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Laurent: Once you go Black….
Let me help you, dear, your mascara is running.
I want to kiss you too!
Bella…..when was the last time you shaved….?
LAURENT: Bella, what’s wrong?
BELLA: Um, your dreads. They’re bumming me out. Are we at a Phish show on a college campus in the late ’90s? Exactly, it’s time to cut those off.
Laurent: “Bella, your top lip is fuller than your bottom lip… There are surgeries to fix that you know…”
coochee-coochee-coo!
Laurent: “See? That’s how to close your mouth. When I take my hand away, you try to keep it closed…for…30 seconds or so? You can do this.”
Laurent: “why are you so stubburn, do you want me to just freakin’ eat you, cause i will”
Bella: “well do you want a mint? caouse ya need one, bloody hell”
Laurent: You’re so…mouthwatering. Wait a second. You’re not even listening are you? I could say anything right now, and you wouldn’t even know it. Your mother is having an affair. Edward left you for me. I used to be one third of a ska band called the Beef Danglers. See? Nothing. Sheesh.
bella: *thinking* augh.. there’s food in his dreads
Laurent: Your pours are so tiny. Do you use Olay?
Bella, look at me. Don’t be scared. I’m just a Buffalo Soldier.
Bella, look at me. Don’t be scared. I’m just a Buffalo Soldier.
Laurent: “Don’t be so glum Bella. Maybe if you quit biting your lip so much, I wouldn’t have to hold your face still like this.”
Are you sure your not a vampire? You are more pale then the Cullans!
i knew you had a goatee and why are people always mistaking me for whoopi goldberg
Laurent: Ok! Bella I’m only gonna say this once, you cant fly so stop jumping of cliffs,Edward left you so what I’m trying to eat you and you don’t even notice or care, and your not a squirrel so stop trying to gnaw the trees, and last but not least there are no such things as werewolves.
Bella:But.
Laurent: No butts, say it.
Bella: who’s afraid of the big bad wolf.
laurent : now bella, come on, i know you took my creme broulee, i just want it back, thats all.. i’ll make you one if you really want !
bella : uhm… why would i want your creme broulee ? .. i thought you drank blood, not ate creme broulees.. what the heck ?
bella: stop touching my face…
“I’m the Rasta-abortionist…”
“If you call me ‘Raggedy-ass Bob Marley-wanna be reggae vampire’ one more time, I going to give you a really bad noogie. Why you tink I cut de fingers off de gloves?”
LAURENT: I see that you’re with the werewolf now.
BELLA: What?
LAURENT: The werewolf, he’s marked you as his.
BELLA: What? What are you talking about?
LAURENT: Well you are wearing his wig…
Laurent: Look in to my eyes..now when i snap my fingers you are going to kiss me.
Bella:Mmm…
* Laurent: So tell me, do I look good in this suit…because Victoria says it’s not quite my color?
Bella: umm, if I say yes, will you not eat me!!*
Laurent; Uh… Bella, you got a little somethin’ somethin’
“Look, I’ma call my girl Cindy and she’ll fix you up with some dread-locks real soon. Trust me, Cindy knows how to roll ‘em.”
Laurent: How do you get your hair this soft?
Bella: Herbal essence
Laurent: oh i must borrow some from you one day
not by the hair on your chinny chin chin
.Laurent: …but i can’t help myself. You’re so…mouthwatering….What’s wrong
Bella: Your breath smells bad
Bella: **thinking… jeezzz your breath smells bad….
Laurent: ”We were supposed to be together once Edward left…”
Bella: ”I can’t…he can smell me so well.”
Laurent: Bella, I’m your father.
laurent: i’m so sorry to tell you the trhut but edward left you for me, wue are together now sorry love, geet over it!
Laurent : What are u staring at?
Bella : Theres a random doing a bella dance
Bella: See the pimple is huge……edward’s gonna hate me forever!
“Just one little taste Bella. I promise not to tell Edward.”
Laurent : I’ll be your Davy Jones and you’ll be my Jack Sparrow and our love will last forever.
tickle tickle tickle…
bella – i am soo not worried right now! i mean im here in the middle of the woods with a scary looking guy who i know wants to eat me! & theres no one else around , but honest im not worried one little bit!!
Seriously little girl, give me your lunch money or I am gonna steal your back-pack.
Laurent: Why my dear child, DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO FRIGGIN SCARED ALL THE TIME?!?!?! grow up woman!!!!
Bella: U smell funny…
do u have a pimple?
laurent :damn bella you have beautiful eyes. Did anyone ever tell you that ?
Laurent : Please tell me what powder base you use Bella.
Kristen: Wait, is that YOUR line?
Laurent: Don’t be scared.
Bella: But I don’t want to make inter-racial Porn.
Dont worry honey it will be just fine..
“Wait…your not Edward!”
so apply foundation before powder you say.. coz my coverage is never right…
Laurent ” Bella..Leave that ugly beast Edward and come with me.”
Bella “Why…?I’ve been good this year..”