OK! reports that starvation enthusiast Victoria Beckham is teaming with ornery celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay to open a restaurant in L.A.
This is odd, seeing as the newly-shorn Victoria would appear to rarely ingest food.
Will the restaurant be serving shot glasses of Diet Coke, and perhaps some lettuce foam?
Ramsay told the press at the GQ Men of the Year awards that their restaurant will actually serve a menu of British comfort foods such as bangers and mash and fish and chips.
Victoria's role will be to glare at customers if they actually eat anything.
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On the menu:
For the first course, we're going to wet your palette with a delicious piping hot bowl of steam. The aromatic flavor of this really opens the pores of your taste buds.
For the second course, we've prepared a gorgeous leaf of lettuce, origami style - tonight's theme: Pacific marine life.
In between courses we do provide you with a silver spoon to stick down your throat so you can make room for the third course.
The third course is a divine morsel of sashimi, presented on a bed of poisonous flowers that, of course, shouldn't be ingested, but are there merely for show. In fact, we recommend against eating the sashimi since the raw fish has been in contact with the poisonous flowers.
And for dessert, we'll serve a bowl of our finest shaved ice, fashioned into a Montblanc pen, that you're sure to devour with the utmost delight.
When you leave our fine establishment, you'll most likely be scowling. Bon Appetit!