The Buzz on Blu: ‘Battleship,’ ‘Five-Year Engagement’ and ‘Vampire Diaries’

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With the brawn of The Expendables 2 currently holding the box office hostage, it seems only fitting that Battleship, a bit of similarly numb-skulled entertainment, shows up in stores this week as – hmm, a pairing, or a digestiv, perhaps.

In the meantime, take a look at a list of this week’s high-profile new releases on DVD:

  • Battleship (Universal Studios Home Entertainment)

The One-Liner: Peter Berg’s big stumble as a blockbuster helmer fails to breathe life into the popular board game.

Picture Perfect? Remarkably, yes – no matter what you think of the story and the performers trying to make it interesting, the image and audio quality is impeccable.

What Else Is There? A picture-in-picture commentary track hosted by Berg provides the most behind-the-scenes information, but there’s also previsualization footage of an alternate ending and a tour of the USS Missouri for folks who were worried that the filmmakers didn’t do their research when it came to military protocol withy regards to extraterrestrial invasions.

How Bad Do You Want It? It’s worth a weekend rental, but it’s not a movie you’ll likely want to revisit repeatedly.

  • The Five-Year Engagement (Universal Studios Home Entertainment)

The One-Liner:Forgetting Sarah Marshall collaborators Jason Segel and Nicholas Stoller re-team for this rom-com about a couple dealing with the delay of their impending nuptials.

Picture Perfect? Not quite but it looks very good – the images are detailed without sacrificing softness, color and the brightness is consistent and vivid.

What Else Is There? A commentary track by Stoller and Segel, 45 minutes (!) of deleted scenes, another 45 minutes of extended/ alternate scenes, and a line-o-rama featurette still don’t completely describe all of the bonus content in this set.

How Bad Do You Want It? It would take a week just to get through all of the extras, but this winning comedy only appreciates on multiple viewings.

  • The Pirates! Band of Misfits (Sony Pictures Home Entertainment)

The One-Liner: As hand-drawn animation dries up into almost nothingness, Sony Pictures banked on an even more minimized method of animation for this rousing adventure available in 2- and 3D.

Picture Perfect? In 2D it looks gorgeous, but in three dimensions the film loses some of its oomph, primarily thanks to modest or underwhelming stereoscopic effects.

What Else Is There? A commentary track from director Peter Lord, an interactive game, a 20-minute featurette about stop-motion animation, and a behind-the-scenes featurette on the staging of the Bath Chase Sequence all flesh out this film’s 3D world.

How Bad Do You Want It? If you’re a fan of stop-motion animation, this one’s a must-have.

  • Think Like a Man (Sony Pictures Home Entertainment)

The One-Liner: This adaptation of Steve Harvey’s comical self-help book manages to be remarkably charming as a winning ensemble cast earns the audience’s affection with their familiar romantic peccadilloes.

Picture Perfect? All-around good, thanks to a faithful transfer of digital cinematography that makes the actors and their locations look gorgeous.

What Else Is There? Deleted scenes, a gag reel, an interview with Steve Harvey and a collection of featurettes offers alternately serious and silly observations about male-female relationships.

How Bad Do You Want It? Perhaps unsurprisingly, it would be great for date night, but there’s not much need to keep it around for long-term pointers.

  • The Vampire Diaries: The Complete Third Season (Warner Home Video)

The One-Liner: The soapy bloodsucker series comes to home video in a new set, offering fans another chance to salivate over its sexy stars.

Picture Perfect? Solid presentation preserves the show’s moody visuals, but there’s nothing here that’s going to replace your favorite reference disc.

What Else Is There? A collection of unaired scenes, a featurette about “Stefan’s Descent Into Darkness,” and an examination of the history of vampires offers a few more drops of information for fans.

How Bad Do You Want It? If you’re a fan, it’s the week’s No. 1 pick. But if not, it might be best to catch a rerun or two before committing to a whole season.