I’m Trent Vanegas from Pink is the new Blog and I’ve noticed how much fun the gossip-slinging is over here at Celebuzz so I figured I’d get in on the fun.
Over the weekend we heard all about the ALLEGED assault that took place in Miami, FL between Paris Hilton‘s younger brother Barron Hilton, II and some guy named Ray LeMoine, a man who has been connected to Lindsay Lohan. You know the story, all of these celebs and their hangers-on partied their asses off in celebration of Art Basel 2013 when insults were slung then fists were flung and accusations ran amok. All of this drama resulted in the mangled face of Barron Hilton, an extremely pissed off big sister Paris Hilton, an accused mastermind in Lindsay Lohan and a possible arrest warrant for “Lohan Thug” Ray LeMoine (seen above).
Thus far, we’ve heard from Barron Hilton and from Paris Hilton but we’ve yet to hear from the folks involved on the other side of the story. Lindsay Lohan, smartly, got her ass out of Miami as quickly as possible and jetted back to the relative safety of NYC to avoid any further involvement in the drama. Ray LeMoine got stuck in Florida to deal with the legal fallout and is finally speaking out about his side of the story of what he says went down with Barron Hilton. LaMoine has blogged about his altercation with Hilton and, naturally, it’s a juicy read.
Art Basel is the only place in America where a guy with a net worth of roughly $45.13 can wind up staying at a mansion called Crazy Bitch, partying with Lindsay Lohan, and having a run-in with Conrad Hilton’s spoiled sperm experiment, otherwise known as Barron … I’m a freelance writer, but I also co-own a bar in the East Village and dabble in event planning. My contract was to help [Paris Hilton’s ex-boyfriend Cy] Waits and make a little extra money. What I didn’t plan on: becoming an artist myself. My performance masterpiece, Lohan Thug, was conceived by accident. It was, however, the best piece at Basel, where most people were pawning off their soiled underwear as art. Lohan Thug focuses on what happens when the best media outlet (TMZ) accuses an accidental artist (me) of beating up a quasi-famous person (Barron Hilton) on orders from a real famous person (Lindsay Lohan)—and the artist is forced to run from the cops. It’s a major addition to the American canon and a comment on absolutely everything. Here’s how it came to be: … One of the people renting the house with us just so happened to be Lohan’s current boyfriend, whom I won’t name.
OOOH, Lindsay‘s current boyfriend? I somehow doubt he’s talking about 18 year old Michael Neeson, who Lindsay has been attached to recently. Obvs she’s really dating someone else. HMMM.
So Lohan decided to stay with us and hang out. It made sense. Lohan is Andy Warhol’s wet dream—a child star gone rogue, who grows up to be an American badass. If she were in the fine arts, her rebellion would be celebrated à la Dash Snow. Were she a eurozone politician, she would be one “bunga bunga” away from reelection. But as a film actress, she is crucified by the puritanical press for the very things most people do in their 20s. And never mind that she’s hugely talented. But I digress.
Blah Blah Blah. He goes from there, how he met Lindsay, how they became “friends” that partied with Kanye West and Kim Kardashian at a nightclub party, etc. LeMoine finally gets to the good part … it was his duty to kick Barron Hilton out of the mansion he (and Lindsay) were staying at the morning after a crazy party the night before. This is where his story gets good:
In the morning I woke up to discover that a bunch of people had been up all night doing Molly … so we started kicking people out. I walked out to the patio, and I saw this blond brosef in a top hat and John Lennon glasses. He seemed nice at first, but when I asked him to leave, he went bonkers.
“Don’t fuck with me. Do you know who my sisters are?”
“No, dude. I just woke up. Stop. Leave.”
“Paris and Nicky!”
As in Paris and Nicky Hilton. Barron got in my face and wouldn’t shut up about his stupid family. Eventually things got so heated that he pushed me. And that’s when the alleged assault, which, of course, I deny, took place. (I imagine he wouldn’t have even gotten cut if it wasn’t for those stupid glasses.) A few minutes later I left to meet up with some friends in South Beach. But apparently Barron called his sister, and she convinced him to alert TMZ. “No one fucks with my family and gets away with it,” she told the Internet.
And the rest is history. You can read Ray LeMoine‘s full treatise HERE but I’ve already highlighted the best parts. What we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is a playground fight that took place on a celebrity scale. It’s interesting, I think, because we get to see how the other half lives. Normally we only see the glamorous part of celebrity life. This insight by “regular Joe” Ray LaMoine shows us that celebs can be just as catty, just as bitchy and just as whiny as anyone else (big shock, I know). I have to say in the battle between Team Hilton and Team Lohan, I’m on Team LaMoine in all of this mess. Whether the fight was instigated by Barron or not, Ray LaMoine got to ALLEGEDLY punch a Hilton in the face. For that alone, he deserves some sort of medal. I mean, amirite?