Rest assured, though, you can take a girl out of New York, but you can’t take the New York out of a girl. Why do I say this? Well, because just mere minutes into the episode and Jessa’s shouting out remedies for urinary tract infections, which apparently are just referred to as “UTIs.” Jessa says the most effective way to get rid of such a thing is to “stick garlic into your p—y.” New Yorkers are vulgar, and don’t always think before they act. Still, I could’ve done without that piece of knowledge. But to those who’ve been affected by this infection, I hope you took notes. And it’s probably safe to say that if you watch Girls, then you have.
Moving on from Female 101, but then again what am I saying, we’re talking about a show called Girls. Every episode alone is a lesson in the femal psyche.
Jessa’s dad is really late to pick them up at the train station. But when he finally arrives, it was worth the wait in my book. The guy’s got a Charles Manson hotness about him going on. Yes, I understand how weird that might read, but Charles Manson was weird. The fact that people liked him is weird. So this makes total sense. Right?
They make their way to the Johansson house, which, by the way, doesn’t look anything like what I’d expect Jessa’s childhood home to look like. But then again, I also wouldn’t expect Jessa to live in the middle of nowhere — no wonder this chick is such a riot. It was that or a lifelong rendition of Hippies on the prairie. Oh yeah, one other thing: There is absolutely no understanding Jessa at all when she’s speaking to her father. Their accents meshed in one conversation is enough to drive anyone insane. Frankly, it was annoying, because I kept rewinding the scene over and over trying to grasp anything of what they were saying only to find out it was pointless. I like Jessa, so all is forgiven.
Jessa’s dad is a lot like her, though. They both spit out inappropriate things like nobody’s business. He says as he’s aimlessly watering the lawn (“I know other things that are living and growing and don’t get treated as good as this lawn”). I FEEL THAT, BROTHER! I got a kick out of that. I needed a little spice after spending half an episode in Manitou. Take me back to New York, please!
A little bit more of this unconventional father daughter talk and we learn that Jessa’s not as much of a Boss Bitch as we thought she was. She’s still pretty hurt about the way her marriage went. Jessa’s character is developing before our very eyes. And there is no place that will bring out your true colors like home will. Ask around.
Meanwhile, Hannah’s kind of into Jessa’s stepbrother, Frank. He looks like an overgrown child, and wears a turtleneck on what’s clearly a hot summer day. Hannah’s no poster child for normalcy, so I’ll take it. She says, “I guess I can’t tell if guys are attractive in a loserly way or if they’re just losers.” That doesn’t happen to me very often, but when it does, it’s dangerous.
Dinnertime has arrived and since we’re in rural upstate New York, everyone has to eat outside. And so they do. They eat rabbits. The same rabbit that Hannah was so lovingly caressing at the beginning of the episode when she first laid eyes on Frank the weirdo. “A rabbit a day, keeps the doctor away” is the motto that this family lives by. New Yorkers don’t eat rabbits, let alone see them, so as you can imagine, Hannah was not down for the rabbit eating. But a vision in Blonde came our way and saved her from having to digest anymore of that poor little animal. Tyler, a blonde, all american suburban boy, also a friend of Frank comes over to pick Frank up. Tyler and Frank were close to having my gaydar explode. But, everyone else seemed to be oblivious of the whole thing.
They invite Hannah and Jessa to come along and off they go on a drive that seemed to be straight out of I know What You Did Last Summer. Tyler is speeding down those zig zaggy country rodes like he has a death wish. Control freak Hannah is going out of her mind in the backseat and refuses to take a sniff of… Whip it? Yeah they were getting high off of Whip it somehow. Don’t know why, don’t know how. I guess this is what happens in small towns. Things get a lil’ cray and Hannah demands they stop the car, running into the woods saying, “I feel like I’m in freaking Hocus Pocusand Thora Birch is gonna wear a little hat.” This was the highlight of the episode. Anyone that even mentions that film will always have a place in my heart. Of course, right after this moment of glory she goes ahead and has forest sex with Frank the weirdo. He’s a minuteman and ejaculates before she’s had a chance to even get in groove of things. Poor Hannah. Maybe, it’s what she gets for always starting a conversation during intercourse. When will she ever stop?
Back on the hippie ranch, things get real again. Hannah finds out Frank is pretty much gay and he’s also pretty much in love with Tyler. I knew it, it’s just a shame that Hannah didn’t. We’ll be seeing the repercussions of this event play out during the next few episodes, I’m sure of it. This girl can’t get away from the gays. And she beats herself up about it. Lighten up, honey. You’re helping guys come out all over the nation. Frank’s coming out party shouldn’t be too far along now.
Jessa’s dealing with her own issues. Coming to the realization that she wasn’t in the right state of mind to visit her father yet. In which Hannah responds, “Who’s ever in the right frame of mind to see their parents?” PREACH. Oh yeah, and remember what I said in last week’s recap about Dunham taking chances and how we never know what character we will or won’t see. Well, she must’ve heard it because Jessa runs away at the end of “Video Games.” Great, a world without Jessa. How will I ever deal?
OMG!: Jessa’s gone? ugh. I feel like no one’s as ballsy as her on Girls.
Thank you, TV gods.: The reference to Hocus Pocus and Thora Birch is all a pop culture junkie can hope for in life.
Awk-ward: Hannah finding out that Frank is gay. If she turns her gaydar on, she’ll spare herself these awkward-licious moments.
Hotness: Tyler. I was expecting a make out scene between him and Frank the weirdo. But, Tyler alone was enough.
Fab-u-lous: That wannabe Jersey that Tyler had on fit him like a glove. This is what fashion is when you live in Manitou.
Can. Not. Wait.: Honestly, I couldn’t wait to get back into New York during this entire episode. That’s what I can’t wait for: Taxis and brownstones.
Celebuzz Meter (1-10): 7 —I didn’t mind getting a bit more backstory on Jessa, but I really missed Brooklyn.
Which character’s family on would you like to meet next on Girls?
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