‘American Horror Story: Asylum’ Recap: 5 WTF Moments From ‘Dark Cousin’

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'AHS' Renewed for S3
THe FX thriller has been renewed for a third season.
The angel of death stopped by Briarcliff this week on FX’s American Horror Story: Asylum — and she claimed   more than one unfortunate soul.

With her six-foot wide jet black wings and alluring bright red lips, Francis Conroy made quite the entrance at Briarcliff, much to the disdain of her “fallen cousin” — the evil spirit inside Sister Mary Eunice (Lily Rabe).

Note: Spoilers if you haven’t watched Wednesday’s episode, “Dark Cousin.”

1. Grace is finally “free.”

The Dark Angel is summoned when Grace’s botched sterilization brings her to the brink of death. However, just before she can accept her kiss of death, she’s brought back to life by an extremely overzealous Sister.

Sister Mary Eunice stops by Dr. Arden’s (James Cromwell) office to taunt him about his terrible surgical work. “All of her girl parts have been scooped out,” she reminds him. But there’s one catch: Arden hasn’t performed Grace’s sterilization.

When Kit (Evan Peters) — who is facing the electric chair for Dr. Thredson’s (Zachary Quinto) dirty work — hears about Grace’s misfortune, he makes a run for it, knocking his defense lawyer out cold in the process. On the positive side, this could work in Kit’s favor. After all, he needs to prove to the judge he’s cray cray. But now that Kit’s a fugitive on the run, the police have been ordered to shoot on sight. Yikes.

But when Kit sneaks into Briarcliff to save Grace, flesh-eating Spivey (Mark Consuelos) follows him and ultimately wrecks havoc on his escape plan. Upon discovering Kit with Spivey’s blood on his hands, security guard Frank fires a fatal shot… but it’s Grace who takes the hit. Her last words? “I’m free.”

2. Sister Mary Eunice cries out for help.

Elsewhere in Briarcliff, another patient attempts a gory suicide by slitting his wrists on a deli slicer. Excuse me, but why is there a whirring deli slicer in an insane asylum? After calling upon death, she comes to his bedside and ushers him into the eternal darkness. But her work at Briarcliff isn’t done yet.

Sister Satan barges into the room, demanding the Dark Angel leave the asylum. However, Dark Angel tells her she was summoned by the Sister Mary Eunice’s innocent soul. For a second we see the real Mary Eunice come bawling out of her normally steely facade.

3. Pray for Lana.

Oh, Lana (Sarah Paulson). Poor, poor Lana. With her current status as Bloody Face’s sexual play thing, it’s now wonder Lana called upon Death.

The Dark Angel pays Lana a visit in Thredson’s basement, but before they seal the deadly deal, Bloody Face’s latest victim decides she is not yet ready to give up. Little did she know she’d be in for the fight of her life when Thredson decides that keeping her alive was a bad decision. But when he tries to kill her, Lana somehow manages to wrangle out of his grasp.

Despite her best efforts, Lana doesn’t succeed in killing Thredson, but she does knock him out for just enough time to escape the basement.

Unfortunately for Lana, she ends up in a car with a suicidal man who, seconds after the Angel of Death appears in the backseat, blows his own brains out. Poor Lana ends up right back in Briarcliff surely wishing she’d just chosen death when she had the chance.

With her brilliant performance this season, Paulson is giving Jessica Lange a serious run for her money come Emmy time.

4. Sister Jude faces her demons.

Considering that Sister Jude (Lange) has attempted suicide before, she’s well acquainted with the Angel of Death who arrives when the Sister envisions slitting her own wrists.

After a heart-to-heart with the Dark Angel, she decides she’s ready to pucker up for her last kiss, but first feels she needs to apologize to the family of the child she struck and killed a decade prior. However, upon visiting the family, Jude shockingly learns the child not only survived, but had gone on to become a nurse with a child of her own. Now if that doesn’t restore Jude’s faith in God, nothing will.

5. Arden knows there’s something about Sister Mary.

The Dark Angel isn’t the only person Sister Mary Eunice takes on this episode. “You touch me again, you will die,” she tells Dr. Arden after he slaps her across the face. When he tries to slap her again, Sister Satan hurls him right across the room.

Now call me crazy, but wouldn’t Arden wonder how little Sister Mary could toss him around like a rag doll? You’d think he would at least call his BFF Monsignor Howard (Joseph Fiennes) and tell him that one of the nuns has is running rampant? Or perhaps he’s too afraid to stand up to Sister Satan now that she knows about his Nazi past.

Dr. Arden may be too scared to dance with the Devil, but Sister Jude is ready to kick Sister Mary Eunice off her high horse.

Buzz Moments:

OMG!: The little girl in the blue coat is alive! Hail Mary, indeed Sister Jude. Now, what are we going to do about Sister Satan?

Awk-ward: Dr. Thredson is 50 Shades of Crazy. First, he calls Lana his mother, and then the next minute, he’s sexually assaulting her and trying to kill her. Why did he so suddenly change his mind on keeping her alive anyway?

Hotness: When Lana managed to escape Dr. Thredson’s maniacal grasp — and nearly choke him to death — I’ve never been so turned on by a fictional female TV character. You go girl.

Fab-u-lous: Francis Conroy’s performances as the Angel of Death was particularly striking. Up until this point, every death on Asylum appeared to be gruesome and excruciating, but Conroy brought a beauty to death we had yet to see. So is death the only escape from Briarcliff?

Can. Not. Wait.: To find out what happens to Kit! At this point, Lana is his only hope at redemption, but how can she help him when she can’t even help herself? Also, I really need to see Sister Jude b**** slap the hell out of Sister Mary Eunice.

Celebuzz Meter (1-10): 9

American Horror Story: Asylum airs Wednesdays at 10 PM on FX.

Watch all of our interviews from the American Horror Story: Asylum premiere below.

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