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Daniel Tosh: Most Raunchy Quotes

By: Kethlene Jean-Jacques / July 13, 2012
On birth control: "Have you heard about the morning after pill -- or what I like to call, ‘breakfast in bed.’ Well, have you heard about how some of the girls who have taken it have died a few days later? Talk about two birds! Looks like I will be going to the game thi… More »


Daniel Tosh: Most Raunchy Quotes

By: Kethlene Jean-Jacques / July 13, 2012
On homosexual relationships: "God doesn’t hate gay people, he’s just mad they found a loophole in the system."… More »


Daniel Tosh: Most Raunchy Quotes

By: Kethlene Jean-Jacques / July 13, 2012
On Judaism: "One time I put a WWJD bracelet on my Jewish friend's wrist. It burned his skin."… More »


Daniel Tosh: Most Raunchy Quotes

By: Kethlene Jean-Jacques / July 13, 2012
On God: "I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed."… More »


Daniel Tosh: Most Raunchy Quotes

By: Kethlene Jean-Jacques / July 13, 2012
On sex: "Anal sex is a lot like spinach: if you're forced to have it as a child, you won't enjoy it as an adult."… More »


Daniel Tosh: Most Raunchy Quotes

By: Kethlene Jean-Jacques / July 13, 2012
On Kobe Bryant's sexual assault case: "Kobe was accused of rape, and all he had to do was settle in court for millions of dollars, change his jersey number and win a championship and that soulless town in LA couldn't be prouder. I just hope that when parents let their kids run around in #24… More »


Daniel Tosh: Most Raunchy Quotes

By: Kethlene Jean-Jacques / July 13, 2012
On race: "But if you had to eat people to survive, do you think they'd taste like their ethnic backgrounds? You can get as uncomfortable as you want, we're gonna do this joke. Think Mexican people are spicy? Do you have to have chips and salsa before you bite into Jose or can you just… More »


Daniel Tosh: Most Raunchy Quotes

By: Kethlene Jean-Jacques / July 13, 2012
On female athletes: "I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best."… More »


Daniel Tosh: Most Raunchy Quotes

By: Kethlene Jean-Jacques / July 13, 2012
On sex and women: "The closest thing I got to a birds and bees talk was with my dad. He was like, "Son, sex is a lot like this egg ... You take a woman and crack her over the head and lie her flat. Make sure she sizzles and then flip her over. Don't… More »


Daniel Tosh: Most Raunchy Quotes

By: Kethlene Jean-Jacques / July 13, 2012
On race: "A white lady came running up to me after a show. She goes, “What gives you the right to do jokes about black people like that.” And I’m like, “Listen lady, my best friend is Cuban. And that’s close enough.”… More »