Lord knows that life isn’t easy for Madonna these days. A marriage on the rocks. A back-stabbing brother. And on top of it all, she moonlights as the Crypt Keeper’s stand-in.

But seriously, Madge, personal woes and a hectic work schedule are no excuse for wandering the streets of New York looking like you’re on a panhandling expedition.

There was a time, and not too long ago, Madonna, when the thought of you kissing another girl inspired something other than retching.

A time when men would look at you and think something besides, “Man, I really need to hit the weights.”

Deliberately trampling those memories isn’t helping things.

For God’s sake, Madonna. Pull yourself together. Because compared to you these days, even this guy is looking like a glamour-puss.  And that’s just not right.

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