets the last laugh. Unable to deal with his wife’s erratic behavior, Charlotte’s husband brings her back to Briarcliffe. There, Arden convinces her husband to let him give his wife a lobotomy. The look of pure satisfaction on Arden’s face as he drove the metal rod into Charlotte’s skull was absolutely terrifying. It’s no surprise we learn Arden actually was a Nazi war criminal.

3. The aliens are back?! 

The alien storyline is still Asylum’sweakest link when it comes to substance. It’s hard to see what Murphy has in store for us when it comes to these extraterrestrial sightings.

Trapped in their isolation cells, Kit and Grace lament about how “there’ll be no tomorrow for either of us.” Oh wait, they spoke too soon. It looks like for Kit, there will be! Thanks to She-Devil Sister Mary, Kit is released from his isolation cell. Grace, however, isn’t so lucky. She’s going to go under the knife. That is, until she gets abducted by aliens. Grace isn’t having a very good day.

While on the creepy — and insanely bright — alien operating table, she sees a very pregnant Alma (alien baby?!), who reassures her to just relax. When Grace awakens, she’s bleeding from what may or may not have been Dr. Arden’s attempt to sterilize her. Unfortunately for Kit, he’s too busy getting dragged away by the police to help out his lady friend.

4. Kit makes a confession.

“My name is Kit Walker, and I murdered my wife.” NO YOU DIDN’T! Or did you? I have no idea.

Before Thredson l made his exit from Briarcliffe, he convinced Kit to confess to all of the heinous crimes he’s accused of committing. You see, in order for Thredson to hand in his assessment of Kit’s mental health with a clean conscious, he needs Kit to confess to the murders… on tape, of course.

As it turns out, Thredson (a.k.a. BLOODY FACE) duped poor Kit. Not only did he hand over Kit’s confession to the cops but he gave him a clean bill of mental health, which means Kit is most certainly headed for the electric chair. I’M SO SAD.

5. Dr. Arden maks a deal with the Devil.

Dr. Arden wants control over Briarcliffe. And with Sister Jude’s fate at Briarcliffe uncertain, he just may get what he wants.

So, how did Shelley (Chloe Sevigny) manage to disappear just moments after Anne Frank/Charlotte saw her? Sister Mary Satan, naturally! As she tends to Dr. Arden’s bullet wound, she seductively tells him that once he takes over Briarcliffe, she’d love to become his “strong right hand.”

Dr. Arden seems intrigued by the idea. After all, he’s impressed with the way she managed to hide Shelley’s body. “You’d be surprised. She weighed very little.” Cut to a very grotesque scene of Sister Mary Satan dragging poor Shelley out of Arden’s lab. Cue screaming.

Buzz Moments:

OMG!: When Shelley — or rather, what was left of Shelley — started crawling up the school yard steps, I literally yelped at my TV screen. It looks like Sister Satan didn’t hide you very well.

Awk-ward: Meeting the pregnant wife of the guy you hooked up with on an alien’s probing station has to be one of the most awkward fictional scenarios ever.

Hotness: Zachary Quinto, I know you’re Bloody Face and all, but… I JUST DON’T KNOW HOW TO QUIT YOU.

Fab-u-lous: That moment when Sister Jude went rogue and had a one night stand in her party dress and heels was amazing. Kudos to Sister Jude. She might be the only person to survive this entire mess. Who would have thought we’d be rooting for Sister Jude five episodes in? I just hope I didn’t speak too soon.

Can. Not. Wait.: I’m sorry RM, but we need to resolve this whole alien mess ASAP. Is Alma really still alive? And is she pregnant with Kit’s baby? And what happened to Grace? The questions are endless.

Celebuzz Meter (1-10): 9.5

American Horror Story: Asylum airs Wednesdays at 10 PM  on FX.

Watch all of our interviews from the American Horror Story: Asylum premiere below.

He may play the off kilter and violent Dr. Arden on FX’s American Horror Story: Asylum, but James Cromwell is very, very different from the role he plays so convincingly.

The actor is joining forces with PETA for a new campaign against animal (and human) cruelty and Celebuzz has the exclusive first look at the PSA.

In the PSA, Cromwell warns that we should look out for people who hurt animals, because very often they move on to hurting humans.

“If you know of someone who’s abusing or neglecting an animal,” Cromwell, 72, says in the PSA. “Don’t ignore it or just assume that someone else will do something. Call the police or animal control. And if you have kids or grandkids, please talk to them about the importance of being kind to animals. That conversation might save a life. Let’s stop the cycle of violence before it begins.”

The campaign is backed by studies showing that some of the most violent people we’ve known — “The Boston Strangler,” Jeffrey Dahmer, and the Columbine High School students who shot and killed their classmates, among others – killed or mutilated animals well before they directed their violence against other humans.

Cromwell joins a growing list of celebrities who have joined forces with PETA to promote kindness to animals, including AHS costar Jenna Dewan, Edie Falco, Lea Michele, Cloris Leachman and Joaquin Phoenix.

Watch Cromwell’s PSA above. Visit the PETA website for more information.

American Horror Story: Asylum airs Wednesdays at 10 PM on FX.

What are your thoughts on Cromwell’s PETA message? Tell us in the comments section below.

For some viewers, Wednesday’s American Horror Story: Asylum probably struck a little too close for home.

During the episode, a terrifying storm barreled through the East Coast, hitting Briarcliff asylum — and its patients — particularly hard. Is it just me or is Ryan Murphy starting to have a sixth sense when it comes real-life events?

First, Glee featured both Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” and Andy Williams’ “Moon River” the week after the perspective artists’ deaths, and now Asylum hosts a scary superstorm just days after Sandy ravaged the East Coast.

But I digress, despite the uncanny story line, American Horror Story: Asylum just keeps getting better. For the third week in a row, Sister Jude (Jessica Lange) and her island of misfit toys have kept me biting my nails in anticipation. Between the Bloody Face debacle, Raspers and Shelley’s ill-fated escape, “Nor’easter” had plenty of WTF moments.

Note: Spoilers if you haven’t watched Wednesday’s episode, “Nor’easter.”

1. Sister Mary Eunice (a.k.a Satan) kills in cold blood. Now that Sister Mary (Lily Rabe) has been possessed by Satan, she’s a heck of a lot more fun. She also happens to be stirring up quite a bit of trouble at Briarcliff.  Not only does she drive Sister Jude into a drunken stupor, but she also tries to seduce Dr. Arden, which ultimately drives McCreepy into a libido-driven sex rage. But his target isn’t that “dirty little slut” Sister Mary.

However, Sister Satan’s biggest offense thus far is gruesomely killing a Devil-fearing patient. R.I.P. “The Mexican.” Seriously, that was an intense scene. Even Dexter doesn’t get that graphic. Sister Satan then takes the body to the hungry Raspers.

Is anyone in Briarcliff safe from Satan? Probably not, but I’d prefer if Zachary Quinto goes unharmed for at least the next three or four episodes.

2. Sister Jude’s past comes back to haunt her. Sister Satan has it in for Sister Jude.

We know Sister Jude turned to the cloth after killing an innocent girl in a hit-and-run accident in 1949, but now Sister Satan is using that information to terrorize her superior.

Sister Jude becomes paranoid when she thinks someone in Briarcliff knows her dirty little secret. She even starts to hallucinate  the little girl in the blue coat! So Sister Satan makes her believe it’s Dr. Arden (James Cromwell), and with a little help from “the blood of Christ,” Sister Jude is wasted in no time. And with her defenses down, she almost lets her secret slip to everyone in Briarcliff. Oy, something tells me Penny is smarter than we give her credit for.

Jessica Lange can do no wrong. She deserves all of the Emmys after her stellar performance. Even in a drunken stupor, Lange is the most captivating actor on screen.

3. Leo and Teresa are finally dead… and so is Bloody Face? Well, one Bloody Face. It seems the Bloody Face who terrorized Leo (Adam Levine) and Teresa (Jenna Dewan -Tatum) is not exactly the same Bloody Face who terrorized women in 1964 Massachusetts. In reality, he’s just a copy cat killer — and he’s not alone.

After Leo makes a miraculous recovery (seriously, WTF?), he saves his new wife, stabs Bloody Face to death and almost makes it out of Briarcliff Manor. That is, until he and Teresa are shot dead by two other Bloody Faces. Didn’t see that one coming.

But that’s not all! Just when you think these two kids are mere copy cat killers looking to have some deadly fun with tourists, another — yes, another — Bloody Face enters the picture, and he doesn’t look too happy. If you’ve been keeping count, that’s four Bloody Faces: one dead, two soon-to-be-dead and one enigma. Is this Bloody Face the real Bloody Face? Or is he just another copy cat? Or could this be just a scene from a movie (a la Urban Legend)?

4. Dr. Arden digs deeper — literally! — into Kit. The alien story line is perhaps the most perplexing part of Asylum. Are they just a figment of Kit’s (Evan Peters) imagination? If so, where did the six-legged micro chip come from?

Dr. Arden is on a mission to find out. Of course, this involves a little digging — into Kit’s neck. Will McCreepy find another chip hidden inside Kit? I have absolutely no idea. With so much going on (Bloody Face, Satan, Raspers…), it’s easy to forget about Kit’s extraterrestrial sightings, but I can’t help but be intrigued by the thought of Murphy adding E.T. into the mix.

Plus, was it just me or did anyone else spot an alien in the hallway when Sister Jude drunkenly stumbles around? Or was it Bloody Face? Or another Rasper? Guys, all of these creatures look the same!

Sadly, Kit isn’t McCreepy’s only victim.

5. THE RASPERS ARE IN THE BUILDING. And Shelley might be one of them. Lana, Kit, Grace and Shelley hatch up a plan to escape from Briarcliff while the nor’easter terrorizes the East Coast. Sounds like a good idea, right? Almost.

Shelley distracts the guard with a BJ, while Kit, Grace (Lizzie Brocheré) and Lana (Sarah Paulson)  head for Briarcliff’s secret passageway. Unfortunately, Shelley gets stopped by a sex-crazed Dr. Arden, so the three decide to bust out of the asylum without her. Bad idea! Once they reach Briarcliff’s forest, they meet the Raspers — and they are some scary-looking creatures.

The Briarcliff patients-turned-savages are heavily mutated as a result of McCreepy’s scientific experiments — and they eat (ick) anyone who enters the forest. Kit, Grace and Lana run back into Briarcliff… WITHOUT SHUTTING THE DOOR. So, of course, now the Raspers could have potentially invaded Briarcliff.

And it looks like poor Shelley could soon be joining them. After Dr. Arden’s failed attempt to rape Shelley, he clubs her over the head and subsequently hacks off her legs. Ugh, poor Shelley will never get to run away to Paris now. Since everyone believes she escaped Briarcliff, Arden has the perfect excuse for her disappearance.

Sooner or later, she’ll be another one of Arden’s Raspers.

Buzz Moments:

OMG!: When Dr. Arden removed the sheet away from Shelley to reveal her amputated legs… OMG! That was almost as bad as Arizona’s big reveal on Grey’s Anatomy.

Awk-ward: Sister Satan’s advances on Dr. Arden are both creepy and misguided. I mean, save that kind of kinky behavior for Monsignor Howard (Joseph Fiennes), Sister!

Hotness: Sister Satan is so much more fun to watch than Sister Mary Wet Blanket. I know she’s supposed to be evil and all, but I like that she’s now the driving force of all of Asylum’s action. Plus, who doesn’t love a nun in red lipstick?

Fab-u-lous: She may not be on screen for very long, but Pepper (Naomi Grossman) is a scene stealer. And she definitely knows more than we thing she does.

Can. Not. Wait.: To find out more about Bloody Face. Was he one of Dr. Arden’s Raspers? And therefore, can he not age? Perhaps the Bloody Face in 2012 is, in fact, the real Bloody Face from 1964. And what about the aliens? I need to find out E.T. fits into all of this madness ASAP. is most definitely a scene stealer

Celebuzz Meter (1-10): 9 — Now this was a Halloween episode!

American Horror Story: Asylum airs Wednesdays at 10 PM  on FX.

Watch all of our interviews from the American Horror Story: Asylum premiere below.

American Horror Story: Asylum is off to a wickedly good start. Forget the aliens and bloody-faced serial killer, it’s all about Satan!

Ryan Murphy and Co. treated fans to an exorcism this week, but unfortunately for Sister Jude (Jessica Lange), things don’t go exactly as planned. There’s an evil spirit on the loose, people! Or is it…?

But the gruesome exorcism — think: Regan MacNeil 2.0 — is just one of five WTF moments that stood out above the rest in this week’s cray cray episode of American Horror Story: Asylum.

Note: Spoilers if you haven’t watched Wednesday’s episode, “Tricks and Treats.”

1. Bye bye, Wendy! Whoa. Karma is a b****. OK, so maybe that’s a bit harsh considering how Wendy (Clea Duvall) wanted to recant her consent to send Lana (Sarah Paulson) to Briarcliff. But, I can’t say that Wendy didn’t (partially) deserve her fate as Bloody Face’s latest victim. Sorry Wendy, but “I’m a school teacher” won’t help you get out of this one.

And we finally got to see Bloody Face in action, which means there’s no possible way Kit (Evan Peters) could be the infamous serial killer. Unless, of course, there’s more than one — but Ryan Murphy did say Kit was the “hero of the show” this season, so that seems doubtful.

As for Wendy, I don’t think this is the last we’ll see of Clea Duvall. She’ll probably pop up in one of Lana’s dream — or worse, one of her post-electric shock therapy hallucinations. Oh, and we’ll definitely see part of her face on Bloody Face’s mask. TMI?

2. Poor Adam Levine. Sorry Maroon 5 fans, but if you thought Levine would miraculously make it through the entire season, his interaction with Bloody Face says otherwise.

Unfortunately for Leo, his “horror freak” wife (Jenna Dewan -Tatum) not only got his arm sawed off, but she then lured the psycho killer back to him to finish the job. A couple of stabs to the chest and some internal bleeding later, and it looks like Leo is officially dunzo.

Although, once you die in Briarcliff, do you ever really leave the asylum? Or am I just being too optimistic for more #TeamAdam screen time?

3. Sister Jude has a dark past: She’s a murderer! I knew Sister Jude was hiding something, but I didn’t think the revelation would be this gruesome! Couldn’t she have been a sex addict like Monsignor Howard?

Thanks to the evil spirit’s sick mind games, Sister Jude’s past is revealed: She’s a former hooker — and singer! — who turned to religion after causing an accident that killed a little girl in a blue coat.

4. Wait, now we have to worry about Satan too. That exorcism was AWESOME. Well, maybe it’s more enjoyable if you’re a horror fan or an Exorcist enthusiast. Devon Graye does his best Regan MacNeil impression as a teenage boy who becomes possessed by Satan (Or is it just an evil spirit? Or perhaps, Ann Coulter? The jury is still out on that one).

However, the exorcism doesn’t quite go as planned. Monsignor Howard’s (Joseph Fiennes) handsome face can’t seem to exercise the devil — and neither can the fine presence of Zachary Quinto. When all else fails, they send in Sister Jude to seal the deal. Except, Satan has some not-so-nice things to say to Sister Jude.

Eventually, the poor Jed’s body gives out, and the evil spirit jumps out of him — and into Sister Mary Eunice (Lily Rabe)! Holy crap. I did not see that one coming! I cannot wait to see Sister Mary go from a lady of perpetual virginity to an unholy, foul-mouthed demon.

5. Lana’s betrayal. Lana knows a way out of Briarcliff thanks to Sister Mary’s naivety. After some girl talk in the hydrobath, she’s willing to share her intel with Grace (Lizzie Brocheré). However, there’s one catch: Lana refuses to let Kit come with them.

Even when faced with a golden opportunity to escape the asylum (well-timed, Satan-induced power outage!), Lana decides to turn Kit and Grace in rather than escape with them. Sadly, that means 40 lashes for Kit — and some serious b**** face from Grace.

Now, I’m willing to forgive Lana because one, she just underwent electro shock therapy after being accused of “knowing too much” and, two, she honestly believes Kit is Bloody Face! And we all know when the news says something is true — it must be true.

Buzz Moments:

OMG!: Did anyone see Wendy’s death coming on the second episode?! But when will Lana find out? Or more importantly, how?

Awk-ward: Dr. Arden (James Cromwell) finally got what he deserved when his call girl — who happened to be a total Sister Jude lookalike! — went rogue and bit him in the arm. Sorry Dr. Arden, but you’ll have to take your sick fantasies elsewhere.

Hotness: Finally! Zachary Quinto is back on my TV screen, and I could not be happier. Now, how long do you think it will take before Dr. Oliver gets his first sex scene?

Fab-u-lous: Jessica Lange’s portrayal of Sister Jude is one of the most dynamic performances of this TV season. Watching Sister Jude recall the moment she struck and killed an innocent girl sent shivers down my spine — she’s just so good. I would not be surprised if by this time next year, she has another Emmy to add to her collection. And Sister Jude, red is most certainly your color.

Can. Not. Wait.: To find out more about Bloody Face! We know it’s not Kit, so who could it be? And why is he still around in 2012 terrorizing Teresa and Leo?! On the other hand, now that Sister Mary Eunice is possessed by Satan, does that mean she’s going to get down and dirty with Dr. Arden? Gross.

Celebuzz Meter (1-10): 9 — I’m completely hooked! Are you?

American Horror Story: Asylum airs Wednesdays at 10 PM  on FX.

Watch all of our interviews from the American Horror Story: Asylum premiere below.

It’s almost November sweeps, the month of many guest stars and here is yet another one we can add to the list. Deirdre Lovely, previously seen on The Wire, will be popping in on ABC’s Private Practice as a woman who is suing Addison (Kate Walsh) for the wrongful birth of her daughter. Lovejoy will appear on the Nov. 13 episode of the drama, which is told from Addison’s point of view. [TVLine]

Which freshman dramas dipped in the ratings Wednesday night?

ABC’s Nashville took a dive Wednesday with a 29 percent drop in the ratings and only 6.8 million viewers for its second episode. Fellow freshman drama, NBC’s Chicago Fire also dropped 21 percent with only 5.9 million viewers. Meanwhile, The CW’s Arrow and Supernatural remained steady with 3.5 and 2.2 million viewers respectively. CBS won the night overall with their shows, Survivor, Criminal Minds and CSI. FX’s American Horror Story came back with a bang with 3.9 million viewers and was No. 2 in the 10 o’clock hour according to ratings points.  [EW]

Animal Practice has been pulled from the schedule. The low-rated comedy starring Justin Kirk and Crystal the Monkey is the second show to be taken off the air this season, following CBS’ Made in Jersey. NBC will air Whitney in its place beginning Wednesday, Nov. 14. [NBC]

Alan Ball’s Banshee has been given a debut date. Ball executive produces the project, which stars Antony Starr as Lucas Hood. Hood is an ex-con who continues his illegal activities though he’s taken on the identity of sheriff of Banshee, Pa. The series premieres Friday, Jan. 11 at 10 PM on Cinemax. Ball stepped down as the showrunner on True Blood to work on this and other projects. [Cinemax]

Now that was a premiere!

From the dark and twisty minds of Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk, comes American Horror Story: Asylum, the creative duo’s latest season of their FX anthology. And Asylum’s debut episode did not disappoint. In fact, it practically made me forget about Season 1′s horrifically epic Murder House (and Mrs. Coach!).

Whether you’re a fan of the horror genre, extraterrestrial sightings or just feel really nostalgic for your Catholic school days, Asylum’s debut episode had a little something for everyone. But there were five WTF moments that stood out above the rest as especially cray cray.

Note: Spoilers if you haven’t watched Wednesday’s premiere episode, “Welcome to Briarcliff.”

1. No, not Adam Levine!

While on their haunted honeymoon tour, modern-day couple, Leo (Levine) and Teresa (Jenna Dewan -Tatum), find themselves getting frisky in the now-abandoned Briarcliff asylum. Why, you ask? Because Teresa just so happens to be a “horror freak,” and Leo will pretty much do whatever she says as long as it means he gets some action. What happened to “Thou Shalt Not Have Sex on the Electro Shock Therapy Bed?”

That’s pretty much the basis of their relationship — and the reason why, within the first five minutes of the premiere, Adam Levine gets his arm hacked off and bleeds out on the asylum floor. Bloody Face is back, b******! And he’s coming for you next, Teresa. Too bad you can’t escape the asylum.

 2. Humans and UFOs are apparently not BFFs.

Asylum is full of crazy story lines, but by far, its most absurd (and that’s not a bad thing) is the fact that aliens exist, and they do not care about true love.

Kit’s (Evan Peters) life is turned upside down when he and his secret wife Alma are seemingly abducted by aliens. Kit gets probed and thrown back on Earth, while Alma goes M.I.A. Unfortunately for Kit, he’s branded as a notorious serial killer named Bloody Face by the media and sent to Briarcliff, where he will undergo a full psychological evaluation.

Now, Kit claims he’s innocent — it was the aliens! — while everyone else around him believes he’s the man responsible for skinning women alive, including his beloved Alma. Thankfully, Kit finds an ally in the enigmatic Grace (Lizzie Brocheré). Here’s hoping she’s not a total psycho. Although, in Briarcliff, everyone is straddling the line of sanity.

3. Dr. Arden is a monster.

Dr. Arden (James Cromwell) is no McDreamy. In fact, let’s just call him McCreepy. Not only does McCreepy torture, and subsequently kill, the patients of Briarcliff — in the name of science — but he also feeds their body parts to his hoard of flesh-eating monsters. Yikes!

The evil genius also goes head-to-head against Briarcliff’s stern Sister Jude (Jessica Lange) in an epic power struggle. Sister Jude’s methods may be tough, but if McCreepy ran the asylum, all of its patients would be nothing but lab rats. Not to mention, he’s a master at manipulation. Just ask poor Sister Eunice (Lily Rabe), who finds herself in the middle of the two bickering officials when she promises McCreepy she’ll feed the flesh-eating creatures in the middle of the night.

4. Sister Jude’s sexual fantasies.

It turns out Sister Jude has the hots for Monsignor Timothy Howard (Joseph Fiennes) — and she has the red, lacy négligée to prove it. Can you really blame her, though? He’s seriously good-looking. I, too, would fantasize about making out with him from across the table.

But does this mean Sister Jude is a cougar? Also, there has to be more to Sister Jude’s story… or do all nuns wear red nighties under their habits? If you went to Catholic school, or have any sort of insider info, please feel free to reply in the comments!

5. Wendy betrayed Lana! Seriously?!

Lana (Sarah Paulson) and Wendy (Clea Duvall) seemed like the perfect couple — until Wendy had Lana committed to Briarcliff.

When Lana, a food columnist who craves an investigative scoop, gets trapped inside Briafcliff (after getting knocked out by one of McCreepy’s creatures), Sister Jude decides to make the asylum Lana’s permanent home. That is, at least until she can “cure” Lana’s homosexuality.

But the only way to get Lana committed was to have Wendy, a “respected member of the community,” sign off on Lana’s papers. If she didn’t sign the document, Sister Jude would publicize Wendy and Lana’s “sinful” relationship. So in order to save her school teacher reputation, Wendy tearfully signs the document, leaving Lana’s fate (and sanity) in the hands of Sister Jude.

Wendy, I think you’re going to regret your decision. Karma is never fun.

Buzz Moments:

OMG!: Kit is Bloody Man?! He can’t be. I refuse to believe this. I think he was just a victim of “Wrong Place, Wrong Time” syndrome.

Awk-ward: Hooking up on the electro shock therapy chair — in an abandoned insane asylum, no less — is already slightly cringe-worthy (depending on your kink-level, I guess), but then when Adam Levine went through all of that hard work only to pull out so his wife could play ghost-chaser? Bummer.

Hotness: On the other had, a sex scene involving Adam Levine is still a TV win. Oh, and Evan Peters got shirtless and sexy too — before all of the weirdo alien stuff.

Fab-u-lous: Whether or not you agree with Sister Jude’s methods, you have to admit she’s pretty badass, especially when she stood up to mad scientist, Dr. Arden. She’s not a total b****, after all. She’s just misunderstood. Kind of like Kristen Stewart.

Can. Not. Wait.: To find out what that walking microchip device was. Does this mean the aliens weren’t a figment of Kit’s imagination? Do they actually exist? And who’s Bloody Face and why is he still alive in 2012? Oh, and can we please talk about the body part-eating creatures on Briarcliff’s estate? WTF!

Celebuzz Meter (1-10): 8 – “Welcome to Briarcliff” was a solid premiere episode, and I’m definitely hungry for more Horror, but I have to leave some room for it to get even more compelling.

American Horror Story: Asylum airs Wednesdays at 10PM ET on FX.

Watch all of our interviews from the American Horror Story: Asylum premiere below.

Fans of good TV, get ready. Your Wednesday nights are going to get deliciously twisted.

Wednesday marks the premiere of FX’s American Horror Story: Asylum, and Celebuzz has scoop from the cast and details on the premiere — which might just be the most gripping hours of TV that we’ve seen this season.

Want to know all about Briarcliff, Sister Jude and Bloody Face? Here are seven things you need to know before entering the asylum.

1. Sister Jude. Jessica Lange won over critics and audiences alike with her portrayal of Constance Langdon, the Harmons’ aggressively sassy neighbor on Season 1 of American Horror Story. But forget about Constance; Sister Jude is arguably more compelling. Sister Jude not only leaves her staff perpetually terrified of her every move — poor Sister Eunice (Lily Rabe) — but she also struggles with her own personal demons, particularly the sensual feelings she has toward Monsignor Timothy Howard (Joseph Fiennes).

Not to mention, she also takes the brunt of her patients’ agression. Let’s just say, there’s more to Jude than meets the eye, and you might find yourself siding with her. Oh, and red is definitely her color.

“It was petrifying,” said Devon Graye, who makes his debut as possessed farm boy Jed on Episode 2. ”I’m such a huge fan of her’s, and when I finally read the script and saw what kind of scene I had with her, I was like, ‘This is crazy! I get to say this to Jessica Lange?’”

2. Briarcliff’s Patients. On the premiere episode, Kit (Evan Peters) and Lana (Sarah Paulson) are both committed to Briarcliff, against their will. Kit is accused of a crime he says he did not commit, while Lana, a food columnist who craves an investigative scoop, is committed because of her sexuality. To make matters even more heartbreaking, she is committed by her girlfriend (Clea Duvall).  ”[That decision] comes back to haunt her, definitely,” dished Duvall.

Kit and Lana meet a startling array of inmates, from the clinically insane to a sex addict (Chloë Sevigny), a degenerate bully (Mark Consuelos), and the mysterious Grace (Lizzie Brocheré), who immediately develops a kinship with Kit.

“He reveals, with each episode, why he deserves to be there,” Consuelos told Celebuzz. “I think he probably thinks he should be set free — and that he has been reformed.” However, it looks like Spivey is anything but sane. The former soap actor describes his character as “dark” and “demented.”

“He does enjoy Sister Jude,” Consuelos teased, before adding, “There’s a lot of people who will try and get out of that place.”

3. The Lovers. Chances are, if you’re just tuning in to catch a glimpse of Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine, then you might want to turn off your TV about five minutes in.

Leo (Levine) and Teresa (Jenna Dewan -Tatum) are modern-day newlyweds who choose to spend their honeymoon on a “Haunted Honeymoon Tour.” Why? Because Teresa just so happens to be a “horror freak,” and Leo will pretty much do whatever she says as long as it means he gets some action. That’s pretty much the basis of their relationship — and it won’t serve either of them well inside the walls of the now-abandoned Briarcliff.

Perhaps getting it on with his wife on the electro shock therapy bed wasn’t such a good idea for Leo. Ultimately, these two end up trapped inside with nowhere to run. Close your eyes, Maroon 5 fans!

4. Dr. Arden’s Laboratory. Dr. Arden (James Cromwell) is no McDreamy. In fact, let’s just call him McCreepy. Not only does he torture the patients of Briarcliff — in the name of science — but he also managed to create an entire hoard of flesh-eating monsters in the process. Yikes!

“I had no idea until I had gotten the first four scripts and my first reaction was, ‘What have I gotten myself into?’ Because I don’t really like the horror genre,” said Cromwell. But how dark will Dr. Arden get? “He’s very cruel to little animals,” joked Cromwell.

As for Arden’s tense relationship with Sister Jude, it’s one of the more dynamic story lines of the season. ”She wants control, and I want power,” Comwell explained. “The more she tries to gain control, the more I use my power to gain the ascendancy.”

5. Bloody Face. Every good horror film/series needs a good serial killer. Thanks to creators Ryan Murphy and Brad Fulchuk’s sick, twisted minds, American Horror Story: Asylum has Bloody Face. This killer murders women, cuts off their skin and wears a mask made out of the victims’ flesh and hair and teeth. If you’re squeamish, you might want to look away.

However, Bloody Face isn’t just around in the 1960s. He/she also shows up in the present — and it’s not a pretty sight.

American Horror Story: Asylum premieres Wednesday, October 17 at 10PM ET on FX.

Watch all of our interviews from the American Horror Story: Asylum premiere below.