That’s why the Internet is here—to sift through the clutter and deliver the dish.

Babies dominated the gossip circuit this week, with a battle between Suri Cruise and Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, and an in-depth look at Hollywood’s cutest tykes! In more adult news, Jennifer Love Hewitt has lost a ton of weight, and cheating fever is in the air, with both Casey Aldridge and John Edwards in a bit of trouble with their ladies. 

Click through the cover shots on the right.

The extensive captions will fit a week’s worth of news into the time it takes for your boss to go to the executive washroom.

Enjoy it on the quick and on the sly.