If you haven’t already heard (which seems pretty impossible), last night brought us a horrendous finale to the most horrendous Bachelor season of all time… Thank you Juan Pablo Galavis A.K.A. The Worst Bachelor in Franchise History.
wasted spent those three dreadful hours watching in absolute agony as cringe-worthy moment after cringe-worthy moment piled into the season finale. And although it was hard to watch, I am so glad the After the Final Rose ceremony was filmed live because there were too many hilariously uncomfortable encounters caught on camera that provided the perfect inspiration for this post…
Thus, my gift to you–A recap of all those cringe-worthy moments provided in one long list:
- Juan Pablo’s parents had very few positive things to say about their son. They mentioned that he’s selfish and stubborn, and his mom said he’s “pretty ready” for marriage… Which was really encouraging for final contestants Clare Crawley and Nikki Ferrell, right?
- When JP looked at the camera and asked the producers, “Can I keep both?” As if they were two sad, little puppies at the pound who needed a home. Cringe.
- The infamous helicopter moment. Clare wanted to know if JP loved her, and he responded with the most epically douchebag moment ever: “I don’t know you, but I love f*cking you.” What every girls hopes to hear someday!
- When Juan Pablo finally told Clare she wasn’t the one for him, then tried to hug her, and she pushed him away very dramatically (with tears in her eyes, of course).
- Then Clare walked away from the engagement podium and told Juan Pablo: “I would never want my children having a father like you.” Ouch!
- But it gets worse… After Clare’s outburst, Juan Pablo looked at the camera and nonchalantly shrugged her off saying, “Glad I didn’t pick her!” In what will likely be considered one of his most douchey moments of the entire season.
- Then Nikki came to the engagement podium and sincerely told Juan Pablo she loved him… To which he responded, “I like you a lot, too.” Awkward.
- After not tell her he loved her, JP then told Nikki he had a diamond ring in his pocket but wasn’t going to give it to her… Like a bully stealing a lollipop from a baby and yelling “Na na na na na! You can’t have it!”
- So, instead of the diamond ring JP offers Nikki a rose, and she
tells him to politely fuck offaccepts his offer, doing exactly what the whole world hoped she wouldn’t do.
- Then in the After the Final Rose show, Chris Harrison interrupts Juan Pablo who rolled his eyes in annoyance and kicked things off on a real awkward note. You could practically cut the tension with a knife
- When Harrison asked Nikki if she’s still in love with JP, she said “absolutely,” but when Chris asks if JP has told Nikki he loves her she says “no,” smiling uncomfortably and causing all of us to cringe in embarrassment.
- Things continued to get heated between the bachelor and the whole franchise executive team when Harrison asked about the “big surprise.” Juan Pablo said he already talked to the executives before the show and told them there is absolutely “no surprise,” saying, “This is my secret. I’m here happy with Nikki.”
- Then Juan Pablo explained how glad he was to be taking boxing lessons because he’s constantly “ducking” out of the way of The Bachelor‘s production team. (I’m guessing he was not very compliant.)
- When Harrison kept asking JP if he’s in love with Nikki and he continued with the same response: “I’m not going to answer that question, Chris.”
- Then Juan Pablo made sure to reiterate how he’s “so done with the show” explaining that he and Nikki were planning on living a very private life from here on out. But previous bachelorSean Lowe made sure to set him straight, and said, “I hate to burst your bubble, but you won’t have privacy.”
- However, Sean’s wife Catherine Lowe had the winning quote of the night, telling JP: “Don’t slap the hand that fed you.” Juan Pablo did not understand what that meant… Double cringe.
- They eventually did everyone a favor and cut to a break, during which we see Chris Harrison storm off stage as JP and Nikki awkwardly make out in front of the audience. When they return from the break, Harrison kicks things off with what he wanted JP to say all along: “We’re back and clearly Juan Pablo is in love with Nikki.” (Clearly he is not… But the show must go on, right?)
- Finally, when JP and Nikki make their exit at the end of the show, Chris Harrison looks to the camera and explains how excited he is for this season of The Bachelor to finally be over (and then makes sure Andi Dorfman–the new Bachelorette–understands that the point of the show is to find love while being televised… An obvious hit at JP).
In essence, the entire episode was a f*cking sh*tshow and Juan Pablo goes down in history as the worst bachelor EVER.
PS: If you have any opinions on this, please feel free to leave them in the comments below. I’ll gladly read!