That’s why the Internet is here—to sift through the clutter and deliver the dish.

This week was full of juice, from rumors of a Brangelina split, to the tragic airplane crash involving DJ AM and Travis Barker. Leighton Meester and Clay Aiken finally cleared up the speculation about their personal lives, the beautiful Kim Kardashian talked about her new, fabulous body, and poor Suri Cruise is all alone! 

Click through the cover shots on the right.

The extensive captions will fit a week’s worth of news into the time it takes for your boss to go to the executive washroom.

Enjoy it on the quick and on the sly.