That’s why the Internet is here—to sift through the clutter and deliver the dish.

A whopping three magazines focused on celebrity bodies this week, from Britney Spears and her comeback, to new moms like Jessica Alba and Halle Barry. And while some couples are supposedly planning on tying the knot, there could be trouble for Scientology‘s first couple. 

Click through the cover shots on the right.

The extensive captions will fit a week’s worth of news into the time it takes for your boss to go to the executive washroom.

Enjoy it on the quick and on the sly.