As Sunday’s Academy Awards draw ever-nearer, the world is bracing itself for an annual tradition: Tapping one’s fingers and sighing as one long-winded acceptance speech after another unspools at a molasses pace.

Luckily, the mashup video below (via Best Week Ever) presents Oscars speeches the way they were meant to be viewed: Short, snappy, and twisted beyond any semblance of their original contexts. Oh, and did we mention it’s hilarious?

Click below to see Angelina Jolie, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Sean Penn and a bunch of other show-biz blowhards inadvertently collaborate to create the bestest Oscars speech ever:

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