noah

Bella: Why can’t we have sex again? Because you can’t control your emotions and you’ll be too tempted to suck all my blood?

Edward: No, because I’m an alcoholic and can’t get it up when I’ve been drinking.

melndrew

Bella: I’m sorry I was reckless & stupid.
Edward: Yeah, cliff diving isn’t the best sport for you.

Edward: “I want to kiss you bella, but your morning breath is killing me… oh wait, Thats right. I’m already dead”

sgulzau

I promise you there are no monsters under your bed……

Bella: “It can’t be true Edward! It can’t!!”
Edward: “Bella I’m so sorry, but it’s true. Michael Jackson really died.”

Edward: Only on one condition.
Bella: Condition? What condition?
Edward: Marry me first.
Bella: Okay, what’s the punch line?
Edward: You’re wounding my ego, Bella. I just proposed to you and you think its a joke.

Edward: Bella, please help me lose my virginity.
Bella: Sorry dude, two movies to go.

Bella: Oh, God…..I am so sorry….
Edward: It’s OK, it was just a fart. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Your just human, Bella. Good thing I no longer need to breath!

edward:..im sorry, but its true…i do have better hair.

[quote=sgulzau]I promise you there are no monsters under your bed……[/quote]

HAHA. he would know.

lunasaturnia

Bella: “You know, it’s kind of hard to believe you’re a vampire sometimes with that five o’ clock shadow. I’m pretty sure vampires can’t grow facial hair.”

i just farted and i don’t know how to tell you

sydsouth

* Edward: I won’t hurt you Bella, I promise we’ll try–just not now! ‘sigh’
Bella: You are, as old as you say!! Any other American boy would be all over this!*

“I’m sorry Bella, but the purple sheets really have to go. They’re clashing with my eye colour.”

Edward: “Bella, I… I’m pregnant.”

edward: lets see who can win at a staring contest?
bella: dont be so childish

nevaeh9

edward: “Bella would you just bend over a bit more?”

[quote=noah]Bella: Why can’t we have sex again? Because you can’t control your emotions and you’ll be too tempted to suck all my blood?Edward: No, because I’m an alcoholic and can’t get it up when I’ve been drinking.[/quote]

Tat has the win!!! the funniest one eva!

Bella: What the frig? My lipstick? My foundation? And is that mascara too? My god, you even used the eyebrow pencil.
Edward: Um. Uhhhhm, Hoo boy. You know, you weren’t supposed to be back for like another 45 minutes.

[quote=bianca]Edward: Bella, please help me lose my virginity.
Bella: Sorry dude, two movies to go.[/quote]
This one is great

Bella: ”You can’t…it isn’t true.”
Edward: ”I can’t help it…I’m in love with Rosalie. Always have been.”

Edward: I have to tell you something Bella.
Bella: God, please don’t tell me your breaking up with me.
Edward: No.
Bella: Then what is it?
Edward: I’m gay.

Edward:”Bella i,m sorry..Jacob is just a better lay than you”

…and that was the first time i got crabs

bella: look man i’m tired of you go and go back wen you think your little men it’s ready come here until you have to go!

bella : Are u wearing my masscara and lipstick again?!
edward : it suits me better

Edward: You know, if I lowered my gaze just slghtly, I could look into your neck line *s***ing*
Bella: Dude! I’d really thought you were different! I could have an easier life with Mike now!

Edward: “It’s hard to be this close to you but I can’t stay away!”

tinatspoon

i got chiiiiillls, they’re multiplyin’

shann

E – bella i think its time
B – time for what , what do you mean?
E – For our midnight walk of course! what did you think i was going to say??! (laughs)
B – Oh yeahh (laughs) i thought you was going to say its time to dress up & play dead (laughs)
E – no we can do that when we come back ! :)

Edward: Bella, i have something important to ask you

Bella: What is it?

Edward: Will you…let me borrow your red lipstick?

Do you think anyone will ever figure out that we are twins in real life?

[quote=bianca]Edward: Bella, please help me lose my virginity.
Bella: Sorry dude, two movies to go.[/quote]
The best one!!!!!!!!!!

Bella: Edward wait, what about the other ones, what about victoria???
Edward: Nobody’s coming for you love… -thinking- OH I WANNA SUCK HER BLOOD SOOO BALDLY!!! RUN B*TCH RUUN!!!

Edward: Goodmorning my love.
Bella: I hate when you see me like this.
Edward: No, I love it. The crustys in your eyes make you look more human.

edward: bella will u marry me? Bella:im so sorry jacob proposed to me alreadyand i said yes

Eward: so Bella do you want to think on that for a bit…

Thoughts flood their minds as Edward and Bella are reunited.

Bella: I can’t wait for my vampiric transformation– I wonder if the red eyes will clash with my auburn highlights.

Edward: Om Nom Nom.

Bella: You, you’re soo beautiful…
Edward: Yea? I put on some extra powder and some lipstick… just for you … *blush*

edward: i’ll do the best i can to fix your hair, but i can’t guarantee anything
bella: i know, i know…

I have one condition, Bella. I’ll tell you what happens to the third little pig, if you promise to go right to sleep when I’ve finished.

sgulzau

Seriously, Bella, there is help for snoring

It is very important to vote in the presidential election, every vote counts

bella thinking: Should i tell him he has a booger hanging in his nose?
edward thinking: I hate not knowing what she is thinking.

“I started my period today.”
“I’ve never wanted you more.”

BELLA: kiss me
EDWARD: i would but f*ck does human morning breath stink it mean its killing me, o yeah wait im already dead =/

justincredible

Wow… I can’t believe you chose THAT pattern for your sheets… like, OMG.

Edward : Bells , i saw a creeper under your bed last night ! *feels scared
Bella : Sure its not you ? >.>
LOL

they are such a good couple

Bella:i love you and all but if you’re not going to give it up you’re staying on the floor
Edward:seriously what the……well i’ll just go home
Bella:fine you get your way all the time