Please Enjoy Nothing You Can Afford In the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book

at 8:15 pm | By

Hey, poor people.  Guess what!  The Neiman Marcus Christmas Book is out and there isn’t a damn thing in it that you can afford, except for stationary, but stop embarrassing yourself.

Way before GOOP showcased a $14,000 spring wardrobe, Neiman’s Christmas Book rolled out “Fantasy Gifts,” items that only the most stately and elegant of humans could afford.

Neiman’s started their Christmas catalogue in 1939, but it wasn’t until 1952 that then-CEO Stanley Marcus thought it’d be fun to introduce obnoxiously excellent gifts to rich people.

Past gifts include an ermine bathrobe (GIMME), a gold toilet seat, a baby elephant from Thailand, a pair of yellow diamonds, a custom suit of armor, a backyard water park and a $15,000 edible gingerbread playhouse.

This year, the most expensive gift in the catalogue is “Roughing It,” an experience priced at $1,850,000.  The recipient of the 25-carat Forevermark diamond will get to dine at the Tower of London, then travel to Africa where the diamond was found:

This once-in-a-lifetime adventure starts with a trip to the De Beers headquarters in London. Once there, you’ll receive your exceptional diamond in its rough and uncut form, name your diamond, learn about the unique inscription it will receive, and meet the master craftsman who will hand-cut and polish it to perfection.

A private tour of The Crown Jewels and dinner with De Beers CEO Philippe Mellier and Forevermark CEO Stephen Lussier in the Tower of London follow. Your journey continues on a vessel off Namibia’s coast, where your diamond was discovered deep within the ocean floor. You’ll then explore rough-diamond sorting houses and a children’s community project, where the local population benefits from Forevermark’s responsible sourcing of diamonds.

Feeling guilty about being so rich?  Neiman Marcus will donate $10,000 to The Heart of Neiman Marcus Foundation because you were so kind to drop over $1,000,000 for Christmas.

Too poor for the Forevermark gift? Launch the gallery to find out what you might be able to afford instead (but probably not).