The story seemed believable last week since Brandon is known for being King of Douche Island (at least until Spencer Pratt came along) but it seems that even Brandon has some sense of dignity.

Brandon now says the he “would never say anything nasty about Mischa, especially about her weight” and one of his friends says that Brandon is too out-of-touch to even know what Twitter is.

Last week, the BrandonDavis14 Twitter account posted a tweet that Paris Hilton‘s ex-boyfriend “Rick Soloman” (we think they mean Rick Solomon) had stolen possibly-fake-Brandon’s phone and made the Mischa comment.

So is Brandon/Rick behind the Mischa tweet or is this the work of a merry prankster who apparently hasn’t picked up a tabloid in six years and realized that no one cares about Brandon or Rick any more? We are going to go with “prankster” on this one since Brandon does seem dense enough to not know what Twitter is, let alone how to work the internet.

According to reports, “Sk8er Boi” singer Avril Lavigne—who recently split with husband Deryck Whibley—is apparently planning to move in with her rumored boyfriend and all-around awesome guy Brandon Davis.

The two have reportedly spent the week house-hunting in Beverly Hills and the Hollywood Hills, and a source reveals:

“Avril is selling her home where she lived with Deryck, while Brandon still lives in his family’s Bel-Air mansion….They both needed a place to live, so they decided to move in together…She and Brandon aren’t sure where the romance is headed, but Brandon has never lived with a woman before, so it’s a big commitment on his part.”

Please turn this into a reality show. Please turn this into a reality show…

Let us know in the comments section: Do you think Avril and Brandon’s cohabitation will lead to eternal domestic bliss?

The elder Hilton sister showed up in a silvery minidress and matching shoes, adorned in a white fur stole.

The guest of honor was accompanied by her dutiful little sis Nicky.

Celebrities in attendance at the New York nightspot included Mickey Rourke (don’t take plastic surgery tips from him, Paris!), Playboy body of the month Aubrey O’Day, JC Chasez, Brandon Davis, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen director and Shia LaBeouf wrangler Michael Bay, and Paris’ ex (or is he?), Stavros Niarchos.

Perhaps she figured (wrongly it turns out) that Benji Madden had already moved on with Katy Perry and it was time for a relationship backtrack?

Hilton is among the many celebs in town for NYC Fashion Week, and was also spotted at Justin Timberlake‘s show for his line William Rast yesterday.

It’s been a busy couple of days for the “Hot N’ Cold” singer.

She gave a fruity performance at the Grammy Awards on Sunday night, in which she descended onto the stage atop a banana and flirtingly undulated with female dancers.

But the girls seemed to be the last thing on Katie’s mind last night. (Despite carrying locks of hair belonging to Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus in her heart-shaped Grammys purse—what was that all about?)

Perhaps she’s found a replacement for ex Travis McCoy in one of these blokes?

Other celebrity guests at the party included Brandon Davis, Aaron Carter, Britny Gastineau, Alli Simms, Simon Rex and Flavor Flav‘s ex Brigitte Neilsen.

But Perry obviously stole the show, banana or no banana.

The brunette, once Britney’s right-hand ma’am, hit Hollywood hotspot Bardot last night, where sources reveal to Celebuzz the aspiring singer spent time with rock chick Avril Lavigne.

“They hung out and drunk Patron,” the source says of the odd couple, 27 and 24 respectively, who attended the popular Monday-night burlesque performance at the venue (which is attached to music staple The Avalon).

Another odd fixture at Lavigne’s table was motorist Brandon Davis.

“She and Brandon were close all night,” the spy tells us. “They arrived early and stayed for the long haul.”

Surprising, as Davis’ blonde once-mainstay Paris Hilton was also in the club with a gaggle of girlfriends, sitting on the patio and joking with staffers about how she was on the hunt for a “cute boy.”

All walks of the Hollywood totem pole seemed to turn up, from Dan Aykroyd to Rachel Leigh Cook.

Full moon or new order, who can tell?

Regardless, Sims must need some comfort, as only last month she bemoaned that Britney had been put on lockdown by dad Jamie Spears.

“”When her dad gained control, he put some rules down,” Sims told the New York Post. “[I]t’s just best for her to not communicate with a lot of people. My main concern is her being okay.”

Last night around 1 a.m., billionaire socialite Brandon Davis, 29, left the Viper Room just off the Sunset Strip in West Hollywood. He stepped into Terner’s Liquor store around the corner from the club, then got into his Mercedes to leave.

However, he didn’t make it very far out of his parking spot before backing into none other than Pink‘s BMW SUV, leaving a large dent in the backseat door on the left side.

Yikes! Doesn’t Brandon know Pink’s been known to carry a chainsaw around with her?

Check out the mishap below:

Davis and Pink, 29, met briefly after the incident, presumably to exchange insurance information. They both left the premises shortly after.

Ironically, Pink’s latest single is titled “Sober.”

Without any albums, movies or even the tiniest bit of career success, it’s a pretty big feat to get both feet onto the carpet. Mock congratulations are in order!

Click through the gallery of celebrity carpet trash on the right! If you have no idea who these so-called stars are, that’s perfectly normal. They have a hard time explaining themselves.

Even though the gossip mills have been churning out rumors that Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr had split with the actor in favor of sub-lebrity greaseball Brandon Davis, Kerr’s family claims it just ain’t so.

In Touch Weekly reported yesterday that the bikini-shilling beauty had been “full-on making out” with Davis at two New York nightclubs.

But sources close to Kerr claim that the rendezvous was a simple meeting of longtime friends, with absolutely no spit-swapping involved.

Whew; that’s good news—for Orlando, and the world at large.

Because any man who loses this—especially to a pile of uselessness like Brandon Davis—might snap and start swinging a sword for real.