couples

Nick Cannon's Wedded Wuss

by celebuzz on May. 14, 2008 02:13 PM / 4 Comments

What kind of self-respecting player would be caught shopping for Hello Kitty figurines when the world is full of flesh-and-blood dolls just aching for him to come out and have some fun?

It's newlywed Nick Cannon! Shouldn't he have lovely wife Mariah Carey so entranced by his romantic prowess that she can think of nothing other than satisfying his every whim?

Don't cry yet, Nick. There is shame in being Kitty whipped so soon, but you are not alone. The honeymoon ends for every man.

Quotables /

“Ever since Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey announced their weird-ass engagement followed by a quickie wedding, 'Mr. Carey' has been reborn into a life of A-list fame, paparazzi stalkership, and - most notably - errand running.

Here he is at Rite Aid in Beverly Hills, trying his hardest (notice the look of concentration on his face) to understand the difference between 'Maximum Strength' and 'Extra Strength' laxatives while his bulimic constipated wife tries to break it down for him over the phone.

Luckily, there are perks to the job of being Mariah Carey's sperm donor. Mariah told Nick that if he did a good job at Rite Aid, she would let him go to the Ferrari dealership afterwards where he could pick out a brand new toy!”

Pacific Coast News

Next Story / Can Lily Allen's Breasts Keep Her Career Afloat?

Also In Couples /

Comments / 1-4 of 4

Sort Oldest First

chichilavie 1 yr 6 mos ago
Reply

I would have never figured Mariah a fan of Hello Kitty...
shutyortrap 1 yr 6 mos ago
Reply

Nick -- what are you thinking!? Two words: so whipped
lisatee 1 yr 6 mos ago
Reply

his days consist of picking up hello kitty crap and laxatives for his lovely lady. it's like he's my boyfriend.
nadine 1 yr 4 mos ago
Reply

well..well...well..well...trully INSECURITY is everywhere....huhuhu....I PITY U GUYS..COZ ..i knw why your mad....coz U just dn't want to see ur face in mariahs ULTIMATE COLLECTION.....God bless mariah and nick forever!!!!!!