My timepiece died one day as I was about for a stroll on the cobblestone through the Holly Wood neighborhood. I soon approached a quaint gentleman from aft and politely inquired as to the hour and minute. Much to my surprise, the gentleman introduced himself, rather rudely if I may boldly add, as 'The Fergie' from the 'World Famous Traveling Troupe of the Black Eyed Peas!' Imagine the horror! A man that looks like a woman! And, by God, he was convinced that he was truly of the female species! After I wiped my mouth of the inevetible vomit, I immediately prayed to the Almighty that such nonsense would never take hold of the famous persons of The United States of America.